To not have 'alternative childcare'

[strawberrycake]

My 5 m/o is on antibiotics for a chest infection, a one week course. Poor thing is pretty rough. Nursery won't have him back until 48hrs after the course finishes.

This means time off work until then. I have no other childcare. No family or friends that don't work to take him, I have never left him with anyone but dh as there is simply noone. Surely this is fairly common.

DH could take time off but we work together so however we do it the school is down. It's easier for the school for me to be off, I don't mind either. We have noone else as I said.

Someone implied today that everyone who works should have 'alternative childcare'. AIBU to think she is simply smug as she has family to take her kids if they are ill. What is 'alternative childcare' apart from being lucky in having family members to step in?

My old company had a rule that you could take 1 day for a sick child but had to use that day to organise alternative childcare - my parents lived 4 hours away (and worked) and my only friends at home had kids of their own who wouldn't want DD's tummy bug etc! Plus when ill they want mummy.

I now work in a school which is really good about it but I have been advised to say I'm ill if she has too many bouts of illness.

so far I've had one day for me and one day when cm's some was ill - I told work DD was ill!

I am SAHM, and DH works. He has had to take unpaid leave for a day or two here and there when one or both of the DSs have been ill. He recently took a day off because both 4yo and 1yo were feverish and throwing up. There have been a few comments about "your wife doesn't work and is home, why do you need to take the time off." Perhaps because she's already been up for over 24 hours with practically no sleep dealing with them being ill and needs to sleep herself so she doesn't get ill as well. And perhaps because our 4yo has ASD and has complete meltdowns every time he vomits - which make it very difficult for her to care for both at the same time. And perhaps because he is their FATHER and needs to be there for them (and me).

Adult DD was told by her employer that she should have "alternative childcare" for her DS as she couldn't find any over her three workdays between Christmas and New Years. The two options she had are unavailable (regular childminder closed that week and we're unable to assist her unfortunately this time). She offered to take unpaid leave or use her holiday time. The manager told her she needed to get out and get a social life so she would have more friends to leave her DS with on workdays if needed. What a stupid thing to say!

Employers/colleagues/schools are very rude about this sort of thing imo...

I've been asked many times why one of my family can't have my dc (erm, because I'm an only child and my parents both died before my DC were born..but hey thanks for reminding me I have no family!) or why I dont have 'other arrangements' in place (see above re family, other GPs work, as do all my friends).

my Ex didnt used to have time off much as he works on site and if hes not there he's not paid. So it almost always fell to me, unless I really couldnt take the time off in which case we had to take the financial hit.

Probably my worst experience was when one of my DC was taken ill at school. my CM wasn't able to collect him, so I had to come home from work which took me over an hour. Ex might have got there quicker, but at the time was working in a controlled area where they couldn't have phones on so therefore uncontactable. Resulted in huge row with school who said I should have had someone other than CM able to pick him up immediately . even better - was before I had discovered MN - went to a site I used to use to rant about it later that day and got replies along the lines of yes you should have an alternative/if you havent got an alternative you should give up your job/why would you risk working an hour away from school etc

Tbh, I think finding childcare in the first place can be hellishly difficult. its unrealistic to expect everyone to have a back up as well. Employers need to use a little give and take sometimes...

I think it is really hard to have alternative care. Sometimes people are lucky to be able to find any child care.