To think I should be able to spend as much or as little as I want at the supermarket?

[SumfingNew]

Location - Aisle 4, Sainsbury's, Trowbridge, Wiltshire.
Time - 1230 today.

I did the weekly shop this morning, as usual. As I was placing the food etc onto the conveyor belt, I could overhear the cashier and the customer ahead of me bitching about the latest M&S advert, saying how 'smug' it was and how it reminded people of how little money they had.

Fast forward to my turn in the spotlight...

The cashier struck up conversation with me and mentioned the conversation she'd been having, about "rampant consumerism" and how "disgusting it was".

Not entirely clear what exactly she meant and suspecting strongly that I disagreed with her if what she meant was what I thought she meant (i.e. "w*nkers" like me, with money, spending it), I just shrugged and said, "I wouldn't knock it too much...if people weren't buying stuff, you'd all be out of a job, surely?".

She gave me a cat's bum smile and said nothing after that, other than to announce the total cost of my purchases (£155.50) in a very disapproving tone .

We have friends for lunch tomorrow (2 adults, 2 children) and yes, I pull out all the stops when entertaining...but (annoyed at myself for feeling I have to chuffing justify my purchases!) I've also bought a week's worth of food for me, fiancee and our baby girl.

AIBU in thinking I should be able to buy any amount's worth of food without disapproval from the supermarket staff?

Absolutely not. If you have the money (and do not owe to anyone else, obviously!) then you should spend it however you wish. Do not feel guilty for the have-nots, work-shy etc. Life is too short.

PortoTreasonAndPlot - thank you! I was beginning to wonder whether I was completely out of order!!

WastingAway - how might it be immoral? Is it the amount itself that's offensive or is it the proportion of a month's wages that determines your approval?

She didn't say anything about YOU at all. She was having a convo before you even got to her, which you took as a personal attack. The only thing you have to complain about is a "disapproving tone" which you may have interpreted in a way that suited the scenario you had already assigned.

like I said, get over yourself. Not all about you y'know.

YANBU - I bought a pregnancy test in supermarket, cashier commented on it Funny enough no-one wants to discuss how heavy my period is when I run in to buy some tampons

I'm a cleaner in a bar/restaurant, would it be appropriate for me to comment on the price/ amount of wine customers were buying?

Not if the insolent hussy has insulted you, no.

It could be argued that excessive consumption shows disregard to others.

BonniePrinceBilly - fair enough!

WastingAway - but who's the arbiter of what is or is not "excessive"? Surely it's up to us each to spend as we see fit?

I would also think that £150 is average

Dahlink, if you were in my local store, they would be disapproving of your weekly £155 for a totally different reason
Who cares?

"How is OP strange? Cos doesn't enjoy snarky comments about her shop?"

No, because there were no sarky comments - just a perceived "very disapproving tone".

Hardly worth getting worked up about, least of all starting a thread about, is it now?

BTP - good point...although I do have a dangerous "competitive dad" streak in me that takes pride in my (relatively) swift food-packing abilities (I should have worked at a supermarket!).

flyingzebra - fair enough. In your opinion, I was being unreasonable.

hhm.

yanbu if you think till staff should be friendly and not judgy. Tis the job.

yabu if you think this is hugely important.

she was probably having a shite one, and needed a break.

Sumfing, I think it's about being part of society. To spend extravagantly when others are struggling is selfish. To spend excessively is immorally so.

Generally speaking our society is mostly selfish, so you're not unusual, but in times of particular crisis, the Wartime spirit rears it's mutually supportive head and people are affronted by those who not only have a lot more, but don't give a damn about it.

Fwiw, I don't think £155 is particularly a lot with prices what they are, I'm just talking here about why people who think it is think it's their business.

BTP - I take your point but I prefer to do it myself because then it's my fault if it's all squashed and spoilt!

EdgarAirbombPoe - of course it's not hugely important..nothing on here is, ever!

WastingAway - fair enough but what is 'extravagant', what is 'excessive'?

To my mind, spending £10 on a bottle of wine is a treat - spending anything at all on desserts is a waste! Horses for courses.

If it is your money, why not spend it. Don't see why that would make anyone selfish with regards to society, Wasting Away. Spending money extravagantly keepsmother people in jobs - if everyone stopped spending because 'others are struggling' we'd be in a much worse situation.

LoveRedShoes - darn good point!!

Yes extravagant and excessive are subjective terms, but I think that society tends to develop a consensus over that sort of thing.

There's a sense of 'all being in it together' that's important in times of crises, and I think that's probably more important than trickle-down economic theory.
It's quite simple in basic moral terms. If one person is being greedy, then others go without, and that is what the checkout girl may have been seeing.

I don't think the assistant gave a rats ass about how much you were spending or what you spent it on, she was just trying to continue a conversation with you about how Christmas is so commercial thesedays.
I imagine that after your comment "I wouldn't knock it too much...if people weren't buying stuff, you'd all be out of a job, surely?" comment, she thought 'why fecking bother'