My DSis, who lives in the US, has recently had a baby.
Throughout her pregnancy she's said that she would like my mother or me to come and visit after the baby's born. My mother won't go because she hates travelling alone, doesn't cope with jetlag, and doesn't like where my DSis lives. Even now that the baby's been born, she still doesn't want to go.
So I've booked tickets to go for a week by myself in early December, and DH has gone spare. We've been arguing talking about this for the last nine months, and I know why he doesn't want me to go, but I think he's being a selfish pig. Today he told me that if I go our marriage is in jeopardy, that I'm a selfish mother, and the children (24mos and 3.8yrs) will have a terrible week without me.
The trouble with his arguments is that I think he's being so unreasonable that divorce at this precise moment doesn't seem such a bad idea (I haven't had a chance to calm down yet), and that of the two of us I am not the selfish one because I'm not the one who sleeps through every noise the DC make, or who ignores them to watch TV, or who plays on his iPhone while they're clamouring for his attention, or who leaves everything regarding the DC to his wife.
I agree that the DC probably won't take my absence very well (DS2 is going through a phase of howling every time I go to the loo), but there would be a better chance of it if DH were positive about it. And DH undermines his argument in that regard because I sometimes have to travel for work, and he has no complaints about me needing to be away for a week if necessary. Because it's work, and that's more important than my DSis.
In RL my friends all think my DH is BU, but he, his parents and my mother (who probably thinks I'm showing her up) all think that I am. I still have three weeks before I need to get on a plane but I've lost all sense of perspective on this - hence this overlong post - and would appreciate some input from some people who don't have a vested interest in the outcome of my decision. Thanks.