Please MN Jury settle this disagreement between me and DP

[TheLadyEvilStar]

DP is due to move in for a trial run to see if we can all live together without me killing him feeling suffocated.

So ds2 is in my room, no other option as he cannot share with ds1.

I want to get DS2 either

This or

This

DP thinks he is too young, I think he will be fine.

What does mn jury think?

DS2 is 3

Could you possibly set him up in the sitting room? Clear a corner completely shift the place around till he has his bed (a proper single) and some few little bits to make it nice for him like a little bedside locker for his bed time books night light etc they do this type of thing all the time where my Dh is from, they have beds that have beautiful wooden drawers on them and during the day take off the pillow and duvet and cover it in like a fancy lookin seat cover material iykwim and place big cushions along the wall and it acts as a very comfy extra seating area which doesn't look like a bed if you get me but then at night pull out da pillow and duvet and let him snuggle in... Unless you think dp would wake him leaving for the morning shift? I would be nervous bout him in a bunk but you know him, my boys fling themselves round their beds and iv my old cot mattress protecting my 4yo from smashing into the wall so I know he still wouldn't be able for it (but would so love climbing up and down the ladder!) but maybe if you could get one of them bunks with the double on bottom and single on top for him and you and Dh sleep in the bottom, that way you could have the wall one side of him and if he fell out the other he'd just land on mattress/or you and dp... But less likely of a bad injury.? Or even if you do go with this mid sleeper/bunk then use his old mattress on the floor beside the bed in case he did fall and just shove it under your bed during the day... Hope the council help ye out soon and it goes well for ye whatever ye decide

Secret, that really wouldn't work because my kitchen is in my living room and as sensible as DS2 is he does like to "wash" his hands, plates, worktops etc so I would get up to a flooded living room/kitchen and my front door is in the living room as well.

Its only a mid sleeper not a high sleeper, my 3 yr old sleeps in a mid sleeper and is fine. Is your DS just 3 or nearer 4?

dd2 has been in a midsleeper since 2 and has been fine, mind you she is a very climby child iyswim.

DS2 is very much a climber...he disovered he van open the drawers at different widths and climb up it like stairs arghhh

He turned 3 in September.

Well, I am the Queen of PFB and my dd couldn't have been THAT much older (maybe 4?? or 4.5??) when I got her a pine one. The sides are so high that it's like a cot on stilts, she never fell off and was a bit shorter than evilboy2 - I am LOVING someone elses suggestion about the bed tent though - privacy and security for him

FYI one of my friends DS's slept in his cot bed in the BATHROOM for the first 5.5 years of his life........ not that was fairly shocking.

I would n't put a just 3 in a raised sleeper, dc were nearer 5 or 6. Hardly romantic for you and dp either. Reconsider the sofa bed in lounge. If he's on shifts he could borrow ds2's room. if you all share then you and ds2 getting up will also disturb him.

LIZS, if we all share when I get up I come out of the bedroom, if we had the living room as our bedroom then we would be disturbed by the road outside, and in the mornings by the children iyswim?

I think maybe I should leave it a few weeks and look at it again.

TBH under different circumstances the 2 boys would share.

I didn't put mine in high beds till they where older. I generally think there are reasons for the guidelines.

However I have seen these beds, which say they are suitable from 4 so younger than most:

www.boxroombeds.com/showprod.php?n=n&pid=1137420870

I do not know exactly why they are suitable from younger though, i presume the rails at the side are a bit higher than average or something similar. They also come in a wide range of sizes, which may be handy for you if space is an issue.

TBH I'm confused about him being too big for the toddler bed. My (very chunky) 5 year old is still in his and it is absolutely fine. I can't get my head around how any 3 year old could be too big for it.

Can you not have him go to sleep in your bed at his bedtime, and then transfer him each night into the living room at your bedtime? Not ideal, but tbh I don't think there is an ideal answer to this one.

Toddler beds are fine for children that lie quite still at night.

Wriggly children (especially larger wrigly children) are prone to waking themselves up by either falling out or bashing themselves on the side

Could you get a double/ king size high sleeper for you and DP instead? Would save even more floor space too.

Are you or your DP 'handy' at all.

I have shown this thread to my step-dad who is quite handy (can fix anything) and he suggested getting the wooden one and then attaching a drop-down or removable side yourself that would go over the whole side including the hole for the ladder at night.

Do you think you or someone you know would be able to do that?

thanks MaMoTTat

and I think Squiffy's plan is excellent.
we have done that for short periods on holiday.

I was wondering if you could arrange it so the foot end of your bed went under ds2's bed. That way if he did fall out he'd land on your feet.

What about a double bed for you and DP with a trundle bed underneath - one that is pulled out each night?
Would that fit?

Ikea do a double high sleeper that you could fit another bed under.

Use the double for you and DP and make a tent under it for your DS2 in a normal bed. He gets his own 'room' and you lose no floor space.

Just a thought...

Baggy Thanks, that is very similar to the one I was looking at in Argos.

Muddle I am pretty sure it is his weight tbh, he is heavy and long. He is also a mover in his sleep upside down, sideways, diagonally,you name it he ends up in that position.

Squiffy IF my living room was not directly leading to the street AND the kitchen wasn't in there then it would work, but it is too much of a danger for him iyswim?

MaM haha do you have my DS2??

Captain DP is almost 50 and getting up and down the ladder would kill him lol poor old so and so.

Batty I would be able to do that, yes thank your step-dad for me please!!! thats a very good idea.

Becky Thankyou another good idea!

Lox That wouldn't work, I already mentioned the damp in the flat, I will add a photo of my bedroom carpet/floor so you will see why I won't work

My bedroom floor

tbh TLE - I would go for the mid sleeper for your DS2 if I were you.

I don't think most parents who have ignored the "guidelines" would have done so if they thought their DC was the type to fall out of it.

Though having just gone and looked at DS1's more closely I think if you were asleep you'd have to try VERY hard to fall out of it - there's a good 15-20cm from the top of the mattress to the top of the "rail" (I guess that's sligntly more when a body is squashing the mattress) and to fall out of the gap where the ladder is (especially if they slept with their feet towards that end rather than their head next to the ladder) would require a feat of pretty grand proportions.

I think the biggest risk with them is pretty much the same risk as your kitchen worktops, back of the sofa, dining room table - that when they're awake they could mess around on it and fall off.

Thought my DB managed to fall off a bunk bed aged 10 because he was arsing around - the 6yr guideline wouldn't have helped him.

I perhaps should add that DS1 slept on the top bunk of a high bunk bed with NO rails on it at all!!! (and I have a photo of all 3 DS's playing on it as well)