to never want to "do" Christmas?

[Rococorita]

I'm 39 and have never held Christmas at my own home, ie cooked a turkey and had the family over. I've always gone to my mum's or MILs, and this year my sister's. They love doing it - I love them doing it. It's a win-win, isn't it?

AIBU to hope I can get through my entire life this way?

If everybody is happy, then why mess with it? YANBU

YANBU... if they keep inviting you and aren't bothered that you don't invite them back then you'll probably get away with it. Just make sure you take plenty of goodies with you and offer to chip in on the grocery bill. Freeloading can become irritating...

YANBU i dont dread it but cant say i look forward to it either,though mostly at my house so fair bit of work involved,like chil said take plenty and offer to help,and long may it continue for you

I hate that there's so much pressure from the media (especially those arsing M&S adverts) on women to be this amazing master of ceremonies, like you're not a real woman if you don't love the idea of making your own stuffing or whatever.

Am I missing out though? Is it actually fun? Will I regret not doing it while my kids were small?

Oh, and what are best things to take with in your experience???

I happen to like cooking so Christmas is my 'Cup Final' :) This year I'm hosting it at my house so yesterday evening I was cooking chutneys and relishes & this weekend I'm making puddings... not because of pressure from the media but just because it's the kind of thing I enjoy doing anyway.

You don't have to make your own stuffing, of course or even go with traditional food. One of my friends goes with a 'eat as you please' buffet. Another gets all her stuff from M&S ready-made. As long as there's something fairly festive to eat on the table and as long as you buy a few crackers & serve plenty of booze then you can tailor it to fit.

What to take? Ask your host so you don't mess up their menu planning Otherwise anything expensive. Wine, champagne, good chocolates, nice cheeses & biscuits.

If they enjoy cooking and you enjoy being cooked for it sounds fine, Just ensure you contribute by taking some champagne etc. as Christmas is an expensive meal to cater for.

Thanks Chil. Have a good day!

FWIW you might appreciate this when it all gets too much:

download the MP3 here: www.electriclabel.net/viv/xmas.mp3
or listen to a stream here:

YANBU. Wish I could do the same.

Hope you at least offer to help clear up so the person who did all the cooking doesn't get landed with the pots as well (that is the point at which I usually want to cry!)

"They love doing it"

I think YAB a little bit U.

I have cooked Christmas lunch every year for 25 years - long before I was married or had children. Yes I quite like doing it but I certainly don't love it and I could do with a year (or five) off. It's not the cooking I mind, but all the shopping and cleaning etc etc. Everyone assumes I love it and that it's such a joy - and I don't like to whinge, and no, I don't hate doing it, so on it goes. And no one offers to take over.

It particularly bugs me that everyone smiles knowingly and says 'she loves doing it' and then seems to use that as an excuse A)Not really to appreciate the huge job it is and B) Not to offer to do it themselves.

So if I were you, I'd offer to have Christmas at yours. If they truly "love" having it at their place, then they'll turn you down.

YANBU, I was once in your position and I loved it.

Fast forward 25 years, FIL has sadly passed away, Mil has dementia so it is always down to me.

Two DDs and their partners 3 GDDs and my DS and MIL that complains she hasn't been fed all day, when she hasn't stopped eating.

It is utter chaos.

Enjoy yours while it lasts

amumm, you have made me think. I am so sorry you haven't had a Christmas off in 25 years.

I genuinely believe they would turn me down because they know they would have a crap time/meal at my house though. Maybe I will suggest we go out instead...

Thanks everyone.

holyShmoley i LOVE that idea!

Can you peel? Sprout/potato/carrot/parsnip peeling is my least favourite job at Christmas and any rellies that step up to the plate and offer to help out are rewarded with a glass of something to help the job along. Have good memories of sitting around kitchen table, peeling, chatting and getting steadily drunk!

You could offer to host Christmas at your place but if your relatives know they'll get a crap meal they can help with do the dinner.

You could help with peeling veggies and clearing up around them, and keeping everyone's glasses topped up.