I have just thrown MIL out of my house and told her not to come back.

[ShadeofViolet]

I have posted before about MIL and her favouritism of DD over both my boys.

In our house we split the weekend so that one of us gets a lie-in. Normally I lie in on Sundays (its a common known thing withing his family) but he went out last night so we swapped.

At 8.30 there was a knock at the door and MIL was there - looking very shocked to see me answer it. She had come to bring DD an advent calendar. Nothing for the boys. DS1 was awake too and he was very upset. The advent calendar was a Dora one (DD loves Dora) and MIL made it clear it was for DD 'I saw it and thought she would like it'.

I told her to take her advent calender and stick it up her arse. I know it was a bad move but I was so upset as DS1 was in tears. Then I slammed to door in her face.

She has since sent DH a text saying 'blood is thicker than water'. DH says I should not have been rude

I am so cross - this is not the first time but its the final straw.

[bubby64]

Hi, my DH threw his mum out for something simular, and now she is living in Spain and we don't see her anymore! It was the best thing we could ever have done, as she was always upsetting either my boys, my DH or myself with her attitude, my DS's even called her th "mad, horrid granny". Good on you girl! there is always that final straw, and she has found it. Bubby x

[DirtyMartini]

Marking my place to learn how it goes later. Good luck setting your dh straight, OP.

[SparklePffftBANG]

Your MIL comes second only to Riven's in the "worst MIL of the year award".
My MIL sometimes irritates me, reading threads like this remind me just how lucky I am!

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

Oh I dunno. There was a poster on here - think she's long gone now - who had the maddest mother in law. Seriously, the woman was loopy! Gave her yards and yards of knicker elastic for Christmas one year, I seem to recall.

[Littlefish]

Hec - I've just seen on WWB's facebook page that she has turned out the attic and found the legendary 32 metres of knicker elastic.

[KERALA1]

Why do these people not realise that showing favouritism to one child over others does so much harm, runs very deep and can separate families? A friend no longer has contact with her mother at all because the mother favoured her sister throughout her childhood and then started favouring one of her grandchildren (one of the friend's children) which brought back all the pain. Its very damaging. Surely part of being a socially developed adult is hiding those feelings we know we shouldnt really be having.

[pleasechange]

OP well done you. I have a similar issue with MIL at the minute in that she has repeatedly given the DSSs money, treats & presents and left my DS out (all her blood grandchildren). I have told DH I am not going to her house again with DS as I will not tolerate it any longer. He thinks I'm massively over-reacting.

[Suda]

Hi ALLNEW - was it you did a thread about this that you took them all to their Grans and she gave them a dessert and/ or chocolate and left out your youngest - I thought it was the OP on this one but apparently not.

[Tori27]

Blood may be thicker than water but you pick your partner you have no say over family!

DH needs to support you but also mediate to get things resolved. MiL occasionally annoys me - nothing like what you're dealing with - but DH is always on my side, actually he usually sees it before I even say anything.

Good luck x

[forehead]

I agree with the poster who said that your ds's are aware of the fact that their sister is favoured and will blame your dh for it.
Tbh, your dh's attitude is even more alarming than his mothers. I really don't understand how he can ignore his mothers behaviour and i feel really angry on behalf of the children.
My own mother went through a similar experience with her own mother who favoured her younger sister(my aunt)this caused roblems between my mother and her sister which affected their relationship as adults and as a result we had little contact with our cousins. My mum is sixty and still talks about this despite the fact that her mother and sister are no longer living.
Your dh needs to grow a pair.

I would apologise for shouting at her, but make it clear that you will not allow your children to be treated differently

[onlyjoking9329]

Ok I'd firstly apologise for swearing.
Then big talk with DH as it sounds like this has and could be an on going issue.
My MIL was evil to me and the kids throughtout my DH illness and even managed to kick off a few times at his funeral. On the plus side we don't have anything to do with her since DH died and never will.

[DirtyMartini]

OP, do come back and tell us if everything is OK and sorted with your DH. Hope so.

[victoriascrumptious]

You did good Shade, I think the next step is putting your DH in his place

[pleasechange]

Hi Suda, yep it was me a few weeks ago with a similar issue. Hasn't really been resolved as DH thinks I'm over-reacting and making a bid deal over nothing. There's a stand-off at the minute. He did say something to her about it but he said it sounded petty . She came to our house at the weekend - apparently to see all of them, but arrived 10 mins before I was due to take DS to football and had left by the time we got back (the DSSs where in the house the whole time though!)

[Suda]

Hi Allnew - think you ll just have to stick to your guns with your DH that you're not having it - make it his problem so he cant ignore it. I do think its like the badly behaved stepchild scenario - I think they sometimes blindly defend their kids or mother or whatever out of embarrassment. He probably knows full well she is out of order but doesnt want deal with it.

[TigerStar]

Well done you! We are currently having a standoff with my in-laws due to favouritism of DSD over DS and I totally understand your reaction. I blew up at mine in April and haven't seen her since. DH is also fuming with her too.

[Suda]

Tiger - thats half the battle dont you think - that you are both singing from same hymn sheet - but I think OP and all of us are right to have zero tolerance on unfairness - otherwise how we going to bring up fair - minded children. ?