to think, when I see overweight people at the gym...

[TrillianAstra]

... "well done you"

I am very patronising, aren't I? But I think it must be hard. So I am impressed. It's easy to go to the gym if you are all pert and muscley in your tank top. (I am somewhere in between)

(and nyeer to anyone who thought I would be thinking nasty things)

Kerry there are a couple of old guys like that at my gym. Lift loads of weight but big bellies too.

DW used to go to the gym with her friend. DW no make up and would go hard on treadmill. Friend, full face of make up and hardly above slow walk on treadmill. Spent all the time looking around hoping people would see her. Sad.

and on this very thread we have a great example of why many fat people are too scared to go to a gym.

Because of the sneering.

Forget that it's physically hard to exercise when you're fat. You can do as much as you can do.

Slim people in gyms (not everyone but enough to make it a 'culture' - iyswim ) look at fat people like dirt. Sneer and laugh.

And knowing that makes it a scary place to go if you're fat.

Funny, isn't it. If you're fat and not exercising, you get sneered at. If you're fat and exercising, you get sneered at.

Exactly what are you supposed to do?

a) build a time machine and go back to some point in your life when you were slim and start knocking food from your hand?

b) become a scientist and find a cure for whatever is contributing to your weight problem (if something is - eg pcos, thyroid)

c) stay in the house all day, watching jeremy vile, so you don't cause normal people the trauma of being forced to see you

d) stop eating, start using your bottom stair as a stairmaster and only go out to go to the gym once you are already slim and don't need it?

Brilliant post Hecate

Thinking you can get away with an unreasonable generalisation by sticking 'most' or 'some' in front of it is really not going to fly. Those of you who've tried that - would you also say 'most' women do x, 'most' black people do y, 'most' gay people do z? Or would that make you look narrowminded and unpleasant.....

I agree TLD - much better to have legs in proportion. Are your arms-only guys not getting red in the face from their lifting? If not then they're not even doing that properly!

Have come down this morning and realised that I am being unfair because I am not thinking 'well done' to all the other people who are still finding it bloody hard to go to the gym (physical and/or mental reasons), even if they are not obviously overweight.

Whoever said 'If I were xxxx I wouldn't need to go to the gym' - you would if you wanted to stay that way!

Btw gym clothes are unflattering to everyone, I find.

Well, I am going to be dead honest.
And I am only realizing now, when I am exercising, funnily. I was fat because I was lazy and overeating. I loved chocolate, and cakes, and sitting on mumsnet. I had deluded myself that I was eating very little for a very long time, which was true, until I added chocolate and icecream.

And it IS hard to jump around in an hour long zumba class with a body as heavy as mine. I am streaming with sweat, puffing and panting, red in my face, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and think "Oh Boy what a small head on that big body"

And gymclothes do NOT look flattering on a larger, dough like shape. Come ON! black lycra with fluorescent pink or turquoise? Saying it is to do with self perception? Sure it is, but it a very apt one!

But, I should add, I have massive strength. Having climbed several peaks this summer, I can beat the lot of them in hour long uphill endurance, I bet. (at least that is what I like to think....)

Good post Hecate.

Know what? I'd rather be the fatso in my trackies and t-shirt than the guy in the two small lycra top and very disturbingly sticky out nipples.

People ain't looking at me - they're looking at Mr Nipples. Seriously - you cannot un-see.

Oh, there is one thing I really do want to say out loud, to all women at the gym:

get a SPORTS bra

a proper one

otherwise one day your norks will just jiggle right off your chest and go bouncing away

"How did they get to be that size?"

When you look at me, you see a fat size 18 middle-aged woman. Haw haw, lazy bitch, who ate all the pies then?

What you DON'T see is the Plantar Fasciitis in my feet which means I'm in agony after walking for 30 minutes.

Or the sub-acromial decompression in my left shoulder, which means steroid injections and large doses of anti-inflammatories just so I can sleep through the pain. Or the rheumatism which is developing in my right hand and elbow. No more swimming for me .

Or the IBS, which is exacerbated by the painkillers I have to take and requires drugs and particular diet to manage. Hunger pangs (an inevitable side-effect of dieting) can trigger appalling stomach cramps.

I was a perfectly acceptable "normal" weight for 90% of my adult life (BMI 21-22).

It's only in the last 3 years, with the advent of peri-menopause and my current health problems that the weight has crept up.

Next time you want to pull on your judgy-pants, just ask yourself - how would YOU deal with my health problems and stay a size 10?

I'm a regular runner.

About five years ago in January ( must have been her NY resolution) I started seeing a really hugely overweight woman power walking. She must have been a dress size 24-26.

She would have to stop every few minutes and people did laugh at her.

Over the months she started being able to run a little - and by the summer she'd easily dropped to a size 18 or so.

Now, five years on, when I see her she sprints past me - I'd say she's a trim size 12 with the sort of toned legs and arse most women would kill for.

Linford Christie looked alright to me...

Wonder how many women trying to make changes to themselves the nasty judgypants crew have scared away from the gym? Gotta be a few.

And since when is it EVER fair to laugh at people for trying? I've had it happen to me, it's mentioned a few posts up too... how many people's confidence has that shredded and stopped them going?

I've had a pair of nasty bitches (the type that never actually DO anything at the gym, just drape themselves over machines and eyeball the blokes) shove me out of the way of stuff and mutter how I shouldn't be allowed to be in there - trouble for them is that I've got much sharper elbows and a sharper tongue than they will ever have. I've had a nice bunch of brats laugh and point as I've gone into the building... lots of crap like that.

How did I get to be the size I am? How did you get to be the ugly personality you are?

Well, I do think "good for you!" when I see larger people in the gym- not because I am pleased that they are doing something to get healthier, but because I admire the fact that they know there will be people there with a sneery attitude and crack on regardless- that shows strength of character in my book.

And yes, I've been big. Was always quite fit, had a horrible pregnancy with dd1 and found myself 5 stone heavier afterwards than I am today. I know how daunting it can be- the temptation is to say "I'll go back to gym once I have lost another stone"..

Now I reserve my contempt at the gym for the people who wear make-up and fancy gear and do no work whatsoever! I resent them taking up a place in an oversubscribed class or hogging a machine for 30mins while they chat to their mate. I don't go to the gym to look good- I go to work, to get red, sweaty and unattractive- go pose somewhere else! There are a couple of overweight women I know who come to my classes/ gym regularly and they could run rings round the unfit (but cute) 18yo's, who come and giggle through each session. (disclaimer: I have no truck with slim people- just the lazy ones who don't want their mascara to run!)

waves heres me 3 stone overweight, got 4 month old baby, forever been fat
overweight. call it my genetics, call it my laziness. i eat incredibly healthily...yet i love the odd naughties too!!

im off to take inspiration from my 55 yr old father in law -a triathlete and ironman successor- and going for my first ever jog.

think what ya all like, 'good for you!' or 'look at the state of that'. personally im doing it for ME ... not others. but if u do see me, just smile and say hello nothing else is needed.

Hecate I love you. :)

The only gym I have ever felt comfortable in was at Curves, because there was none of the usual posturing and no mirrors!! I mean seriously.. even slim people look like hell while exercising, who wants to see themselves like that??

Wont go in other gyms, hate the looks on the faces. I know they are sat thinking "what a fat cow, how did she let herself get that big?", because it would pain them to be friendly and find out about what actually caused it.

Mirrors are useful on the rowing machine - you can see if your back is hunched. In our gym they have just moved the machines around and now you can't see yourself any more, it's really annoying.

Why is it easier for a pert little skinnie than for a fattie. I think it's harder when you are not fit - and fat doesn't mean not fit.

Bloody hell - I was measured for my fat ratio years ago and it was over 30% - yet I was under 7.5 stone - I was fit and slim but actually I was FAT so probably not very healthy.

15 years on I'm a dress size bigger but not overweight - probably a better weight now - and I hate the thought of going to the gym as I think my heart won't take it!

I never took any notice of anyone at the gym - had my music on and did my thing.

Gyms are for everyone - I'd say get your heart nice and fit and not worry too much about what you look like.

giveitago - 30% is healthy for an adult female.

I think its great. I wish I had the guts. I am too scared of the machinery. In case I go A over T