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AIBU?

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Original poster

Please MN Jury settle this disagreement between me and DP

71 replies

TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:17

DP is due to move in for a trial run to see if we can all live together without me killing him feeling suffocated.

So ds2 is in my room, no other option as he cannot share with ds1.

I want to get DS2 either

This or

This

DP thinks he is too young, I think he will be fine.

What does mn jury think?

DS2 is 3

OP posts:
Rocketbird · 02/11/2010 22:34

I think I would get a sofa bed tbh. Obviously I don't know your set up but having a small child in the room with you doesn't sound the best basis for a trial run. I should know, I've got contraceptive girl in with me and the action is zero!

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:34

Crazy, DS1 doesn't sleep very well and he would disturb DS2.

A bed settee wouldn't work with DP working shifts as it would mean when DS1 gets up and ready for school he would be woken, and DS2 is an early riser as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:38

Any I am terribly despicable Grin

Crazy If he is on an early shift - 4am start then he is in bed by 8 the latest, most nights I am MNetting busy until 2am ish.

Paisley he thinks DS2 should stay in his current bed until he is too tall for it.

OP posts:
CrazyPlateLady · 02/11/2010 22:40

Ahh right. Makes sense with the shifts.

Have you hounded the council? It sounds like an awful situation to be in. Can your doctor not do a letter saying that your children cannot share at all?

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:43

Crazy, they already have a letter from a child psychologist stating this and have been put in Band 3 which is priority. If we get the DX for aspergers then we will move up to Band 2 which is high priority.

This is without them taking into account the severe damp, and state of disrepair of the property.

Also there is 9 years between them which makes it very hard as well.

OP posts:
PaisleyLeaf · 02/11/2010 22:45

Any chance of moving some of your bedroom furniture into DS1's room or somewhere else - wardrobe or whatever, to make room for a bed for DS2 in your room?

CrazyPlateLady · 02/11/2010 22:47

I would keep on and on and on at them.

I have heard of people who get somewhere faster just because they hassle the council so much (wish I had taken my own advice on that one in the past, but too late now).

It does sound like an awful situation to be in. I don't think you have much choice but to let your younger DS grow out of his bed. How old will he be then? Will he be old enough for a high sleeper then? I know toddler beds say up to the age of 5, although my DS will not be in his that long, he is too tall for that.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:47

Paisley,

I have done that today. It means that DS1 has had a major meltdown because "its not fair"
I have basically explained he is going to have to deal with it for a while.

DS2 has a bed in my room - but its a toddler bed and he is really getting too heavy big for it now.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:48

Crazy, he is 3ft 5 already and weighs 3st 9 so it isn't going to be that long at all.

OP posts:
MaMoTTaT · 02/11/2010 22:49

I would buy a mid sleeper for a 3yr old.

It's a guideline, a recommendation, not a law.

IME 2nd children are much more adept at coping with something like a mid-sleeer when they've been practising on an older siblings since they were big enough to try.

Probably the wooden one though - as those metal argos beds SQUEAK like hell with wriggling children in them Grin (DS2 and 3 have the Argos metal framed bunkbed)

MaMoTTaT · 02/11/2010 22:52

BTW people - that's a mid sleeper - not a high sleeper.

DS1 has a midsleeper \link{http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/6944373/Trail/searchtext%3EMID+SLEEPER.htm\this one} and they're really not that high, and the rails would stop them falling out

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:53

Mam, I have to say I prefer the wooden one myself.

he currently has a bed similar to This

But he is really uncomfortable in it.

OP posts:
readywithwellies · 02/11/2010 22:53

My ds has been in a bunk since age 4. No problems. My dd is now three but I wouldn't put her in one as she falls out of her normal bed.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:55

Aside from the shift work DP is old and needs his sleep Wink

OP posts:
MaMoTTaT · 02/11/2010 22:55

DS3 went into the bottom bunk of a proper high bunk bed when he was just under 2. He was fine - it was poor DS2 in the top bunk who wasn't as he kept getting booted out in the middle of the night as DS3 climbed up and kicked him out Grin

ghoulishglendawhingesagain · 02/11/2010 22:55

I think it depends on the child TBH. DD would be fine in a bed like that. DS would be in Casualty before I could leave the roomGrin

I think they are quite a bit lower than actual bunk beds IIRC?

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:56

DS2 has been climbing into my bed since before he was a year old as he mastered climbing out of his cot then!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:57

DS1 had a high sleeper cabin bed at 3.5 but still never stayed in it grrrrrr

I think DS2 would be fine but DP thinks he is too young.

arghhhhhhhh men n kids eh?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 22:58

Goulish, the one I am looking at has a space from under the bed to the floor of 74cm and including the height to the top of the guard rail it is 112cm

OP posts:
Bast · 02/11/2010 23:01

Some mid sleepers have cabin type curtains for underneath and a tent for over the top ...would something like that limit falling possibilities?

ghoulishglendawhingesagain · 02/11/2010 23:02

I have bunkbeds but am using them split as singles ATM. I wouldn't worry about DD going on a top bunk, except that DS would follow her and break many bones.

She is moody but fairly sensible/reticent. He is happy but frankly a bit crackers with no sense of danger at all. He would scale the ladder to get up in a flashShock Nearly 2.

I am bizarrely proud I have never taken either to A and E yet but I know one day it will be him, IYKWIM

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 23:03

Bast I was considering superglue laying his old mattresses beside his new bed when I get it and also sitting up all night watching him testing him in DS1's first for a couple of nights.

OP posts:
ghoulishglendawhingesagain · 02/11/2010 23:04

My bunks will be 168cm high when stacked. So quite a bit lower.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 02/11/2010 23:06

Failing superglue he will have to stay where he is at the moment but you can see he is uncomfortable - my fault for co-sleeping with him for so long in a king size bed.

Now I remember why DS1 had a double bed by the time he was 6

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 03/11/2010 00:37

I wouldn't hesitate to put him in a mid-sleeper.

I hope it all works out this time! x