I am a bit miffed with DH's friend

[bran]

A friend (ex-colleague) of DH's asked if he could use our flat in London (or possibly he told DH he was visiting and DH offered, I'm unclear on that). DH says that he warned his friend that the flat was being painted and so friend should use whichever of the bedrooms was least smelly.

So, friend arrived at the flat on Thursday evening and on Friday refused to allow the decorators to finish off (they only had a day's worth left). Decorators contacted me and were polite, but not particularly pleased. Fortunately they can go back on Monday and finish it.

AIBU to think this is a bit of a cheek on DH's friend's part? I can understand not wanting to stay somewhere that is being painted, but if he felt that strongly about it he could have stayed somewhere else.

disgusting behaviour but check with DH firsts that he didn't give approval

then bill him for additional decorator costs

If he knew the painters had not finished and would be still working there on the Friday, he behaved badly. But then honestly, why choose to stay there?

Perhaps he was not aware they would be working during his stay (somehow didn
t twig?) and didn't want them in there with his things in the flat.

What does dh think of it all?

Bit of a cheek, I'd say, to send them away.

Do you think it was a misunderstanding?

YANBU ing behaviour

could it be your dh actually offered use of the flat and said it is being decorated so may still stink of paint when you're there but if that doesn't obther you, you're welcome to stay.

Does that sound like him?

"Friend" being a nob though. Did they charge you extra?

hrd to understand what I meant, sorry

I meant did he say it was being decorated but possibly gave the impression it would be finsihed, yet the smell would linger? So this man was not expecting any workers during his stay

If that had been me, I would have been furious with friend and rung him at the flat straight away and told him that the decorators were coming back - if he didn't like it he could go but that it wasn't for him to send your decorator away from your flat!

Bet he'd got somebody there and got plans for a dirty weekend without decorators there to stuff his plans!

It doesn't matter if he was expecting the painters or not... it was bloody rude.

If it's not costing you any more then I think I would let it go, but I would tell DH that if his friend asks again - tell him to sod off.

But tbh, even if he thought it would be finished, why did he think it was up to him to turn the decorators away?

Whata strange thing to do.

DH is renowned for being unclear, but swears that his friend was told that the decorators would be finishing off while he was there. It's not impossible for the friend to have misunderstood as Malaysians in general and DH in particular are never direct and euphemise and obfusticate when there is no reason to do so. I'm used to DH now so tend to use barrister-style questionning to pin the details down.

It doesn't help at all that DH lost his mobile a couple of weeks ago and hasn't replaced it, so he can't be contacted. Otherwise I would have had him phone his friend. (DH is really enjoying not having a mobile, he says it's very peaceful. He thinks he can give people my number and I can pass a message on. I have been telling anyone who phones for him that they have a wrong number. )

Fortunately the decorators aren't going to charge extra, but I'm sure they would have preferred to know that they couldn't work yesterday in advance.

Oooh, I hadn't considered that he might be up to no good. I doubt it though, there are plenty of DH's friends that you can't trust at all but this one is pretty dull and holy straight.

One thing that did occur to me was that he may be there with his wife and if she is pregnant but not at the stage of telling anyone yet she might find the smell nauseating. But that's a bit of a stretch TBH, and even if that is the case why wouldn't they stay somewhere else?

How staggeringly rude

if he knew tehre was going to be paint smells,(decorators finished or not) he surely wouldn't have been bringing his wife anyway.

regardless. he was out of line. he should have contacted you and asked if he was to let them in or not. it wasn't up to him.

no it isn't about the pregnant wife

why would he want her staying in a flat that smells of fresh paint? He is just a cheapskate and a nob and staying there because it is free. I like you nailing this Malaysian dh of yours barrister style.

Aaaaggggh MadamDeathstare - now I have to bleach my brain to get rid of that image. He would have to bring his own porn with him though as we only have Freeview.