to be shocked at pre-school handing out sweets?

[RidgewayLass]

DD did not know what "sweets" meant until she started pre-school. Since then she has been offered 1 or 2 fun-size Milky Ways twice, both times just before lunch ffs, and yesterday it was lollipops and chews. It looked like all the other children were having sweets, and there was no alternative treat for children who are not allowed sweets. At home we do have sweet biscuits, cakes, puddings, icecream, but we are very wary how much pure glucose or sugar DD gets in one go.

I told her the lollipop and the chew were very bad for her teeth, and she asked "well if they are so bad for my teeth, why did my teachers give them to me?" Why did they? I thought the schools were supposed to do healthy eating - where does this fit in?

At DS's preschool sweets for birthdays were given out at the end of the session so parents could see and not let the child have them if they don't want to. Is this what happened in your child's setting? Giving sweets regularly during the school day is not something I have ever heard of.

DS was veggie when he was younger and when I turned up and saw him about to scran down a sausage at the Christmas party I was a bit pissed off (PFB). When I spoke to the staff about it they said that serious allergies aside it was not their job to police the dietary requests of parents in verbal preschoolers. They said if a child's parents didn't want them to eat something then they should explain that to the child- they were of course totally right!

In response to your question about healthy eating provision and where the occasional treat fit into that... I would say it fit's in perfectly with the sensible message that as part of a healthy and varied diet the odd sweetie on someone's birthday is fine

YANBU to be a bit about chews and lollies. YABU to be shocked, though.

TBH I wouldn't be keen, but in the scheme of things it's no biggie. It's easy to explain away pre-school allowing these things, even though they're bad for you. Chews and lollies are things to enjoy every now and then. When it's someone's birthday perhaps. A pre-schooler can understand that, I'm sure.

If it was chocolate we were talking about, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

I give birthday sweets out when the kids bring them in at the end of the day - not worth the aggro and risks of doing it otherwise.

If you're really bothered (sweets will drift in for birthdays and the like - it's just one of those things that happens), perhaps you could do what an ex-colleague does with a child with severe food allergies - she's given the class teacher a bag of acceptable goodies (mini raisin boxes or whatever DOES meet with your approval) and when birthday sweets come in - her daughter gets something from HER bag so she's not left out.

emptyshell, thanks, that's an idea. Maybe I'll talk to them about having an alternative standby, I can't be the only parent with a child who goes off like a rocket on a mouthful of sugar.

Faverolles, I don't think she's G&T, just Miss Motormouth. Oh, now who was it who said it would add to her vocab - we're talking about a kid who used 400 words before the age of 2. But at least I can try explaining things a bit.

lankyalto, I know she will encounter sweets sooner or later - she has seen her cousins and her big friends eating them, but she never tasted them. She honestly thought the racks of sweets in the shop were all cereal bars. The thing is, now she's tasted them and had the official sanction from teachers I'm afraid we might have tantrums which we didn't have to deal with before.

Thanks for the sympathy StrikeUpTheBand, it's good to know I'm not the only one.

JenaiMarr that's exactly it, it's the high levels of sugar/ glucose that bothers me. She is allowed a couple of squares of 85% dark chocolate (am I a really horrible mum?).

I don't know about all things in moderation. Really ALL things? Heroin? Crack? Why can't I draw the line at glucose?

oooh this is actually an excuse for boasting innit

1 look 400 words before age 2, count 'em

2 I'm a marvellous parent, no sweets, see?

3 no tantrums yet, please admire me

Seriously get a grip, it was a lolly and a couple of milky ways....

I used to nanny for 3 children who weren't allowed any sweets at all, I took them to a party one afternoon and there was a pinata and they were literally pushing other children out of the way to get to the sweets it was embarrassing.

So yes everything in moderation and your comment about heroin and crack is just being ridiculous.

YABU. Unclench.

Sweets are part of childhhod (in moderation). Moderation doesn't mean a blanket ban and indignation when pre school staff offer the children occasional sweets.

I have happy memories of what a treat sweeties were when I was young and they did me no lasting damage. I have excellent teeth and eat and cook healthily. I am partial to the odd licquorice allsort though... but I don't blame my parents or my school!

Relax and save your energy for a battle worth really fighting for.

I wouldn't like the lolly, simply because i choked on a lolly when i was 5, it had come of the stick far to easily and i've never had one since, also they are really bad for teeth.

But i can't see anything wrong with other sweets in moderation, i let DS have sweets from nursery when a child has a birthday and he gets a goodie bag etc, but at home, we only give him good quality dark chocolate, because thats what i have, no other reason.

If you teach your DC about good dental hygine then the occasional sweet won't make a difference.

PMSL @ glucose being the same as heroin. Honestly you need to relax a little - there will be much bigger and more important battles to come. Only allowed 85% dark chocolate! Bless - buy her a packet of cadburys buttons and watch her face light up, g'on - it'll be magic
My family (my mum and granny) thought I was the meanest mummy ever for banning chocolate before dd was one!

Opps in my English class today for 5 yr olds when they said all the English words right ( I teach abroad) they all had a sweet . Often children take in biscuits or sweets to share at snack time - makes a change from the bread they are usually given ! I think a little as been said is fine but if you are not happy with it then say something.

I think other posters are being a bit harsh OP.

DD can have some sweets & I'm not overly precious about it, but neither do I push them on her. Parties, birthdays & whatever fine but they aren't a daily occurance - far from it. She enjoys them when they are around but doesn't ask for them so everyone is happy.

I will be peeved if DD's nursery starts feeding her sweets when she starts next year. There are some people who feel kids are deprived if they don't have sweets everyday (ie most of my family) and love to feel good about themselves by supplying a constant stream of sweets to small children. I would not expect the nursery to be participating in this supply. If it's the odd birthday or special occasion well OK, but for any other reason they shouldn't be doing it.

Your daughter reminds me of my mum OP, only cereal bars, nuts and seeds, all organic of course. The occasional square of 85% cocoa chocolate, which she claims is 'utterly delicious'. I'm not convinced, she always looks to me like she's been sucking on lemons. Though apparently it's all very good for helping one through the menopause.

Oh, she also has a marvellous vocabulary for her age.

Perhaps your daughter might be allowed a little go at being a kid for a while?

Rosa are you in the UK?

DD isn't at school yet but I've seen all the threads on MN from UK parents where they are getting muslie bars etc confiscated from lunchboxes ie parents aren't allowed to send kids sweet snacks as they are deemed inappropriate - yet schools/preschools can give kids random sweets???

Will you child be allowed to go to birthday parties? Will you ask the parents there to provide "alternatives"?

YANBU

This country seems to have made far too close a link between treats always having to equal something sweet/fatty/salty to put in your mouth.

There's a reason we are a nation of fatties and encouraging kids to snarf sweets at random moments at preschool is probably one of them.

No I am not I am in Italy ....where half thethings mentioned in the forbidden lunchbox threads don't even exist...

YANBU I think that the whole sweets for birthdays at school debacle is a nonsense. Luckily my DS1 doesn't like sweets or chocolate ( odd I know but his choice) so usually gives them away but I think it's totally unecessary and makes a mockery of the "Healthy School " status that it likes to boast about soo much.

You so much as sneak a packet of chocolate buttons or a juice drink into a child's lunchbox at DS's school and it's seized like contraband..... but hey if it's someone's birthday, fill ya boots with sugar !

Now before you all leap on me and say what a mean mummy I am let me state that I am not a sweet hater. DS2 is completely different to DS1 and loves a Milky Way and the occasional Haribo Starmix but is it really necessary to load kids up with sugar just before they come home at the end of the day ...rant over

I should add that dd gets a 3 course hot meal with fresh fruit and veg daily at preschool all for £3.50 Also the teacher is the one that distrubutes the sweets and biscuits at snack time.

I don't think YABU to not want sweets handed out to her just before lunch every day, although by your OP it's been three times in half a term which isn't excessive. The timing is off though.

But I think you're asking for trouble if the only sweet you're letting her have is a couple of squares of dark chocolate. That is really horrible and not particularly wise. I am the product of a mother that was extremely strict with 'treats'. I now have a very bad relationship with food. Making certain foods out to be bad will probably acheive the very opposite of what you want.

oldrandwider you are being ridiculous small amounts of sweets are perfectly possible, moderation. I speak as someone who likes the occasonal chocolate bar/sweets/crisps yet is 'underweight'

The reason we have a nation of fatties is that no one knows how to cook properly. In France there are mountains of sweets in the supermarkets - yet no one is fat..

Yanbu. I wouldn't be happy about them handing them out willy-nilly.

At my dc's nursery they ask the parents if the child can have sweets when they come to pick them up.

As DS has allergies we have to skip the sweets sometimes.

I'm not sure if I am more shocked about a parent being horrified that her dd has been given sweets at nursery or by the fact that she has counted the number of words her dd used before she was 2.

Ds spoke at a very young age and all I thought was isn't it nice to have a proper conversation with him.

OP have a virtual .

My dh counted the number of words dd had. She was a pfb and the HV sent a letter saying at x age child should have x number of words - so dh counted - can't remember what age, how many she was supposed to have or how many she did have mind But I imagine the OP counted for similar reasons.

Actually giving sweets before lunch would irritate me, and really they should hand to parents because some children have allergies/are vegetarian etc.

I have in the past given sweets out to secondary school children I have taught, but I wouldn't now, what with the hysteria about sugar there is now. I do think the whole healthy school thing seems to miss the point at times, I think we should bring back proper home economics and teach them about balanced diets and moderating sweet things.