to think Ed Milliband should have married his partner before having their 2nd child?

[Gooftroop]

One child, fine. Maybe it was a surprise, these things happen, marriage is so yesterday, no problem. But to go on building a family without legally committing himself to his partner ... I am unimpressed. AIBU?

Op, u have a cock for a brain and you know it.

Eleison, I don't cook Christmas dinner either

I really am a Failure as a Woman, aren't I.

Damsel
I have never actually tried Creme de Menthe but it does sound more sophisticated that Bailey's Irish Cream, which was my mother's favourite drink in the 70s.

Or Martini Bianco.

I do Xmas lunch. But no sprouts.

I'm doing Christmas lunch for the first time this year. We're not having turkey or sprouts.

Take my word for it, creme de menthe is horrible stuff. I think you should break out the Babysham. My gran used to drink Brandy and Babysham.

marantha I share the unromantic view on marriage, but am afraid that I disagree on the baggage thing. Marriage has been around a long time and brings with it a lot of issues - these can be ignored but they are still there, are an intrinsic part of the ceremony and how married couples are treated by individuals and by society.

And like the idea of Sir Passthechocs lol

I think the major issue with the debate about research practices is...oooh, vol au vents. And cheese and pineapple. Marvellous. Oh I don't really... Well OK if you're sure......sorry you were saying?

people are confusing weddings, with marriage.

• weddings are about publically signalling commitment.

• marriage is about legal protection for children and financially poorer partner.

you can have one without the other: hindus, muslims, quakers, methodists, witches, jedi knights all have wedding ceremonies which do NOT result in a legal marriage (they have to go to the registry office for that)

you can get married without any public display at all - just go to the registry office, pay your fee and get married. no one even need know.

marriage is about a legal contract, mainly financial. Avoiding a wedding is for emotional reasons. Avoiding marriage is almost always for financial reasons.

Oh, and creme de menthe always sounds disgusting. Haven't drunk Baileys since my mums baileys actually set in the bottle. Make mine an advocaat.

I think the OP wants your description of 'weddings' rather than 'marriage' in Ed's case, stubbornhubby. She's annoyed that Ed hasn't made a public declaration.

Are they mushroom vol-au-vents Unruly?

When I was in primary 6 our class staged a fake wedding. One of the dishes available at the buffet was mushroom vol-au-vents.

Thanks for telling us what we think, Stubbornhubby [sceptical].

Marriage is not solely a legal contract, in this country certainly. See Gay40's point about how it differs from a civil ceremony - I suspect I wouldn't object much to a civil ceremony myself, and support the heterosexual couple which is pressing for one.

I do avoid marriage for 'emotional' - if by that you wish to sum up my political position as well - reasons.

I agree.

It's disgraceful. Horsewhip the young puppy and hang him out to dry. Egad.

maybe it is the religious bit she is not happy about. I think only men are allowed to initiate a jewish divorce, not women. That would put me off.

passthechocs Yes, but of course, married people are treated differently to single/cohabiting people.
A married couple have made a statement that they wish to be seen as a legal, formal unit, therefore, they are taken at their word and treated as a unit. I don't see the problem.

As long as nobody is FORCED into marriage or had the state declare them to be 'married' because they've lived with someone (and believe me there is NOTHING fair about cohabitee rights-it is imposing marriage upon people who, had they wished those rights, would have gotten married), I don't see the issue.

Am not annoyed Ed hasn't made a public declarations. It's definitely marriage, not wedding, I talking about and he should get off his too-busy, wishy washy backside and tie the knot. He's leader of the opposition f'r chissake.

motherinferior If marriage is NOT at it's core a legal matter, then tell me why it is just the lawyers that get involved when a couple divorce and not the cake-makers, vicar, frock-maker or guests?

but gooftroop, you just want him to declare him commitment publicly enough for you to be satisfied. Perhaps he could write you a letter?

I said solely, not 'at its core'. I meant all the other...stuff associated with marriage. The connotations and the history and the sentimentality and the expectations of Love and Lifelong Commitment, and the relatives and the tears.

And the religion, of course.

hermoike - I don't think the secular (probably atheist) David Miliband is likely to have a Jewish wedding.

But what is so special about marriage? It is at its heart a shorthand way for a couple to make a statement of coupleship for legal matters, if he and his partner have satisfied their financial/legal situation to suit them both-why should they marry?
I see no point to it.

Yes. Ed should write me a letter.

No, he should pencil in an hour sometime in 2011 to navigate his backside to a registry office and make an honest woman of his partner.

maybe they're avoiding getting married because there will be familial tensions over not having a Jewish wedding?

What I really mean is: who cares?

Marriage and Civil partnership ARE basically the same. Marriage is entirely a legal matter. All the 'baggage' etc is stuff that WE bring to it not inherent within it.

'honest woman'!

More time-travel.

by the way, i joking - the bit about 'honest woman'. Thought I'd better say that before you all come torch my house.