To think this dad of DD's classmate is mental?

[MargueriteArgeneau]

And to want to tell them to fuck right off?

A few weeks ago, the father of one of her classmates found me at work (in the supermarket). He was extremely upset with me for wasting his time the two past Wednesdays. It seems his DD invited my DD to an evening church activity on Wednesdays and said "we can pick you up". DD never mentioned this to me none Wednesday evening we we're at home, and they sat ^in our empty driveway for half an hour. The next, I had a phone call from an unknown number which I did not answer, and no message was left. He was so angry that I had wasted his time coming all the way out to our house from town. I politely (because I was at work) told him DD never told me about it, and that it would be better to make these plans with the parents than to leave it up to the children as they don't know what evening plans the family may have.

I asked DD if she'd like to go, and took her to it myself last week. When we arrived, he was offended that I hadnt called him so that he could drive her. Its a two hour activity, and as I do not feel inclined to do the bible study during that time I left (as many parents do) saying to DD and this father "I will be back at 7pm to pick you up to go home".

When I got there to pick her up, DD, her friend and the dad were walking to his car and he acted all shocked saying "oh! I was going to bring her home". Was IBU to be angry that he was leaving with her? He was mightily offended that I grabbed her off him saying "I TOLD you I was picking her up!"

Then this afternoon he calls me saying "I just wanted to make sure your DD is coming tonight". I just told him no, Wednesday is a difficult day for us and if it works for us I will be bringing her and picking her up myself.

WTF is his problem, and why does he want her there so much? We don't even go to that fecking church!

Tell him, the dad to fuck off. Not the nine year old friend!

Please excuse typos. I'm on an iPhone and ver pissed off. My thumbs may have gotten ahead of my brain.

Rofl Madam I wouldn't really tell him to fuck off unless he actually took off with her or something.

Weird.
Is it a 'normal' church? He sounds so control freaky...I'd be deeply suspicious.

He sounds like a nut job!

Keep your DD well away from him.
I find it creepy that he tried to take her home .

I would have no probs telling him to fuck right off!

Strange behaviour. I wouldn't leave my kid with anyone so irrational and easily upset.

Strange behaviour. I wouldn't leave my kid with anyone so irrational and easily upset.

very weird. his behaviour, and especially him trying to take her away would set huuuuge alarm bells off in my head. don't give your daughter opportunity to be talked into anything by him. he sounds very manipulative.

I'd be concerned about leaving my child anywhere that does not check who that child should be going home with!

Odd, very odd. Children make all kinds of arrangements between themselves, dd often comes out of school saying "so and so is coming to our house" or vice versa. I would never treat this as serious unless parental arrangements had been made.

I'd actually be more pissed off at the church for letting him leave the building with your dd without express permission.

I would avoid him and that activity at all costs...VERY SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOUR. All Fathers know you don't go off with other peoples kids unless you have permisson...he sounds like a weirdo. Don't put your DD in a situation where he is present agaoin.

No, that is weird behaviour. Keep your dd away from him and inform school he is never to collect her.

He sat in your driveway for half an hour, but didn't come up to the door a d knock?

weirdy freak. Steer clear.

How old is your daughter?

Confirmed. He is a weirdo!

The church is a Southern Baptist mega-church. I am angry that he was allowed to leave with her. I went in and pitched a bit of a fit about itthat night.

Good idea about telling the school she is not to leave with him.

About him not coming to the house when sat in the driveway, we live out ^in the country and well off the road. Plus, there is an electric gate at the entrance from the road, and I have refused to give him the gate code.

Btw I am not a bit posh for having a gate. BIL installs gates and did ours free

She is 9. She was upset and confused that he was taking her home as I had said I was coming back and she's had t well drilled into her that she doest go with someone unless I've said to.

IMO at 9 they are not old enough or mature enough to be making their own arrangements.
YANBU. If you want your daughter to attend a church group can't you find somewhere more local which is small enough for the children to be known well and for the organisers to have a better handle on who is coming and going.

that he took your DD when you said that you were picking her up.

Has your DD been around to her friends house a lot? Common sleep overs or anything? I know I wouldn't think twice about taking DDs best friend to town or anything (with DD) before asking her parents - and DDs friends parents do the same often, I think it's just mutually agreed that they can go anywhere as long as an adult is there. An unspoken agreement, though would wait with DDs friend until her parents picked her up and if they didn't get there in a certain time I'd have no problems taking her home.

Were you late/did he hear you say that you would be picking her up?

I'm thinking that this probably isn't the case, in which case avoid avoid avoid.

I told him directly I was picking her up.

She has been to their house to play once, about two years ago. I never let her go back as I found out after she'd been that they have a pit bull which I am not comfortable with.

Oh, and no I wasn't late, I was right on time. He was "early" as he'd stayed for the bible study.

In light of this thread I'm planning to call DDs friends just in case .

Can you phone them up? Does he have a DP/W who you could talk to - tbh it doesn't sound like reasonable or rational are in his dictionary.
If they go on any future outings could you arrange or hint at another child and their parent joining them?

This man is a nut and this 'church' may well be dangerous. I feel sorry for the nutter's DD TBH. Given that your DD has already been distressed by this man, stop taking her to the church group, tell her that the other DD is welcome to your house but she doesn't have to go to their house (ie don't stop the friendship, this other poor kid may well really need friends) but keep any dealings with the nutter father icily polite and no more.

YANBU and this man sounds VERY unreasonable and pretty alarming actually. Steer clear of this one.

YANBU- he sounds like a loon!