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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please MN Jury settle this disagreement between me and DP

71 replies

TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:17

DP is due to move in for a trial run to see if we can all live together without me killing him feeling suffocated.

So ds2 is in my room, no other option as he cannot share with ds1.

I want to get DS2 either

This or

This

DP thinks he is too young, I think he will be fine.

What does mn jury think?

DS2 is 3

OP posts:
LaurieScaryCake · 02/11/2010 22:18

Are you still planning to have DS2 in with you both Confused

LaurieScaryCake · 02/11/2010 22:20

Have you considered scrolling down the adverts to where both of them say 'not suitable for under 6' Wink

He's too young - you'd have an argument if he was a sensible 5 but he's 3.

PaisleyLeaf · 02/11/2010 22:20

Tricky. They're not recommended for that young. I guess it depends on your DS. I wouldn't have put my DD in one at that age, but my nephew who is very confident and well practised at climbing would probably be fine.
Does he wake in the night and climb out of bed sleepy?
What's he in at the moment?

AnyFuleKno · 02/11/2010 22:21

sorry, don't know the backstory, is dp your ds's father?

MsHighwater · 02/11/2010 22:22

I'm with your dp on this.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:22

Laurie, there is no choice but for him to be in with us, I have a 2 bedroom flat. He cannot share with DS1.

problem is he is a big boy and is uncomfortable in his toddler bed, and there is no room for a single bed in my room with my other furniture in there.

OP posts:
madhattershouse · 02/11/2010 22:23

One of my DC's started sleeping on the top of a bunkbed at 3. As long as they have good guard rails and you make sure the mattress is not over the safe depth can't see a problem. Dc was fine...his twin kept falling out of the bottom bunk though Grin

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:23

DP is ds2's father yes.

DS2 scoots up and down DS1's ladder

but yes he wakes in the night at the moment to get in with me.

OP posts:
bigchris · 02/11/2010 22:23

Could you move into dp's place? Is it bigger?

iamamug · 02/11/2010 22:24

Why can't he share with DS1? Just curious??

LaurieScaryCake · 02/11/2010 22:24

I think you're mad to be contemplating it in such a small space. You need to move to give your relationship a fighting chance.

I've read your thread before about why he can't - any chance you and dp could have a sofa bed in the lounge so ds2 has his own bedroom?

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:24

No he rents a room Sad

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 02/11/2010 22:25

Why can he not share with your elder son? Surely that is better than sharing with you.

I don't think high sleepers are a good idea for a 3 year old.

AnyFuleKno · 02/11/2010 22:26

I'm just thinking from my own POV here but, I don't think I could be erm, uninhibited in the bedroom with a small child sleeping in there

SkeletonFlowers · 02/11/2010 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:28

We lived together previously but not for a while now. He moved out to see if it helped with DS1 - (he has ODD and possibly aspergers)
I am on the council list for a larger property as due to DS1's problems the boys can't share.

TBH a sofa bed would not work as I have an open plan living/kitchen area.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:30

This bed would fit above my chest of drawers and so it would not take up any extra room.

any this is why I am glad I have babysitters Grin and also a lock on the living room door.

OP posts:
CrazyPlateLady · 02/11/2010 22:32

I agree with your DP I'm afraid. They are recommended for older children and no matter how adept a child is at using a siblings ladder, I just wouldn't take that chance by getting either of those beds for a 3 year old.

I would also get a bed settee and let each chold have a bedroom if they really cannot share. Why not, just out of curiosity?

We were in a 1 bed flat when we had DS, not our fault, we had a nice 2 bed and were evicted and could only afford a 1 bed. Luckily we were only there 6 months but we did say that we would end up on a bed settee and leave DS to have the bedroom if we were there long term.

TooImmature2BMum · 02/11/2010 22:32

I think 3 is too young. I fell out of the top bunk aged 5 in the middle of the night. I woke up in the pitch dark (we had shutters to make it dark so we could sleep) and I thought I was moving towards the wall, not the edge. I landed on the doll's house and broke its roof...I wasn't damaged, though, just scared. The bunk had a rail but I fell out of the hole for the ladder. Maybe it would be safer with a night light?

Also curious about why your sons can't share!

Rindercella · 02/11/2010 22:32

I wouldn't put my 3 year old in one of those as her normal bed - a one off sleep over is one thing.

Why can't your sons share a room?

PaisleyLeaf · 02/11/2010 22:32

If I were in your position I think I'd still prefer the sofa bed idea, even with the open plan.

AnyFuleKno · 02/11/2010 22:32

you mean to say outside of the bedroom you despicable harridan Grin

CrazyPlateLady · 02/11/2010 22:33

Why wouldn't it work with the open plan area? Do you and DP go to bed at really different times or something?

PaisleyLeaf · 02/11/2010 22:33

What does your DP think?

TooImmature2BMum · 02/11/2010 22:33

Sorry, cross post! I realise now why they can't.