Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think you should accept what you're given?

111 replies

sims2fan · 03/11/2010 20:09

I think I am pronbably being unreasonable actually, but need to vent!
First of all - I love knitting. I find it really soothing, and it also stops me from eating in the evenings if I keep my hands busy with knitting! Lol. I find the best things to knit are baby things, because they knit up quickly and you get a sense of achievement at having finished something, before then going onto something else.

My SIL is pregnant so I have enjoyed knitting her a few bits and pieces. Not loads, just a couple of cardigans, a couple of pairs of booties, and a hat. I've already given them to her as I have a very small flat, and don't really have anywhere to store them. I hoped she would like them, but to be honest, I just liked having someone to knit for, so didn't really care! That said, I tried to keep them all simple so they couldn't possibly 'offend' in any way, and they are all white as she has said she likes white newborn things. Anyway, I just picked up my current project, looking forward to a couple of hours of knitting in front of the TV and my husband has told me his sister has said to tell me not to knit her anything else as she has loads of things for the baby and doesn't want anymore. I think that could just be her way of saying she doesn't like my gifts though. Now, in my opinion, the thing to do is to accept everything gratefully, and quietly discard anything you don't want to keep. Because now I really don't feel like giving her anything else ever! Which I know is being petty, but she has been like this on another couple of occasions. Once she complained to my husband that the present we gave our nephew, then aged 1, wasn't good enough, or up to her standard of gift. It was a nice treasury of nursery rhymes book and we were very hard up.

So, I can understand her not liking things, but am I being unreasonable to think that she shouldn't say anything but should accept all gifts gratefully and then get rid of what she actually doesn't want?

OP posts:
Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara · 03/11/2010 20:11

If she has that attitude then I would think "stuff her" and wouldn't bother putting any more time or effort into making anything for her. So no, YANBU

maxybrown · 03/11/2010 20:12

I would have loved you around me when DS was a baby! No one to knit for him Sad

That said I could give you a list of little things I would like knitting if you need an appreciative someone to knit for Grin

YANBU

lal123 · 03/11/2010 20:12

Don't waste your time knitting for someone who doesn't need the stuff. DMIL and Daunties knitted enough cardies for every baby in Scotland to have one when DD1 was born. I felt terrible because she couldn't physically wear them all. If you are desperate to knit then knit for a charity, or a hospital or a woman's refuge

maxybrown · 03/11/2010 20:13

or me Grin

BangingNoise · 03/11/2010 20:14

YOu can knit a jumper for my DS! He's 4, so not a baby, I'm afraid, but we'd at least be grateful.

maxybrown · 03/11/2010 20:15

hey get in line heee heee

Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara · 03/11/2010 20:15

Handknitted stuff sells on Ebay....a friend of mine bought loads of it from there for her baby, as she had no one to knit for her.

micku5 · 03/11/2010 20:16

I second what lal123 said about knitting for hospitals, my dd2 was 6 weeks premature and luckily in SCBU there was a cupboard full of tiny cardi's, booties and mittens knitted for the babies which came in very handy!

SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 03/11/2010 20:16

Well if someone has said they don't want something, why persist in giving it to them? If you like to knit, there are plenty of charities who would love knitted baby clothes.

SuchProspects · 03/11/2010 20:16

YABVU. All your sister has done is point out that she does not need any more new born clothes. She probably thinks she's saving you effort and expense.

She has no idea your reasons for knitting and dumping things on her are entirely selfish.

gramercy · 03/11/2010 20:19

I think I see a business opportunity for you!

Nice hand-knitted stuff is lovely (not acrylic dayglo stuff...) and so few people are able to knit properly.

I wouldn't waste another stitch on your sil. Get thee to a craft market!

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 03/11/2010 20:19

why not knit and donate to your local SCBU or charity shop?

Hedgeblunder · 03/11/2010 20:20

That's a shame, I would be a bit upset about that too, she does sound a bit precious!

MadamDeathstare · 03/11/2010 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2010 20:23

Sorry OP, you sound lovely, but I do sympathise a bit with your SIL. I'm really not keen on knitted stuff, and a friend of MILs just kept on knitting more and more stuff and giving it to us. First time I thought "how kind", sent a card to thank her, dressed DS in it a couple of times, then he grew out of it. But the stuff just kept coming and coming, filling up my storage space and (OK this bit is unreasonable) making me feel guilty for not being grateful and not using all this stuff someone had slaved over. And I have enough things to feel guilty about without some arriving with MIL once a month.

MadamDeathstare · 03/11/2010 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 03/11/2010 20:26

yes, that bit was very bad. The gift sounds lovely, even if it wasn't she should ahve been grateful

sterrryerryoh · 03/11/2010 20:29

I think you sound like a fab sil!

When my mum was pregnant with my Dsis, she was presented with loads of knitted stuff by my Dad?s SIL - some of it was a bit fancy - lots of pink bonnets tied with ribbons, and very ornate cardies with glitter weaved in and out. They had obviously taken some time (there were LOADS of them) and although they weren?t to my Mum?s taste, she gracefully accepted them. Just before my Dsis was born, there was a family do, and my Dad?s SIL turned up with a receipt book for all the wool she?d used AND had added some extra for her time, and promptly billed my Mum for the crap knitted items.

Maybe your SIL genuinely has enough stuff, and doesn?t want to waste your time - I wouldn?t take it personally, and I am very happy to get in the queue for some nice hand-made knits!

TheHouseofMirth · 03/11/2010 20:32

here you go OP, a list of much more worthy potential recipients of your crafts.

BlueFergie · 03/11/2010 20:34

Is it possible that what she said to your husband was a bit more considerate and tactful and he has just given a very rough translation?
Do you think she just wanted to let you know that she has loads of stuff and doesn't want you wasting time and money making more things that won't be used?
I am probably being generous to her though considering the thing about the book for your DN. That was horrible. I would be really pissed if someone said that to me. What a cheek!!

sims2fan · 03/11/2010 20:37

Wow Sterry, I would never ever bill anyone for a present that I have chosen to make them! That's just bizarre!
Hospital knitting is probably a good idea. I have searched a bit on the internet for charities to knit for but the only one I found said its campaign was now closed. Maybe I should just contact my local hospital directly.
I unserstand not everyone likes handknitted things, which is why I tried to make them simple (no frills, ribbons, etc). But surely all babies need a cardigan put on them every now and again don't they?
Maxy and anyone else - send me your requirements and I will gladly knit for you!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/11/2010 20:40

i wish i had someone to knit for DS.

MIL used to, but her hands are too arthritic now Sad.

SuchProspects · 03/11/2010 20:44

OP please ignore my first post. Have just re-read and realized I completely missed the point of your post. Vent away. I hope you find a more worth recipient for your generosity.

KathyImLost · 03/11/2010 20:46

I dunno if you like dogs, but these guys always need dog coats knitting, or you could make a snood for a greyhound Smile

maxybrown · 03/11/2010 20:47

well, you know what i have wanted for years? A stripey knitted draught excluder Blush sorry that just came to me