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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want my last weekend of peace?

14 replies

Catspersonalbanker · 14/11/2010 16:38

This weekend was to be my last weekend where I could have time for me before DC1 arrives.
DH is away for work and I'd arranged to see my Mum on Friday so I could have Sat and Sun to myself.

Yet yesterday I get a phonecall and then a visit from Mum and sister for 2 hours and then again this afternoon.
I mean FFS I am 34 and was really looking forward to having some peace.

I feel like my last opportunity to have my own space has been taken away with their insistance that I must want their company. This has really upset me.

Over reaction?

Thanks

OP posts:

Longtalljosie · 14/11/2010 16:46

Why did you let them go on for two hours? Could you not have said you needed the loo or something?

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 14/11/2010 16:47

I think unless you told them that you wanted some time for you then yes, yabu. They are not mind-readers!

Galena · 14/11/2010 16:47

Could you not have explained that you were looking forward to your last weekend of peace? I'm sure they just didn't want you feeling alone in case something had happened, but surely you could have said no?

Original poster

Catspersonalbanker · 14/11/2010 16:51

Thanks for the reply Longtailjosie.

They phoned and said they had stuff for the baby and would I like to go over to my Mums. I did try to deflect them by saying I had a bad back and they'd have to come over instead.Both are allergic to the cat so I thought that they might postpone- no such luck.

Don't get me wrong, I know they mean well but my Mum has been quite ill this year and maybe now I'm more hormonal/ sensitive I noticed that I am being used as her emotional crutch.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 14/11/2010 16:51

It's nice they wanted to see you, perhaps they thought you needed keeping an eye on

Did you tell them you were looking forward to some peace and quiet? If you didn't you can't really blame them.

FWIW, and I might be a bit weird, but I found it easier having the baby at home than being hugely pregnant, at least you can get out of your chair and pick stuff up from the floor, and lots of babies sleep loads.

TidyBush · 14/11/2010 16:57

YANBU. I feel you pain, I had a planned induction wiht DD1 and had my last day at home on my own planned so that I could get the last of the housework/ironing out of the way and then have a lovely afternoon to myself.

Until SIL decided to visit with her 3yo and 1yo DCs for the whole afternoon. That was not very restfull.

I'm still bitter disappointed about it and it was 16 years ago.

TidyBush · 14/11/2010 16:58

Sorry about the crap typos

pointydog · 14/11/2010 16:59

When they phoned, you should have said no. Said you were about to have a bath or something.

Be firm, woman!

DoodlingPomBear · 14/11/2010 16:59

I do know how you feel, but it won't be your last op to be on your own and once your baby comes you won't want to be! Put it down to hormones! I know how you feel though as my parents phoned at midday and asked if we wanted to go for lunch (very kind but they didn't have anything to give all of us ) and then invited themselves over for tea, at which point I did say that I would call them back about it. Ooops. I find that as dh commutes a great deal i want the four of us to spend time as a family!

Mind you, once the baby does come and you are on your one with a newborn having not spoken to an adult all day you will be gagging for them to come over . Sods law init!

AllGoodNamesGone · 14/11/2010 17:01

I am sure they meant well and I think you should have explained that you had planned a quiet day and were looking forward to it and would go and get the baby stuff on Monday. Not everyone enjoys their own company and they probably thought you were bored on your own and would enjoy their visit.

I love nothing more than a day in the house by myself, not haivn to think about what to feed anyone else etc etc (was pretty gutted in the summer when some relatives decided to visit just at a time I had managed to secure a bit of peace - though it was nice to see them, they picked the worst day!) so I do sympathise.

DoodlingPomBear · 14/11/2010 17:01

Tidybush - that was because it was a SIL and not your own family. Have no problem now telling my side to get lost, il's still a problem as don't want to be rude!

TidyBush · 14/11/2010 17:02

DoodlingPomBear it's not a problem any more as she is now Ex SIL and I haven't seen her for 8 years

Original poster

Catspersonalbanker · 14/11/2010 17:03

Its nice that they want to see me but between now and Christmas DH and I are helping them out nearly every weekend so I will get to see them plenty.

Next weekend we are helping with their new kitchen, then the following Friday a Christmas shopping trip etc

I was just hoping that I could have had time to myself to just not have to deal with anyone else and thats why I thought that Friday would give me that space. Surely as an adult who has made an effort with another person the doesn't have to spend all their free time ether with them on on the end of the phone to them?

Don't feel like I've had much space lately. I feel like everyone is watching me and telling me what to do and although i've been ignoring it, I just want my own space and am really upset that I won't get this time back.

I really feel like just heading off and booking myself into a hotel next weekend to try and recoup this space that I crave.

Just my hormones?

OP posts:

DoodlingPomBear · 14/11/2010 18:41

Well do it then. Sorry not meant to be harsh sounding but go for it, go away, pamper yourself in a hotel and do nothing! I appreciate you helping them out BUT you shouldn't be doing their kitchen or the xmas shopping! Just go, it will be a while before you can do anything spontaneously like that! Perhaps your sis can help out with you parents?

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