to think, when I see overweight people at the gym...

[TrillianAstra]

... "well done you"

I am very patronising, aren't I? But I think it must be hard. So I am impressed. It's easy to go to the gym if you are all pert and muscley in your tank top. (I am somewhere in between)

(and nyeer to anyone who thought I would be thinking nasty things)

Um, I am overweight and if I had time to go went to the gym, I would feel very patronised by someone thinking - well done you, you have peeled your fat arse of the sofa.

I know I need to lose weight. It would be very smug though for a total stranger to pay attention to my efforts to do something about it with their "How HARD it must be to lug that extra 2 stone about" thing.

Booyhoo Who assumed? 'getting motivated when you are self conscious about your body is even harder' - that would be you then wouldn't it? Fat people must be self conscious right?

Sweaty Betty gym clothes are very flattering.

and if you read my first post you will have noticed i said " it must be very hard for some people if they are conscious about their weight".

nowhere did i say that all fat people are self conscious. ffs.

I am 3 stone overweight. I am trying to get fitter by walking and a bit of running. I was a member of a council gym for a while - which was ok but the slimmer people giving it loads made me feel self -conscious.
If anyone had said to me "well done" I would have felt Incredibly patronised. Encouragement would be people commenting that I had lost weight - not managed to haul my backside to a gym.

I want to go to your gym!!

I hated the looks I got at the gym, just made me not want to go. I don't find it patronising, I find it quite reassuring that not all people are looking at me and thinking "eurgh"

Anothernewname, but you're not being deceitful. Remember the early post-natal days of sweating off the extra water your body was carrying? I think I typically lost half a stone in one week of night sweats. Not to mention that our hearts work harder in high temperatures. So you're going to the gym to lose weight AND doing cv (ahem) 'exercise' at the same time!

Look the over-riding impression BOTH your posts have given me is that you do expect overweight people to feel crap about themselves. I don't see any need to make assumptions about anyone and I think there is a sub-text running through this thread - of the sad, unhealthy fat person - who would be pleased to receive validation from the op. It's a patronising conclusion based a flawed assumptions and it ticks me off.

NL I find excercise hard, I find it hard to get motivated, I would find it even harder to go to a gym specifically because i know there will be people tehre who are fit and healthy and know what they are doing. i didn't say "fat people must find it so hard" i said "some people". I am most certainly not assuming that all over weight people feel crap abput themselves.

Ok then.

As someone who is still carrying 1.5 stone of babyweight (lost 1 stone in last 6 weeks!) - didn't want to start diet until he was on solids at 6 months since am BFing). I think you are being a little patronising!

I was 2.5 stone over pre-pregnancy weight (which was healthy weight) and was borderline obese based both on BMI and body fat %. My Dad who is GP told me that I was putting myself at risk of becoming diabetic, plus other health issues.

When I see people in the gym who are very fat (ie clearly obese) I think why don't you value your health....

mumNWlondon, surely if you see obese people in the gym the are valuing their health?

"As someone who is still carrying 1.5 stone of babyweight (lost 1 stone in last 6 weeks!) - didn't want to start diet until he was on solids at 6 months since am BFing). I think you are being a little patronising!

..

When I see people in the gym who are very fat (ie clearly obese) I think why don't you value your health...."

Um...

See this sort of 'thought' is exactly what is putting me off from going to the gym. I still have 1.5 - 2 stone to lose before I reach my goal weight, I have lost 4 stone so far and really need up the exercise to shift the last stubborn bit. But people don't know how far I have come so far. And to think that someone who is rather fit behind me is thinking "Aww bless, look at that chubby girl sweating her arse off, good for her!" and giving me sympathetic glances when I keel over gasping for breath honestly really, really puts me off.

IME an extra stone or even two stone is not particularly noticeable if you wear loose fit t-shirt and tracksuit trousers. So if you only have that to loose then no one will think look at the fat person when they see you.

Its the people who are several stone overweight that I think do they not value their health - what I mean is how did they get to be that size? Yes of course good that they are dealing with it now. Besides which I have been going to the gym for 10 years. I see the same people, some are still overweight.

I meant before that I knew I was overweight for 6 months but didn't want to diet too agrresively whilst still BFing hence why its taken me 6 months to be dealing with it.

The one I go to can seem to be a bit snobby and cliquey, you know the type £100 hair, latest everything and convertables/4 x 4 in the car park. However except for a few members it is very welcoming IF YOU make some effort to talk to people (ask questions).

It can seem insular but that is only because the members know each other.

We had a newbie about 18 months ago, about size 14 desperate to get to a size 10, she is now a well fit 10, appears to be 10 years younger. She said to me when she first came in "I thought people were judging me but once i got to know them they were great and helpful and I have made some great friends"

I don't feel bad at the gym, apart from being out of breathe and in pain. If I was fit and adonis like, I wouldn't NEED the gym.

"Its the people who are several stone overweight that I think do they not value their health - what I mean is how did they get to be that size? "

So thinking "good on them" is patronising, but "how did they get to that size?" is ok?

Oh that we were all so perfect MumNWLondon

MumNWLondon, without meaning to sound like I'm picking on you... Why do you care whether someone else values their health or not? How do their choices matter to you? If it's cos your taxes pay for their healtcare, why not write to your local MP and ask for a refund?

TLD the gym is how you get and keep in good shape.

mumNWlondon, you do know that some people will always carry weight and that some people will always be thin and others will fluctuate throughout their lives. the isn't a generic weight that people should or can be. people's weight is influenced by their genetics. that's why my mum is exactly teh same shape as her 5 sisters and my dad is exactly the same build as his 6 brothers.

newwave, really? I didn't know that, thanks.

My point was, that there is no need to feel self conscious if you are overweight in the gym. It's the reason you are going, after all.

TLD/Rockbird unfair on NWM she has a point. No one now is unaware of what causes weight gain most (note the most please) fat people are fat because they over eat, eat crap, and dont exercise.

"fat people are fat because they over eat, eat crap, and dont exercise."

Of course, how silly of me for thinking my weight had something to do with PCOS and a long term back problem which has left me bedridden for the best part of two years. I should have known it was because I was a lazy, greedy slob.