To feel saddened by this -what are we coming to

[nikos]

A couple we know wanted cash only for wedding presents, stated it in the wedding invite. Found that was not to my taste but did it anyway. Have now found out that they have said to the grandmother of their kids to just put money in the kids bank account for Christmas and buy 'a little gift' if they want. Is this a generational thing as this couple are in their mid twenties? I just find it all so grasping and sad and unmagical. Anyone else had this?

I don't get why people are offended by 'evening only' invites either - if you have a lot of friends who you would like to share your celebrations with, you might simply not be able to afford a formal meal for all of them, whereas an informal evening party costs a lot less per head and is still fun.
WHat I do think is rude, though, is to invite some guests to both the ceremony and the evening party but not the afternoon lunch bit of the day - had this happen to me once. The couple were friends of my then-DP; the wedding was in Bristol (we both lived in London) so we had to get a train down there, attend the wedding, then hang around in Bristol (him, me and half a dozen others in the same position) for about 5 hours. ANd to make matters worse, Bristol then pretty much shut on a Saturday afternoon, so we had a grim time finding somewhere that was actually open, where we could get ourselves a meal.

That's pretty rude, SGB.

I think I'd have declined that invite.

"I don't get why whiners complain so much about people expecting gifts at weddings/birthdays, when unless you are a cave-dwelling primitive you must be aware that it is traditional to give gifts on these occasions. So it's hardly unreaasonable of people to be aware that others are going to ask them what they want for a gift."

I still think it's polite to wait until you're asked though, before you start saying what you want!

Expat (shrugs) at the time I thought ooh, day out and a new frock, it was only when the reality of plodding round a shut town in heels on a freezing cold day set in that I got the hump with it...

'Expat (shrugs) at the time I thought ooh, day out and a new frock, it was only when the reality of plodding round a shut town in heels on a freezing cold day set in that I got the hump with it...'

I'd have gone and had a liquid lunch and showed up at that evening do absolutely slaughtered :o.

COuldn't find anywhere to get slaughtered . That;s what I meant by 'Bristol was shut'. No pubs, no caffs... we eventually found a Pizza Hut as I recall.

That blows! I've gotten slaughtered in a Pizza Hut, but it didn't come cheap.