Genuines question re YR4 teacher getting the whole class

[PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker]

to call my ds a 'dipstick'.

So context, DS1 didn't know how to use the PC/board pen and forgot to click it so he did it all wrong. (He isn't the sharpest pencil in the box when it comes to school work, no great interest and a very late starter, no SN just average boy really and so part of the AIBU is tied in with me worrying about this). When his mistake became apparent his teacher said Thomas(namechange) you dipstick, everybody say Thoooomassssssss iiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss aaaaaaaa diiippsttiickkkk.....in the way that children say the register/talk in assembly.

DS1 came home and said it ruined his day. He divulged later that teacher calls other children dipstick too. Teacher is highly committed, a little stressy, fun, well liked by parents and staff alike....except for his regular absence around parents evening.

DS1 is my PFB and probably not well equipped to deal with this level of piss taking.

Do I just deal with DS, not making a fuss, or would I BU to speak to the teacher? I don't want to undermine him or put a spanner in the works.

Should I just lighten up?

(If this was ds2 who finds school a breeze and loves it I know I would feel differently.)

doh...Genuine.

I think it's awful to have involved the whole class in this - it's nothing more than bullying and I would def have a word about it - discretely.

no that's totally out of order. I would be fuming, not pfb at all.

name calling
ganging up the whole class on him

talk to the head it's not on at all.

I don't know, I can see how it might have been intended in a playful way, especially if they're a nice class who generally get on with each other.

But still, I'd be mortified if I thought I had upset a child in that way. You should phone up and tell the teacher, as a wee aside, that it upset your son so that nothing like that happens again.

YANBU.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I would so go mental if i were you!
How fucking dare she!
May i suggest you go straight to the head teacher!

What a twat!

This is how teachers who generally loved school and never ever suffered any inadequacies when they were there, teach other children how to bully. YANBU. Wholly unacceptable and inappropriate behaviour from what is supposed to be a professional adult. Three day exclusion is barely sufficient to fit the crime.

Three day exclusion without pay IMO.

I've just has another chat with DS, this is the first time everyone has joined in. I really don't think the teacher (male btw) would have wanted to make him feel bad, I think it's supposed to be funny....but I think my DS is too young. I was an incredibly confident (probably painful) child and this would have floored me.

I asked DS if he would like to talk to Mr X and tell him it made him fell horrid or I could do it, he wants me to be there....which is fine by me.

IMO that is absolutely terrible, i dont think i could trust someone like that to teach my child

If they feel prepared to do something like that i would think they might do other mean things which would be far harder to 'prove'

I think this needs to be escalated directly to the Head - not to the bastard teacher responsible.

I'm a teacher and I would say that YANBU, there are times when I take the piss/have banter with kids (although I am a secondary teacher, so they're a lot older) but this is done in the context of careful relationship building and knowing the kids and how thick their skin is. It is definitely wrong to involve the whole class though or do to do it in a way that demeans.

However, if he is generally a good teacher and well liked, he may just have misjudged your DS on this occasion, or their may be some misunderstanding. I would agree that a discreet word is likely to sort this out - he will prob be very apologetic and embarrassed! I would think carefully before speaking to the head, it will turn it into a huge issue, which your DS would prob not want either. If once you've had a word with him you are not satisfied or something were to happen again, then I would say that would be the time to take it further.

Hope it sorts itself out.

I don't think there is any humour in his action!
I have just told my husband, and he said he would have his job for that!

If her were my staff, i would send him off on a course for a few days, About how to relate to children without mistreating them!

he not her

there not their

Oh no Ghostie!

I would need restraining if this happened to my child - I would be so far out beyond angry it's not true. I would be speaking to the teacher concerned immediately tomorrow morning and if a prompt and sincere apology was not instantly forthcoming I would be seeing the Head before the end of the day. Honestly, what kind of idiot thinks this is acceptable or appropriate?!

this is like bullying really from the teacher, dont think it is acceptable at all. would go and have a word with them, dont just ignore it as it is v wrong the way the teacher is behaving like this

I agree sparkle, i would insist he apologised in front of the whole class too. What a dick he is!

I would keep it private for now, but would want an apology for myself and my child that day. And I would want to feel it was genuine and that the teacher understood what impact they had had. I would do the screamingly angry bit in my own head but would be icily calm and to the point with the teacher.

I'm just baffled, absolutely baffled as to how an otherwise great teacher, which this person really does sound like, could have got it so, so wrong?!

She got the whole class to call your child a name? I'd be really mad, don't think it is pfb at all. Teachers are meant to be helping to stamp out bullying, aren't they? Not encouraging it.

Maybe I'm overreacting myself but how is this attitude helpful to anyone? It's awful feeling stupid in front of a whole classroom full of people anyway.

Me too. Thanks all for your posts.

It has helped me find out how I really feel about this.

err well I would get corroboration first before you speak to the teacher.The teacher probably just said it in an affectinate way and some of teh kids parrotted him.

old....I have casually asked DS, who can be uber sensitive, twice. He didn't think the teacher was being mean but he said he didn't like to be called names.

hmmm, I do understand that you are upset and that so is DS and this is understandable BUT I have to disagree that this is necessarily bullying or done without humour etc. It is possible, particularly given your description of the teacher, that this was intended to be amusing and light-hearted. It sounds like some badly misjudged humour to me. As you say, some children would be FINE with this, but obv not your DS.
I would speak to the teacher, in a fairly low key way, to explain that DS was upset and that you would appreciate if he could take this into consideration. I think that it is way ott to go to the head first, imo.
btw if it is relevant I am a teacher myself.