to be shocked at pre-school handing out sweets?

[RidgewayLass]

DD did not know what "sweets" meant until she started pre-school. Since then she has been offered 1 or 2 fun-size Milky Ways twice, both times just before lunch ffs, and yesterday it was lollipops and chews. It looked like all the other children were having sweets, and there was no alternative treat for children who are not allowed sweets. At home we do have sweet biscuits, cakes, puddings, icecream, but we are very wary how much pure glucose or sugar DD gets in one go.

I told her the lollipop and the chew were very bad for her teeth, and she asked "well if they are so bad for my teeth, why did my teachers give them to me?" Why did they? I thought the schools were supposed to do healthy eating - where does this fit in?

I am with you op . My kids get sweets but i like to choose when as they get so few. I wouldn't stop other kids having them - nor would i impose my views on them.

YABVU you cannot cotton wool your dd forever, she is going to go to preschool and school and learn new experiences. So we should all not allow our dcs to have sweets just in case your dd learns what sweets are . Its all about moderation, my nursery very occasionally gives out sweets that a parent has given for a childs birthday.

Well I would. They rot your bleddy teeth, and sugar is totally addictiveand kills your taste buds.
It's no coincidence that children who are given loads of sugary snacks are often picky eaters.
No way should nurseries give toddlers sweets, and the mere sight of parents letting their kids suck on lollies all the time makes me incredulous with horror.
It's not being sanctimonious for the sake of trying to make out I am good parent.
Adults have control over what kids eat. Kids have no real understanding of what is good for them, and when they are little it is our responsibility to restrict sugar,
Same most of us restrict what they watch on TV, or what time they go to bed.
My son never ate any sweets til nursery, but even now doesn't binge on it.
Grow up biscuit posters!

(Impose my views I mean..)

I agree northernrock! Why is it so acceptable to give sweets to kids?! It is awful!

breathes sweet fresh air!!!

33 kids in class
11 week terms
kids bring sweets in for birthday
one day a week

this is all conjecture but it's possible. Please don't shove your haribo at our kids

to you all too!

Good post Northernrock, I really don't get why the OP is getting a hard time. I can't believe it's a good thing for nurseries to hand out sweets, esp sweets like chews and lollies which are more likely to be a choking hazard for young kids

I told my aunt when DD was 6m not to give her chocolate and I got a mouthful from her about how "Everyone is entitled to eat chocolate!" .

My kids eat ice cream and occasionally cake at home (i just don't tend to buy a lot of sweet stuff) but not sweets, chocolate, crisps etc. I'm not a nazi parent, and if they are out, or visiting friends or at a party, I don't stop them eating chocolate, biscuits etc, but just not at home. They know that it is absolutely a treat.

I want them to learn when they are very young that there are loads of amazing foods that they can choose from that taste brilliant, so that when they are older, they will (hopefully) learn to make good choices for themselves.

Oh, and my family bought me and my brother loads of sweets and soft drinks growing up and although we were skinny as rakes, we had tons of fillings by the time we were ten.

OP, YANBU!

This happened to me on my dd's first day at a nursery attatched to a school they gave her sweets because someone had been on holiday, in the school holidays.

I didn't like it either. It was like getting the seal of approval from the teacher. My dd (then 3) didn't know what sweets were either. It hadn't really come up as it wasn't something we were eating at home.

FFS this attitude is what causes eating disorders. You are showing such a unheathy attitude to food.

"is allowed a couple of squares of dark chocolate"

as soon as she is able to choose her own food she is likely to choose everything you have banned.

moderation is the key - ok so sweets rot teeth - so ensure they aren't her main food group but she's a child so let her be a child, not a mini-me.

as for the glucose/class A drug comparison - I hardly think a sugar rush compares with a cardiac arrest in the grand scheme of side effects

sugar is not addictive. sugar does not cause hyperactivity. sweets do not rot your teeth any more than fruit does. If you want to bang your bloody food police drum get your chants right.

Sweets and chocolate are not good for you. Why give them a taste for something unhealthy? They are not going to avoid them all their life, no, but why introduce them at an early age and why should school be allowed to do so over the wishes of the parents?

I think it's ridiculous that people are accusing the OP of being pfb about this. We all have different ideas about how we should raise our children and a pfb accusation seems to be the default for people who do things a bit differently. I have 2 children and I parent them the same way. I am not changing my mind about healthy eating at all.

You are not a superior parent because you allow your children to eat sweets and chocolate on whatever you deem to be a regular basis. Get over yourselves!

Can we please not use 'Nazi' in any other context apart from its real one? Its really offensive. I think a nazi parent would be too busy teaching their dc about the superiority of the Aryan race to bother about a few sweets tbh.

Lots of things arent good for them bubbleymummy - where are you going to draw the line - I would argue that dcs being driven everywhere is really bad for them in many ways because I dont drive and walk everywhere but wouldnt bang on about it in a sanctimonious way. Very few people would advocate them having junk food all day everyday but a small amount will not hurt them.

And most of the biscuits on the thread came from the OP's tone and smuggery not the actual sweet eating itself.

That's the point omni. We all draw the line in different places. Who can say which of us have drawn it in the right place? You think that a small amount everyday won't hurt them. I prefer that that my children only have them occasionally. It is my decision to make as a parent and it shouldn't be undermined by a teacher just because she thinks differently.

I have to admit I felt a bit bad about DD age 3.4 having her first chewing gum the other day - but we were on a plane and it really helped with the ear popping!

We don't really keep sweets, ice cream etc in the house as I don't think it's healthy to have them all the time. But DD learned to self regulate - given a bowl of ice cream and sprinkles in a restaurant, she will stop when she's full. I'm so happy she can do that as I didn't learn that skill until last year and by her own admission my mum is still struggling with it!

"That's the point omni. We all draw the line in different places. Who can say which of us have drawn it in the right place? You think that a small amount everyday won't hurt them. I prefer that that my children only have them occasionally. It is my decision to make as a parent and it shouldn't be undermined by a teacher just because she thinks differently."

The techer hasn't undermined anyone, unless she has specifically told said child is not allowed sweets, teachers are not mind readers, how is she supposed to know which children are allowed birthday sweets with the exception of medical and religious needs of course.

I used to have sweets once a week as a child, 2oz rainbow drops, and so sweets were the most amazing thing ever. Then we moved into a sweet shop and I went sweet crazy....three years on I had five fillings. I am of the opinion that to deprive a child of sweets makes them loooooove them, so we're fairly liberal here...not too often but not like they're so special that they are to be treasured.

bruffin, that's why it shouldn't be allowed in school - that way the teacher doesn't have to worry about it :)

Just because one parent is PFB everyone else has do without an odd treat, lovely attitude. Why do expect to impose your parenting on everyone else. Do we make schools only have wooden toys because one parent doesn't want their child having any plastic toys, where do we stop.

It's not just about the eating of sweets. DCs get a lot of pleasure by bringing treats into school for their birthday and giving them out. Whatever they bring in someone will find something to complain about.

My DCs are 17, 14 and 8.
What I have learned is that a gift to a child is to learn moderation.
I have had to have forbidden foods because of acute intolrances and making children aware of good foods and bad foods is (IMO) a really bad step when it is delivered too early

A child should excercise and eat a full range of many many foods. They should eat when they are hungrey and personally I hate the food as treat thing but it happens. We ultimately all do it - even if it is a cup of tea when you are tired or a fav dish or a glass of wine.

This 'good food bad food message is often really badly handled making people think low fat foods stuffed with artificial sugars are a good idea.

My view is that I am responsible for 90% of what my children eat and do. The other 10% - parties, friends houses, school treats - is not the end of the world if their day in day out stuff is great.
So I take care of that bit.

FWIW I have slim, athletic healthy children. the only one with teeth problems is DS2 who has complicated issues re food because of his SN. He is still slim and fitthough which is hard to achieve when he has no access to sport

But food does give us pleasure pagwatch, especially if you have been bought up with a mediteranean attitude to food as I was. Part of that pleasure is about sharing.

Yes, I know. Of course it does.

That is part of my point.

When we line up one aspect of food and label it as good or bad we place a subconcious line around it.
So we think of treats and we think of unhealthy things because bad=naughty=good.
When we pass that on to kids we just exaggerate the 'oh I mustn't have a chocolate it is bad. Fuck me I ate the box'

If you ask DD if she wants a treat she will say a variety of things because I have tried not to make anything taboo.
( not sure I am making sensde but ploughing on)

so if you ask DS1 if he wants a treat having been brought up with a 'sweets are a rare treat ' thing, he will want chocolate
If you ask DD she will say chocolate or pate on toast or smoked salmon bagel or roast lamb with broccoli or a fairy cake... could be anything