to think you should accept what you're given?

[sims2fan]

I think I am pronbably being unreasonable actually, but need to vent!
First of all - I love knitting. I find it really soothing, and it also stops me from eating in the evenings if I keep my hands busy with knitting! Lol. I find the best things to knit are baby things, because they knit up quickly and you get a sense of achievement at having finished something, before then going onto something else.

My SIL is pregnant so I have enjoyed knitting her a few bits and pieces. Not loads, just a couple of cardigans, a couple of pairs of booties, and a hat. I've already given them to her as I have a very small flat, and don't really have anywhere to store them. I hoped she would like them, but to be honest, I just liked having someone to knit for, so didn't really care! That said, I tried to keep them all simple so they couldn't possibly 'offend' in any way, and they are all white as she has said she likes white newborn things. Anyway, I just picked up my current project, looking forward to a couple of hours of knitting in front of the TV and my husband has told me his sister has said to tell me not to knit her anything else as she has loads of things for the baby and doesn't want anymore. I think that could just be her way of saying she doesn't like my gifts though. Now, in my opinion, the thing to do is to accept everything gratefully, and quietly discard anything you don't want to keep. Because now I really don't feel like giving her anything else ever! Which I know is being petty, but she has been like this on another couple of occasions. Once she complained to my husband that the present we gave our nephew, then aged 1, wasn't good enough, or up to her standard of gift. It was a nice treasury of nursery rhymes book and we were very hard up.

So, I can understand her not liking things, but am I being unreasonable to think that she shouldn't say anything but should accept all gifts gratefully and then get rid of what she actually doesn't want?

Oranges, I think if you explained that yor baby has an allergy that would probably be fine! not the same as saying you don't like them.

amumm - have just read your post and am at that, and other people who have the sheer gall to tell you that your gifts aren't good enough! I'd be damned before I bought them anything else ever again, with that attitude. How utterly mannerless.

My brother and SIL once told me that when their ds was born they were given a total of 47 knitted things for him to wear, and that they had never once put him in any of them.

Was thier DS born in July Yuno? :)

OP, do you know what the best thing I have is? Knitted pram blankets, I have two, one knitted by me and one by mil. vvv useful for winter babies, also I have extra one if puked on! Brilliant!

Spookily - I am halfway through a lovely blanket, but think I will look into selling things on ebay, or maybe at a local craft fair so it will get sold now, not given away. I feel a bit mean now because it sounds like I'm making my SIL out to be a bit of a cow, and she definitely isn't, she's just a bit more willing to do things which I personally think are social no nos!

Oh yes, good point Spookily! The handknitted pram blankets were fantastically useful and so lovely. I had two as well, one from DH's aunt and one from his great aunt.

Actually, blankets are generally useful - for e.g., MIL knitted us each a smallish blanket to be used when sitting in cold rooms - I have mine on my legs now! They're about 6'x4', give or take, and are very useful for cold weather. Especially given the fuel cost rises!

I am absolutely staggered that anyone thinks it's acceptable to return a gift as unwanted/not liked etc. It is so so rude .

The polite thing to do is to say thank you, then if you don't want it pass it on to someone who does.

Incredible .

Returning a gift and saying no thanks to anymore are completley different. I too would be horrified to hear that someone would think it acceptable to return a gift.

I don't agree Lurpak, I would be incredibly upset if someone said "stop giving me your knitting" to me . I would far rather they 're-gifted' to use that awful expression. I would get the hint eventually without my feelings being hurt!

I despair of people's manners these days .

So you would just keep accepting and accepting? With a smile? Isn't that a bit... fake? Would much rather honesty than manners. Maybe I'm just not very 'British'.

Yes, I would. No, much rather manners than honesty .

It's a bit tricky, isn't it. My nanna was an inveterate knitter and I had more jumpers than I needed or wanted, tbh, because she needed to be knitting something. It got better when we were allowed to choose our own wools and patterns, but I still had more than necessary. But I couldn't have told her "no more" because she was my Nanna! I don't know if it would have hurt her feelings or not, probably, but mostly we all knew that she needed to knit so we helped her out.

I completely agree with Lurpak.

Beyond rude to give back a gift.

But people get ruder and ruder. There was a thread on here, another one about a grabby, greedy, rude bride and groom. And they asked the best man to take back teh gift he gave them because they wanted money.

They'd have been wanting a new best man if it had been me.

We've had some lovely knitted items and lots that weren't to our taste. We have however accepted them gratefully and passed them on in a charity bag if we weren't going to use them.

I agree, could you knit items for a charity or indeed knit items and sell on eBay. We bought a couple of lovely hand knitted beanie hats for DD from eBay and would have bought other items too, especially modern funky designs.

thumbwheel, yes I think she would have been offended. There are other ways of dealing with it - one of my friends asked me if I would knit something specific for her that she had picked out, or you can ask for orders for friends/family.

If people like to make things then it is gracious to accept - the love and thought that has been put into these items is much greater than something shop bought.

One of my friend's mum's knitted me a jacket for DS2. He only wore it a couple of times but I was so incredibly touched by her kindness (she has never met me) that I sent her a photo of him in it.

sorry, i agree with knitting!

think it's beyond rude to return a gift.

and am looking for someone to knit a small hate for a 2-year-old boy.

:)

we got a lot of knitted things for DD1 that weren't to my taste, but we accepted them and used them!

kept them, too. i saved them for her in a
little wooden kist, with cedar balls i sand off once a year.

a very beautiful blanket, too, made by a friend of my mother's.

a friend knitted DD2 a beautiful wee jumper. again, kept and treasured.

if it's not to your tastes then say thanks and pass it on.

or keep it for your child. his/her tastes may be totally different from yours.

Not too sure what a small hate is? Lol, presuming you mean hat!

I would love to knit for someone appreciative and would be quite happy to knit for babies and small children of people on here, but sadly in this day and age I doubt if anyone would give me their addresses to send the things to.

sims, i just sent you a wee message. i am left-handed and can't knit to save myself, but am looking for someone to knit a hat i saw (have included the pattern in the message) for a just-turned 2-year-old boy.

:)

yes, a hat. :)

well, it might not be so small. he has a big head for a 2-year-old. haahaahaa.

Aw, expat, I am left-handed too but I can knit!!

Am at your story about the wedding - awful!

My mum drummed manners into me re: gifts from the day I could talk. Say thank you, tell them how much you appreciate the thought/gift, never say you already have one, never say you don't like it, never return it.

Not tricky!

P.S. please can you send me the pattern too, I have a two year old who may appreciate it . Not doing much knitting at the moment cos just returned to work and too knackered, but need something to get me started again .

Will PM you the pattern now. It's SUCH a cute wee hat.

I tried to knit once, but it was a disaster because I am left-handed.

I only recently taught myself to sew.

Sim2Fan, I'd really like a xmas stocking for as yet unborn baby with her name on it in some sort of fancy stitch if possible. Is that something you could do? How much woudl you want? inbox me.

Echo everything others have said. Was always taught to say thank you politely, no grimacing/rolling eyes. Was at our friends who, as soon as they opened our present for their engagement party, asked for the receipt! Was well pissed off as we'd put a fair amount of thought into it (and had asked them repeatedly what they wanted, with no reply).

Anyway, I've just taken up crochet because we're TTC soon. My mum has taught me and has rediscovered her love of it (she used to do loads when I was little) so she is off and running. Doing shawls for a friend's DD who is expecting her first soon. She has already said that she and my SIL will have to communicate if and when I'm expecting a DC as my SIL knits, crochets and sews and will porbably want to give us stuff.

I'm really looking forward to it I love homemade stuff as presents - even if it's just a plate of cookies. Much better than shop stuff just bought for the sake of it.