To think this dad of DD's classmate is mental?

[MargueriteArgeneau]

And to want to tell them to fuck right off?

A few weeks ago, the father of one of her classmates found me at work (in the supermarket). He was extremely upset with me for wasting his time the two past Wednesdays. It seems his DD invited my DD to an evening church activity on Wednesdays and said "we can pick you up". DD never mentioned this to me none Wednesday evening we we're at home, and they sat ^in our empty driveway for half an hour. The next, I had a phone call from an unknown number which I did not answer, and no message was left. He was so angry that I had wasted his time coming all the way out to our house from town. I politely (because I was at work) told him DD never told me about it, and that it would be better to make these plans with the parents than to leave it up to the children as they don't know what evening plans the family may have.

I asked DD if she'd like to go, and took her to it myself last week. When we arrived, he was offended that I hadnt called him so that he could drive her. Its a two hour activity, and as I do not feel inclined to do the bible study during that time I left (as many parents do) saying to DD and this father "I will be back at 7pm to pick you up to go home".

When I got there to pick her up, DD, her friend and the dad were walking to his car and he acted all shocked saying "oh! I was going to bring her home". Was IBU to be angry that he was leaving with her? He was mightily offended that I grabbed her off him saying "I TOLD you I was picking her up!"

Then this afternoon he calls me saying "I just wanted to make sure your DD is coming tonight". I just told him no, Wednesday is a difficult day for us and if it works for us I will be bringing her and picking her up myself.

WTF is his problem, and why does he want her there so much? We don't even go to that fecking church!

BoffinMum - that is what I was referring to re my experiences. That is what triggered me to think of it.

Even if he truly meant nothing sinister he has entirely inappropriate responses to normal situations and for that reason I would not want my daughter anywhere near him.

Berating people in public? Taking a crying child along when you know the mum is coming?

This does not sound good at all.

Keep your DD away from this man and this cult. When I was about 10 a family friend invited my younger brother and I to her church. I have never been so scared in my life. They said we were all wicked and were praying for us all to die asap so we could meet God sooner and throwing themselves on the ground speaking in tongues. When I told my mother, she banned us from going there ever again and would not let us go to this woman's house again without her being there. For a long time after I was certain I was going to die because they had prayed for it.

Your daughter is not old enough to be making social arrangements without you being involved. He over stepped the line by trying to take her home despite the fact that you'd said you were picking her up.

And he sounds very odd for sitting in the driveway of your house for half an hour without knocking on the door.

I would distance my family from this person. It might be completely innocent and he's just a bit, erm, intense, BUT over stepping the boundaries just once is once too often when it comes to the safety of my child and respecting our way of parenting.

my mum attends church every week and she is one of the most selfless people i know. she is always putting other people first.

also, i wouldn't be happy leaving my child at a house with a dog til i had seen how the family are with the dog. some people don't use common sense when it comes to dogs and small children.

YANBU I think he sounds like a right nutter!

YANBU This man is weird.

It's really creepy that he seems so keen on getting your DD along to his church, and doesn't seem to want you involved.

Ick.

When I replied yesterday, I was vaguely wondering 'is the OP in the US'? Because here in the UK it'd be really unusual for someone to invite other peoples kids to a church-based activity, certainly not without clearing it explicitly with the parents first.

Which is probably one of the reasons so many of us Brits think it sounds like a cult whereas in the US I guess its tolerably mainstream?

Still wouldn't touch this guy's church with a bargepole if I was you, from his behaviour.

He sounds mental. Berating you for something you had no knowledge of, and wandering off with your DD just scream completely self-absorbed to me. If your DD enjoyed the activity / wants to be friends with his DD you could speak to the organisers and say that you will bring her and collect her - they should perhaps know / be warned about his behaviour!

MadamDeathStare - yes, I didn't mean SB was a cult - rather the whole thing probably comes across even weirder here than it would in the US.

"Women cannot be in authority over men" ? that explains why he was so angry and aggressive then.

A mere woman telling him what to do. the very idea!

I agree with everyone - keep your daughter away from this organisation! And him.

Sorry for the long absence ladies. I was sleeping when most of you posted (yep, in the US) and then I've been at work all day.

This isn't a cult any more than your average church would be. Southern Baptist is a very widespread denomination, although the individual churches vary and some can be more odd than others.

I am a Christian myself, although terribly liberal ^in my ideas and interpretations by comparison to many around me.

I do live in the US, in a southern state.

I have no idea why my phone keeps sticking the in the word ^in.

People do attend bible studies at churches they aren't members of. I don't feel like it, and I am not even close to being a Baptist so feel it wouldn't serve me well. And I don't feel like it. I'm a pretty lapsed Christian right now.

I am nt against pit bulls. But I would prefer to know that they are ^in a house before my DD goes there. And frankly, I would want to supervise my DD around large dogs anyhow. There aren't any dangerous dog laws around here, and pit bulls and Akitas are extremely fashionable at the moment.

I have spoken to her school and they know that no one but myself, dh or one of the people on her emergency pickup list are to take her from school. Dh works ^in law enforcement and they have been notified as well.

It isn't extraordinary for kids to invite each other to this activity. Ite called Awanas, and is done at a myriad of churches across the country. I've gone to it as a child myself. It's really a lot of fun, and I wouldn't mind her going but for this nutter who seems to think he has a right to make decisions for me and my child. I've just explained to her that as she already does gymnastics on Fridays, I can't really afford to send her to Awanas as well.

That's another thing! This Wednesday thing costs money, and he ne'er even spoke to me about it!

I wonder how I managed to put "in the US" into italics on accident?

Certainly socially incompetent and his forceful I-know-best-because-I'm-tuned-into-God attitude, presented under the guise of being helpful, is incredibly irritating and stifling. Often the sort who need telling point blank and then go off in an offended huff, saddened by your ungodliness.

(Can you guess I have a fundamentalist Christian aunt and uncle who felt compelled to warn me of their dream where I was walking near a fiery pit?)

My phone is possessed. I swear, I didn't type "ne'er"!

How's he been this week? Have you managed to avoid the weirdo?