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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously pissed off that my ex has bought 8 year old DS a mobile

31 replies

bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:26

Oh, and hasn't seen him for nearly 3 weeks, or contacted him in 3 weeks. Today has taken him out for a treat. Told me he would be back at 9.30pm, then text at 10pm to say show hadn't finished yet and that his battery was about to go. Then, hey presto DS rang from new mobile phone!!!!!! I'm f raging! I can't help feeling this is all a one-up on me! What a twat. Oh and he hasn't given me any maintanance either - clearly that's gone on treat and new f**ing mobile phone! While I avoid the bills coming through the door so that I can pay for DS extra tuition etc. Grrrrrr

OP posts:
AlisonDubois · 06/11/2010 22:32

nobody under 16 NEEDS a mobile phone....what is he thinking?

Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:36

My guess is he's thinking he can't contact his son on my phone (I've never stopped him contacting his son - EVER) or it could just be stretching it to piss me off! I could kill that man. I know I shouldn't let him wind me up but I seriously don't know what to do about this one. DS will lose it and who pays for it and why on earth would he need it. I have a landline and a mobile for his dad to speak with him, albeit once in a blue fucking moon!

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 06/11/2010 22:38

Just hand it back and tell your son he can use it when he visits his dad.

mamalovesmojitos · 06/11/2010 22:39

YANBU. fgs that's ridiculous in my opinion.

Simbacatlives · 06/11/2010 22:39

All secondary school children need a mobile- they are under 16. They travel to and from school without an adult. A mobile is a godsend.

They call or text when school closes in snow, when trips delayed, school texts them with reminders etc. I call them if running late, they call me if forgotten keys etc etc etc

School asks that children takes them on trips- 4 days stuck in ash cloud- mobile was invaluable to talk to son.

Does an 8 year old need one - no. Is it wrong that they have one- no. Not if both parents have discussed it. If you have discussed and said said no and he bought one- that's awful but if you never discussed it he may have assumed it was ok.

mybedsmyfriend · 06/11/2010 22:39

I think its ridiculous how young children have mobile phones nowadays.
I heard a boy who looked no older than 10 saying he was getting an iphone for XMAS.
RIDICULOUS!

MumblingClothDoll · 06/11/2010 22:40

Golly no YANBU there is evidence they're bad for kid brains...take the bloody thing away and tell him he can se it when he is with his Dad to call you...and make sure he gives NOBODY the number

MimsyRogers · 06/11/2010 22:41

My 10 yr old DD will be getting one for Xmas. She is walking to school by herself now so it makes sense... doesn't it?

bellavita · 06/11/2010 22:43

I agree with Simba.

We are nearly in 2011, not the dark ages. If the parents want to buy an i-phone for their child, then so be it, why should it worry you?

Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:44

This is insane. Why on earth would he need one. He's only ever with me - I have a mobile and a landline FFS or his dad who also has both. This is about my DS being able to ring his dad whenever he likes and it's clearly just to piss me the f* off. The guy is a complete and utter arsehole. My god where will it all end!

OP posts:
Simbacatlives · 06/11/2010 22:45

Yes it does mimsy. Mine went on the bus (I put them) on when they were 10. They texted me when they got to school each day.

One day bus broke down. They called and I met it- picked up all 6 of them an took them to school. When the raid flooded they called me to say they would be back late etc etc

Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:47

Are you guys serious? My DS is 8 years of age. He goes absolutely nowhere without me, not to and from school. And, even if he does go somewhere else it's always with a responsible adult and exP has contact numbers. The guy doesn't contact his son from one week to the next - what's with the all of a sudden concern about being able to speak to him on the phone!

OP posts:
bellavita · 06/11/2010 22:48

So it isn't about the mobile phone really is it, it is about you thinking that he is trying to piss you off?

Is it such a bad thing DS having a mobile phone to ring his dad whenever he likes?

Simbacatlives · 06/11/2010 22:51

A 8 year old doesn't need a mobile or Lego or a ds or a new pair of trainers.

Why is a mobile worse than any other gift?

Unless you had discussed it and agreed that he wouldn't have one- then yes it is out of order to get one.

Do you check every purchase for him with your ex?

Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:51

I'm really shocked that anyone would think that this is about an 8 year old contacting his dad whenever he likes. He can do that! No problem at all. I have 3 phones he can use -they never run out of credit - they're all on contract. My DS asks me and I say, yes no problem! If his dad wants to ring, again, I have 3 phones he can contact him on -he has all 3 numbers and the numbers of my family. This is about him having control - yet again. It's unreasonable, it's pathetic and it's entirely unnecessary.

OP posts:
Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:52

Oh, and it's nothing whatsoever about him being able to speak with his son when he likes.... just incase that point was unclear.

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 06/11/2010 22:53

8 yrs is too young for a mobile phone...but I think your Ex is trying to piss you off imo..

Original poster
bettiboo · 06/11/2010 22:55

Don't be ridiculous. Of course I don't check every purchase with his father. Actually, I probably shouldn't have posted on here. It's winding me up even more and I don't think it deserves my energy.

OP posts:
bellavita · 06/11/2010 22:59

You did post in AIBU!! and yes I think you are.

Simbacatlives · 06/11/2010 23:04

I think that you have answered your own question.

Your ex took you son out for a treat and bought him a present. Not a present you would have bought but not anything that you had expressly asked him not to buy.

You buy your son presents without checking that your ex agrees the purchase. Is that any different?

ChaoticAngel · 06/11/2010 23:33

I do wonder how I managed to survive my walking alone to and from senior school without a mobile phone Hmm

OP is it a pay as you go, cos if it is then I wouldn't worry. It'll run out of credit sooner or later and can stay that way unless his father is willing to keep topping it up.

Simbacatlives · 06/11/2010 23:54

Your mother probably worried about you all day! Back then in an emergency the school would have called home-you might have been 1320 on the list and your mum would have heard the school was on fire/closed/ bus broken down etc from a friend 1st or in the local shop and panicked- today they say call your mum on your mobile! Everyone knows within 10 minutes.

Technology is great - just because we didn't have it as children doesn't mean that our children shouldn't.

tigerchilli · 07/11/2010 00:15

UANBU He is doing it to piss you off, exert control and play cool daddy with your son.

Lee2010 · 07/11/2010 01:38

Why doesnt a kid need a phone these days?

Original poster
bettiboo · 07/11/2010 09:59

I've calmed down! I'm sorry if I was harsh yesterday. I can understand it may sound unreasonable without context. I still don't think a child needs a mobile phone at 8 years of age. He will not be anywhere without a responsible adult. I will be giving it back to his dad and leave it up to him if he allows him to use it. It does have internet access so I'll have to trust his ability to manage this safely. Thanks for your input.

OP posts:
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