To not have 'alternative childcare'

[strawberrycake]

My 5 m/o is on antibiotics for a chest infection, a one week course. Poor thing is pretty rough. Nursery won't have him back until 48hrs after the course finishes.

This means time off work until then. I have no other childcare. No family or friends that don't work to take him, I have never left him with anyone but dh as there is simply noone. Surely this is fairly common.

DH could take time off but we work together so however we do it the school is down. It's easier for the school for me to be off, I don't mind either. We have noone else as I said.

Someone implied today that everyone who works should have 'alternative childcare'. AIBU to think she is simply smug as she has family to take her kids if they are ill. What is 'alternative childcare' apart from being lucky in having family members to step in?

strawberrycake - we can also ask for unpaid leave if its going to be longer. I don't know about people with fixed holidays, as I don't think there are any here.

yes, emergency child care v expensive, but I think you have to look on it as an occasional high cost that gets spread over the whole year - you wouldn't pay that every day, but if it enables you to have a job all year round then it's a worthwhile investent.

Car servicing costs more than that per hour, and probaby more than a day's childcare - but it's an occasional cost, you don't base your general car use on that every day.

Parents have the right to take unpaid leave to look after their children here.

I doubt many WOHM can afford emergency nanny rates. Many WOHM's are working on a very tight budget and have little to spare (or may be making a loss on working but putting up with it to continue their career). Paying for emergency childcare could mean no food that week in some houses.

LoveMyGirls - yes, that 's the ideal situation, but sometimes someone else will HAVE to do it it isn't possible to take time off work.

Emergency childcare is expensive - but not having any paid work in order to be available for every cough and cold is even more expensive!

It is really hard strawberry. Technically we have pils nearby who are retired and in relatively good health but I always feel to tell people that even though they may seem like an ideal option for an alternative, they won't do it. (before anyone jumps on me, I fully accept that it is their right to not babysit/look after dgc)

anyway, dh and I are kind of lucky in that I work shifts so first option is for me to swap to a shift when he is at home.

Other options are sending child (if not seriously ill) to my parents 100 miles away. Between them they work flexi/part time and would definitely help out.

An emergency type nanny would cost more than my money, but I guess in these situations one has to decide whether you need to "make a loss" for long term gain. (i.e. keep your job safe)

Sorry you are struggling with this, it's horrid. We had a taste of it last September, one ill, then the next...so it went on. At that point my mum said that they would do what it took to help for which we were massively grateful.

YADNBU. Am in same boat too.

And would feel terrible about leaving dc with someone didn't know, or possibly even did know, if they were unwell.

Blu-your car servicing example is the reason I don't run a car, or have a mobile contract/ sky/ nights out etc.

Tbh not working may actually be viable by the time childcare costs are considered. Grim, I do it for the future job I will still have when he's older.

My employer provides 10 days each year of emergency child care. You phone in the evening, and a complete stranger comes round to look after your sick child for a day or more . Needless to say, I have never used this service and just work from home.

Yanbu.
I had to use an emergency childcare agency once.

It cost an evil amount of money for three days which considering I was still paying for the initial childcare was very difficult.

It was awful because I was leaving dd with a complete stranger even albeit a referenced crb'd stranger.

Never ever again. I'd go sick, take unpaid leave, do anything other than that again.

Blu- I know some people have no choice but I'm just saying if she can manage it which this mum in particular has done then why should she have needed to find an alternative if they can cope without her?

I've had a couple of times when dh has had to take time off/ work from home with laptop and has taken dd to his mums house so I can carry on working because I'm a childminder and it's not just me who has a nightmare if I can't work but also the famillies that rely on me who have no-one else to have their dc's so I do totally understand how it is and know not everyone can have the day off at the drop of a hat without it being a major inconvience to others but sometimes it is unavoidable. I realise I'm extremely lucky to have a dh whose bosses are so flexible and that he appreciates my business is more important and takes priority.

YANBU at all, that's just how it is for many people.

I have to admit, that when DD first went to nursery, and they insisted on an extra contact on her details form (they wouldn't accept a grandparent as they live too far away), and I had already listed her father (who works out of the country much of the time but does always answer his phone) as a second contact, I had to make up a name & number to put down as I actually didn't know anyone I could ask who lived locally enough.

Alternative childcare of any kind, let alone for an ill child, is something most people don't have, they just pray it's never needed or that they could come to a compromise with work if they had to.

You may build up contacts from nursery or school, though as a working parent even that is hard if you're not around to chat at the gates.

I'd maybe be quicker to try something like pulling a favour from someone, ie begging, if he wasn't only 5m/o. I feel like going round the bend with constant coughing/ choking/ wheezing and I'm his mother. I don't know how anyone else could put up with t, even if I could leave him.

As an aside I'm getting worried something just isn't 'right' with him. Very poor weight gain, allergy to milk, special milks but still very little gain, constant coughs, pale and skinny. He's gone from the 75th to 2nd centile in weight (98th for length) and simply refused to eat. I think everyone I know would be to nervous to look after him with his track record.

Sometimes what you have to do at work is actually more important than looking after a (not very) sick child.

So if I was booked to do a one or two day Residence hearing, and the night before my ds came down with a tummy bug/ear infection/something that meant I couldn't send him to nursery, then I had to make the tough decision that he had to come second. Otherwise, my client wouldn't be represented adequately or at all, thousands of pounds worth of costs would be wasted and in theory, the court could order my firm to pay the other side's costs.

There were several times when mine were little (and ds1 had cerebral palsy, so another whole load of problems), when I had no option but to pay an emergency nanny to come out.

It's lovely if you can just take time off work to be all fluffy and lovely when your child is ill, but sadly not always possible.

I would love alternative childcare sometimes, but we do not have one either.

I agree with scoutliam, I would not leave DS on a complete stranger when he is ill and vulnerable.

LoveMyGirls I also always want my Mommy.

Would love an answer to this. Family all far away and working or ill. No reciprocal help in current area as everyone has family to help out and everyone we know has DC who they do not want sick.

The answer I usually get is other people manage, suggestion of leave them home alone(my eldest is five) or leave them with neighbors who we and DC do not know.

I am currently a SAHM but would love am desperate to get back to work and field looking at and DH fields sudden time off would be big issue and same time periods working form home not feasible.

Maybe you should be rethinking your childcare. I don't understand why your dc can't go to nursery whilst taking antibiotics. Maybe you'd be better off with a CM. Ds was on antibiotics pretty much continually until he was 4.5 yrs old. He had a weakened immune system so caught every bug going. He always went to the CM unless he was infectious - eg conjunctivitis, d&v, chicken pox etc.

If the CM had had the sort of rule your nursery does I'd be unemployed and living off benefits now!

mumblechum You have a career, and it is understandable you want to hold on to it.
I just have a job.

Also, I don't actually teach a class at the moment, only small groups. A few kids will be a little let down but my absence will not affect anyone's workload nor have a huge impact on learning with some 20min weekly sessions for SEN kids being missed. Most are too young to grasp days/ timetables well anyway and probably won't notice it not happening!

I had no idea emergency nannies or emergency childcare agency existed that took sick DC- hmm is this just in big cities?

MollieO child minder fees are much more so I guess it will balance out. I a childminder had him 7.30-5.30/6 at £7 per hour it would cost around £70+ a day, nursery is £41 per day. No contest.

£7 an hour, maybe I should move near you! I only charge £3!!

Move,in London you'd get business on double that!!!

In fact, do move! Here.

Just checked a site, my area charges are £6-£10 p/h!

Having an agency who can provide temp nannies on speed-dial. It's probably not £16 an hour that way and there are often nannies looking for work. It's whether they're completely free that day.

If you HAVE to work and can trust yourself to do a phone interview, ring references and they bring all their certificates etc in the morning for you to check then it's doable via Gumtree, netmums etc - I've done it as a nanny and I would have cost you about £8/hour at the time.