"You may now kiss the bride"

[LornMowa]

All this talk of weddings has reminded my of my own. At the practice I specifically asked the priest not to say "YMNKTB". Firstly because I think snogging in church is tacky and secondly because I think it is up to me and my husband whether (and when) we kiss.

He still said it though - I just gave hubby a kiss on the cheek.

Was I unreasonable?

what if you gave him oral sex in the vestry?
is that ok/

Kerry - "Of course there are those who present the ice queen personna in public who are out of control in the bedroom..."

Wait, what? What about your "guarantee"?

I am confused.

I think it would be strange to see a couple give a peck on the cheek at their own wedding.
That's what you do do with old aunties.
Not saying full on snogging or anything, but at least a peck on the lips!

kerry you are a nob end

still think that it has absolutely no bearing on your sex life

some people are private or shy

if you are uncomfortable doing something and yet do it for the sake of convention..well that bodes worse for your sex life imho

I was at a wedding when the (newly qualified) officiant forgot to say YMNKTB. When prompted, he got all flustered and gave the bride a peck on the cheek. When the groom protested "what about me?", the officiant promptly gave him a peck on the cheek too!

I can't believe some people think it's naff. To me it seals the deal, so to speak. Just because it is supposedly American doesn't make it wrong. I think it is lovely. It's not like you give him a full on snog or anything. Even if the person marrying you didn't say it, I bet most couples would do it anyway

Oh for f sake! Listen to some people getting married is purely a legal transaction in that it is not a 'special day' for them. They ALREADY love each other dearly and marriage is just a formality.
Ridiculous to suggest the way they kiss means anything!
People seriously need to stop this Bridezilla crap.

You 'seal the deal' when you sign the bleedin' register.

The vicar forgot to say it at our wedding. It's not written in the actual service thing and she forgot to say it. We were a bit that it was suddenly time to walk down the aisle out of church. Months later my aunty said "I don't remember you kissing during the service" .

Our first married kiss was a fake pose for the photos with both of us trying not to crack up laughing

I perhaps didn't phrase the question quite correctly. I am perfectly happy to kiss my spouse on the lips in public. What I really thought was unreasonable was that when the priest didn't need to say"YMNKTB" (it isn't actually part of the service) but he did anyway - despite me asking him not to.

Its kinda against my feminist principles anyway - just 'cause we're married doesn't mean that I have to consent to congress just because a priest demands it.

Anyway, I am pleased my first MN thread has generated some interest. I will admit to being a nervous lurker - but wild in the bedroom honest!

God almighty. Kerry you have proved the reason why many people would prefer not to kiss at the altar - the idea that the congregation are then going to be judging their sexual chemistry and holding up marks out of 10 cards would put ME off. doesn't that make any sense to you?

:o kerry

We were told that the deal was sealed with the speaking of marriage vows in front of witnesses, and that even if we left after that bit we'd be married, even without signing the register.

Lornmowa I understood that you meant you didn't like the idea of the man being given permission to take sexual charge of his new wife. Maybe "you may kiss" would be better for people sensitive to these things? i can't remember what ours said. You may now kiss, I think? It was a civil ceremony. We had practiced so as to avoid any unexpected Liza Minelli action

YABU. The priest doesn't mean you have to have a full blown kiss.

vicar never said it at mine either :( it did make me sad though

I'm interested to know what happens at a registry office wedding? Do they give couples a choice about this part? I can imagine that there may be some cultures/faith groups where this wouldn't be welcome.

Civil ceremony you can choose the whole thing, apart from the words that form the legal contract.

But obv if you wanted something v whacky like the registrar to rant on about smufs, or something offensive, they can say no!

we first got married at the registry office,it took 5min,then he said we were done,i was waiting for the YMNKTB sentence but it never came,so i nicely asked the man who married us if i could kiss my husband to hear people laughing and clapping,,

when we had a church blessing,our pastor told my husband to kiss me,if he had not told him i would have asked if i could kiss my DH,,nothing heavy,just a light kiss,because i like that part.

I thought the point was that you presumably want to kiss each other (seeing as how you are getting married) and they are indicating an appropriate moment when everyone will cheer/clap/cry with happiness if you do. It's nice.

I think it's "you may kiss the bride" which has caused the controversy, rather than the actual kiss. Like some people don't want to be "given away" by their fathers. These things hark back to a time when the woman was passing ownership from father to husband, "you may now kiss the bride" in that context is not very nice (you may now take ownership including sexual ownership of this woman).