to start co-sleeping with my 11 month old?

[PavlovtheWitchesCat]

Its a gentle one. please?!

DS wont sleep/can't sleep whatever his reasons, most likely my fault, dont want to go into it ergain as I have a million threads about my sleep depravation already on the go in the archives.

Anyway, he is a clingy little thing, and loves company, dislikes being on his own for even a second. He dislikes being 'trapped' for example if the stair gate is shut on the front room he goes mad, even if I am in the hallway, where i was already, once it is shut, he gets upset.

So, given that today, he settled for longer for his nap than he has for a long time, while cuddling in with his mama while she was home from work for the day (another thing, he really is missing me when I am at work atm) and given that he sleeps soundly once brought into the bedroom at 5am ish, AIBU to start to co-sleep with him? DH is happy to do it, as night times are becoming (becoming?!! already were!) hard work.

Am I going to set him back a million years by doing this? bearing in mind he is not sleeping through anyway?

We co-sleep here,

DD is 18 months and after months of sleep deprivation, sitting in the dark in her room, progressing 8 inches to the doorway and then starting the whole process again.....I gave up.

I'm back at work too and knowing that we can all get a run of 4+ hrs makes such a difference to how I feel the next day.

i think you do what you need to do for everyone's health and sanity.....I just zone out when friends talk boast lie about their independant, 12 hr self soothing wonder kids and revel in my wee snuggle with sleep shy DD

horton that is just like how DS is now, he is so desperately upset, he jumps up and down so hard he almost takes off with his feet and he flails his head as he is tired and has hit his head on the cot a couple of times. You are right, we can tell the difference between an unhappy but want to sleep cry and a 'don't leave me i cant bear to be away from you' cry.

Do it. Its not like he's still going to want to get into bed with you when he's 12. No damage, just comforting your baby and saving yourself some sleep!

My first son slept with us from the start until he was about 4, he then came in quite a bit over the next few year and at 13 will still come in for a cuddle before sloping off to his own room.

My second son wasn't the slightest bit interested and still isnt bless him.

My 3 year old slept with us from the start and goes to bed in his own bed now fine but will always come into our bed by about 3am ish, If we try and make him go back in his bed he cries and wakes up the whole house. I just scoop him into ours when he comes in the room and back to sleep lovely. We do need a bigger bed though cause he will sleep the wrong way round. I love having him so near for cuddles and so does he, dh isn't fussed either way. I wont change it til ds wants to.

DH would prefer that DS settled in his own room, but as he is not getting much atm due to both of us being so tired we could sleep on a bean pole, his thinking is kind of its not going to make having sex any more difficult

Do whatever works for you.

DD is 19 months old and although she usually goes to bed in her cot now (she co-slept until about 14 months) we still bring her in our bed whenever she needs it.
She seems to go through phases and has recently been unwell. We prefer to have her in with us then so we can keep an eye on her.

Plus, cuddling up in bed is so lovely - I want to make the most of it and DP loves it too! :)
Good luck!

You can always settle DS in your bed and nip downstairs and have sex on the sofa! It was actually rather nice - felt kind of naughty which can only be a good thing in that context.

DD still comes into our bed at about 5am (she's four) and I honestly love and treasure it. As you said before, this time is so short and in a few years they won't want to sleep with their lovely little heads snuggled right up to you. So enjoy it and stuff what anyone else thinks.

Oh, and the foot in the throat stuff stopped pretty fast. She sleeps very tidily now.

Oh, Pavlov. I've started feeding ds to sleep again (when he lets me) and having him nap next to me, and it's lovely. At night he just kicks and fights so it's not worth it (he's just like his bloody mother), but I've stopped fighting him, and we're going much more with the flow. I'm still up a lot in the night, but we're all more relaxed, and that's worth a lot. And cuddling his wee snuggly body and fuzzy head is magic, esp as he's such a livewire when awake he's never still.

Is this a thread in AIBU that is totally in agreement about sleeping?

DH said 'toss the book in the bin pavlov, we do not follow our lives as others do for the sake of it'.

I meant to say, what a nice man. Lots wouldn't be so accepting of this, from what I hear from others. My DH was similarly accepting of DD's needs and I think it has really paid off for him in terms of their relationship now.

horton I think, tbh he has reached the end of his tether too, and I think seeing me so upset at the prospect of 1) another night of no sleeping 2) me considering/feeling pressured into stopping the bf'ing as it seems ds only wanted my milk has changed him to thinking this way. He has not always been so responsive but think he is realising that DS is so very different to DD. Also today he saw a big difference in DSs mood. He is happy anyway, unless desperately tired (a bit of that recently) but after the lovely nap where he woke, saw me, cuddled in and went back to sleep, DH realised how much he needs me right now.

But it has been a fight.

iamaleafonthewind i know its unheard of isn't it? unless it's a loaded AIBU question it never happens!

I certainly expected a bit more of a disagreement on this! but happy that so many people have confirmed what my heart (if not my head) is telling me is right.

can i ask, why is this constantly referred to as "co-sleeping"? sharing your bed with someone for sleeping purposes is just sleeping. what's with the "co?"
When DH and DC1 (or 2 or 3) all ended up in one bed it was sleeping, no "co" for anyone.
is it to avoid sexual inferences in the term "sleeping with"? never understood that either...if sex was on the cards, then sleeping was the last thing on my mind

Ladies. You are ALL on my christmas card list now. Ok? not the real list, as I don't send cards, but on the Those Who I Would Send Cards To If I Sent Them list.

I am off to bed. DS is asleep right next to me. He is on his back, with his arms up next to each side of his head, suckling in his sleep, breathing peacefully and I have been looking at him sleeping. Not worrying about waking him up by peeking, I just now have to resist the urge to keep stroking his head.

oh I have missed this. I may well regret it in the morning if he fusses all night, but for now, I am loving this.

We've started co-sleeping at 24 months! Ds2 climbs out of his cot and pads along to our room and jumps in. Too tired to be putting him into a cot he will promptly climb out of. It's all very well to do that malarky at bedtime, but I can't be doing it at 2am.

deemented you know? i have no idea. Its a good point though.

dementedma sorry i spelt you wrong! i just presumed i was dee and it isn't is it?!!

no worries pavlov - it's just something that bugs me. I'm funny like that!

I rarely co-sleep with my dh - and it's not cos we're busy having sex! He snores.

Do it!

I only wish I could co-sleep with 18month old ds1 but he won't and will only sleep in his cot. Has been like that since about 3months old. I try to bring him into bed in the mornings but he has none of it.
He does make up for it with loads of cuddles in the day.

Ds2 (6weeks) looks like he's following in his brothers foot steps. We co-slept from birth but in the last week or so will only settle in his Moses basket after a feed or if he does fall asleep next to me it only lasts an hour or so before he becomes unsettled then goes in his basket where he sleeps like a dream.

I'm starting to feel a little rejected.

pixie that is how dd is. She refuses to snuggle no matter how hard i have tried to get her to over the years, once she was in her room she slept well pretty much straight away with a bit of sleep training for going to sleep initially (pu/pd).s even now she figits and fusses after 5 mins!

Have slept with ds (almost 24 mo) since the horrendous 16 week growth spurt. It works for us and often get an extra hour in the morning by being ready with a boob at the first stirrings

YADNBU

Hi Merry it's barb in disguise!

Well my DD slept through solidly (and I do mean that, nothing but very exceptional ilness would disrupt her nights) from 6 months til 22 months.

She's 2.2 now and for the last couple of months has been coming in our bed roughly every 3 nights from midnight til dawn.

I love it, even though she's a pain in the butt - tickling us, booting us, lying on our pillows etc etc (and we have a super king size bed). Just wish it would have happened sooner so she could learn some c-sleeping manners though!

Funny dd age nearly 3 is doing this, getting into bed at anywhere between 11.30 and 5.50am! I love it when not tired as she has scratchy little nails and likes to push me out of bed!

I want a bigger bed.