to want to put my 14 week old into his own room?

[Heathcliffscathy]

such such a bad idea putting it into this topic but hey, i'm a fly by the seat of your pants type girl...

He is sleeping pretty much through: bad night wakes for feed between 4am and 6am. good night does 7 til 7. hasn't been gina'd. i just feed him as much as he wants during day and try to shush him if i can at night (never let him freak out, feed him if he really wants it). he is very big for his age: 16lb and counting at nearly 14 weeks.

I'm thinking if he carries on this sleeping through thing (under no illusions that i'm out of the woods yet in this respect) I'd like to move him across the landing to his own room. but sids advice says no now.

he naps in his room for up to 3 hours at lunchtime. what is the difference?

so am i being unreasonable?

Do it with the informed consent (or knowledge of) the fact that you are potentially increasing their risk of SIDS, which is, it should be remembered, a tiny risk anyway.

But you are increasing it slightly.

Statistically, you also increase their risk of dying slightly if you choose to give birth naturally. Babies are in less danger of dying if delivered by elective cesearean.

Statistically, you increase their risk of dying also by taking them somewhere in a car instead of walking.

There are countless other examples in everyday life of perfectly reasonable sounding choices and decisions we make that do technically increase, statistically, our chances of harming or killing our children, that we dont tend to dwell too much on.

Accept that it is an increased risk and decide accordingly.

happygilmore - thanks for the link to the stats. Is there any info why the rate has dropped - is it that parents wake up if a child has stopped breathing or because of laying babies on their back? Or other factors like better post-mortems? Not sure how they would figure this out but perhaps it has been done?

ive often wondered this. If you should sleep in the room at night with your baby, what about in the day? i know of few mums who will sit with their child as it naps to regulate breathing. why is it ok not to for naps but dangerous at night?

The advice is currently for night and day:

fsid.org.uk/Page.aspx?pid=420

This website has the source reference for the room sharing information:

www.parentingscience.com/SIDS-prevention.html

interesting on co-sleeping and it has some references you could chase up.

What the article says is that co-sleeping (ie in same room or bed) may protect babies at risk of SIDS (not sure if that means the baby has risk factors such as low birthweight, parents who smoke).

so basically (from that stat sheet), if you have a boy under 3 months, are working class, under 20 years old when you had him and live in the northwest you have the highest chance of sids.

I can't help but want to know WHY?

Plenty of my friends moved their babies out when they were about two months. They were fine.

I think we moved ours when they were about four months, which was probably the advice back then.

And the nap point is very interesting. Mine used to sleep in the pram in the garden for an hour a day if the weather was OK. No way would I have noticed a change in breathing from the kitchen.

sohpable - money? More likely to have a poor diet during pregnancy, more likely to smoke or live in a smoking envionment. Less likely to have access to good quality health care and advice or bother with it.

From what I have read it looks like laying babies on their back is responsible for 50% of the decrease in death rates. And there has been a 35% drop in smoking during pregnancy since the 90s which is responsible for another huge chunk of the drop.

There was no advice about sleeping in the same room when I had my DSs - I moved mine at 4 weeks and 2 days respectively.

I know I would struggle with the current advice. I found it extremely hard to sleep in the same room as my babies.

And frankly, most of parenting is about weighing guidelines and common sense and reaching your own conclusions. And even then you can be caught out. Your intuition probably is right in telling you your healthy and thriving baby will be fine in his own room, or your eight-year-old will be OK left for ten minutes while watching TV, or your eleven-year-old can manage a Tube journey across London by themselves. A friend with similarly-aged children may reasonably reach the opposite conclusions, but that doesn't mean that what you've decided is wrong for your family.

Presumably you could bring the baby back into to your room if, for instance, he had a cold or something.

interesting that there are musts: don't place them on stomachs, or on a soft surface or in so many layers that they overheat or with stuff that could cover their faces.

then there are some maybes: maybe sharing room helps. maybe breastfeeding helps (do all the people slating me on this thread breasfeed? i don't know, but i do exclusively breastfeed on demand). etc

the proximal sleeping seems to be based on one 2004 article that I can't find.

Soph, older two went into their own room opposite ours at 11 weeks as by then they were sleeping through and outgrew the moses basket, plus I was waking up at every snuffle,...compared with SIL who had dc3 in own room from day 1. Overheating was always mentioned as the no 1 concern and when ds1 used to flip on his front, I used to flip him back...pointlessly, as he'd be back on his front in 5 mins, never fought this with dc2.

Dc3 at 15 weeks is still in our bedroom because we've moved his cotbed and taken off one of the sides. I find it now less disturbing to my sleep knowing he's there, plus he's on dh's side of the bed! But have done a few things differently with dc3.

Do what you think is best, parenting is always about making informed decisions to suit your circumstances.

Sorry earwicga, I have no idea.

My DCs slept in their own rooms from the first day home.

You are statisically more likely to continue breastfeeding if you sleep with your baby in the same room as you. Breastfeeding for the first six months if thought to halve the risk of SIDS.

So, YANBU, you are breastfeeding despite having separate rooms.

I would have died of cot death had my mum not awoke and 'sense' something was wrong.

I wouldn't do it just because I would blame myself.

but you make your own choice over risks.

There are things I probably do that you would consider risky.

I moved DS (now 4) into his own room at four weeks old. I found it hard to sleep with him in the same room - I'd wake at every sniffle or movement he made & I'm sure I woke him up a few times too. In addition he was outgoing the Moses basket and kept bashing his arms and legs on the sides, waking himself up. Flame all you want, because as a single parent doing everything on my own, I needed to get some sleep. So he went into his nursery, right next door to my room, with both doors open. I also used a sensor monitor under the cot mattress which gave me added peace of kind. We both slept better and he's now a happy, healthy boy. Go with your instinct OP, and do what's right for you and your baby, not other people.

I moved DS2 into his own room at 2 weeks. Yes I know what the SIDS advice is but I am a terrible sleeper and after 2 weeks of getting no sleep at all (due to hearing every snuffle sniff etc, even with ear plugs in) I decided that I needed to sleep, even if this slightly increased the SIDS risk. We didn't have any of the other risk factors (eg don't smoke, he was being breastfed).

TBH I am slightly surprised at the tone of the responses, I mean if someone posted "AIBU not to breastfed, even if this increases SIDS risk" everyone would come on and say of course ok to bottle fed. Or if some posted "AIBU to demand DH stops smoking worried about SIDS risk" - everyone would say not possible to demand this.

I was thinking about this thread earlier, and even though DD is in our room I'm going against the advice too. DD sleeps in our room alone for naps, and goes to bed, again alone, until we go to bed. I'm fine with this but wanted to make the point that a) the advice isn't as straightforward as many make it out to be and b) not as many people follow it as think they do.

yanbu
my ds went into his own room at 9 weeks old as too big for moses basket and i didnt want to fall over his cot every night - he slept much better on his own
we got the angelcare monitor with the sesor pad and he has been fine
he now sleeps on his front as did that as soon as he could roll over
he is now almost 10 months old