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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that my DSs teacher shouldnt have behaved like this

35 replies

startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:19

Namechanged on this in case anyone recognises this story.

DS1 is in year 3 and is age 7. He has gone back to school after the half term today and has come out of school rather upset because the teacher has shouted at most of the class.

Apparantly, what has happened is that on the last day of term the teacher gave them some homework to do over the holidays (a kind of story to write about a particular subject). This teacher is now on sick leave and today (the first day of term) one of the other teachers has taken the class and will be doing for the foreseablee future. It appears that 90% of the class didnt do the homework and the teacher raised her voice and said how disappointed in them she was and that if they didnt do it tonight and hand it in tomorrow then they would miss play tomorrow and have to do it then.

I overheard a few of the other children in the class saying the same thing to their parents and one little girl was visibly upset.

After speaking to a few of the mums it turns oout that non of our children received the homework in their book bag and there was nothing written in their homework diary, as there normally is when homework is given. Apparantly, it was a verbal request for homework to be done over the hols by the teacher on the last day of term.

I wasnt happy about the teacher upsetting my son so I nipped in to have a quick word. She played it down and said she hadnt shouted and just addressed the class as a whole and in view of the fact that the homework wasnt given out on a sheet or in the homework diary then to forget it for tonight and tell my DS not to worry. She seemed to brush it all off as nothing.

My DS is now saying he doesnt want to go to school tomorrow even though Ive tried to reassure him that it doesnt matter now about the homework and that its going to be ok.

What a rotten start to treat the children in this way on her first day with them. And I dont particularly think its the childrens fault seeing as their homework is normally in written form and also in their homework diary.

OP posts:
memoo · 01/11/2010 20:21

Did your DS know about the homework before today?

saffy85 · 01/11/2010 20:22

YANBU if it didn't matter after all why have a go about it? No 7 year old is going to remember something as boring as homework when they're minutes from a week off school.

Daft mare.

Original poster
startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:25

Memoo, I asked him and he said he does now remember the teacher asking them to do it, but until today he had totally forgotten about it, as had 90% of the class.

He brought reading and comprehension home over the hols which he completed but just completely forgot about the story because there was nothing in his homework bag to remind him of it presumably.

OP posts:
bloodsuckingLOONEY · 01/11/2010 20:25

I TOTALLY agree with Saffy and there is no way my ds1 (also 7) would remember unless it was written down as homework is all new to them at their school. Tbh, she sounds horrible to do that on her first day with them, that's not going to encourage them to want to go to school is it Hmm. Well done for saying something :)

Guidoinsteadnow · 01/11/2010 20:25

I can see exactly how they'd feel Sad Even if they did know about it and forgot, or even chose to forget, its still a horrible combination of back-to-school-feeling and new teacher. I wouldnt want to go back tomo either.

cobbledtogether · 01/11/2010 20:26

So 90% of the children didn't do the homework that was set and the teacher told them off for not doing it.

It sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill - YABU.

cornsilkpyrotechnicqueen · 01/11/2010 20:27

agree with babyheave
I hate homework but if it's set she's entitled to have a moan if it's not done. Not her fault that the other tecaher didn't make it clear before the holidays. She's setting out her stall - give her a chance.

bloodsuckingLOONEY · 01/11/2010 20:28

Oh and I'm not surprised 90% of them forgot if it was just verbal. The fact so many forgot surely says that too much was expected of them for their age?

Original poster
startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:28

babyheave - the homework was not given out in written form, it was verbal, on the last day of term to a class of 7 year olds.

And, they were threatened with missing playtime tomorrow if they didnt do it tonight and had it in tomorrow. I think thats rather harsh considering.

OP posts:
memoo · 01/11/2010 20:28

I think you being a bit unreasonable then.

If the majority of the class haven't done the homework then of course the teacher is going to tell them off.

pozzled · 01/11/2010 20:29

YANBU. I don't think it's realistic to expect 7 year olds to remember homework given verbally, ESPECIALLY if this is not the usual system.

The fact that the teacher tried to brush it off suggests to me that she realises she has made a mistake in her reaction. I would guess she assumed that the homework had gone out as normal, wanted to set high standards from the beginning- and felt really stupid when she realised it hadn't been sent out properly.

bloodsuckingLOONEY · 01/11/2010 20:30

Exactly! And she must realise if she backed down so easily!! Also, she should have been 100% sure about it all if the homework was given from another teacher. Not fair taking it out on the kids and then saying oh sorry, I THOUGHT it was written down!!

memoo · 01/11/2010 20:30

As your DS gets older and moves through the school he will find more and more that he is expected to remember to do things that have been ask of him rather than it always been written down. If that doesn't happen he would get a HUGE shock when he goes to high school

sims2fan · 01/11/2010 20:30

Is the new teacher an actual teacher or a TA (teaching asistant)? Yes, there are some lovely, lovely TAs (I was once one), but there are also some that don't know how to deal with children very well and end up shouting at them and speaking to them inappropriately (I'm a teacher and have sadly worked with a few TAs like this, as well as some lovely ones).

bloodsuckingLOONEY · 01/11/2010 20:31

Sorry, my last post was following on from OP's last message

pozzled · 01/11/2010 20:32

"I hate homework but if it's set she's entitled to have a moan if it's not done. Not her fault that the other tecaher didn't make it clear before the holidays. She's setting out her stall - give her a chance."

I disagree with this. No, it's not her fault- but it's not the children's fault either and they shouldn't be blamed if the other teacher was at fault.

memoo · 01/11/2010 20:33

How was the other teacher at fault?

Regardless of the way it is usually done, the teacher verbally set them some homework that wasn't done.

Original poster
startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:34

Memoo, I agree, but he's 7, not 10, massive difference.

OP posts:
memoo · 01/11/2010 20:37

But they have to start somewhere.

I actually think the children were probably more upset because it was a new teacher telling them off. Most kids hate it when their usual teacher is away as it is, so couple that with a bit of a telling off, does make for a rubbish first day back.

pozzled · 01/11/2010 20:37

The teacher didn't set the homework using the established procedure.

These are Yr3s, only a few weeks out of Yr2. Yes, they should be starting to take responsibility for their own homework- they should be in a routine of getting home and checking their diaries or whatever to see what needs doing. I honestly don't think it's fair to punish them for not remembering the homework if it was given out in a different way from normal.

Original poster
startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:37

Memoo, out of interest, have you got or had a 7 year old, or are you a teacher? I would be very surprised if many 7 yr olds would remember to do homework handed out like this, as this case proves.

Do you honestly beleive that a 7 yr old would remember on the last day of term to do homework that wasnt written down? I am not being argumentative here with you, I really want to understand why you think the teacher is not at fault here.

OP posts:
memoo · 01/11/2010 20:42

I have an 11 year old and a 9 year old and I have always found that as they progress through school things get written down less often and the children are expected to take a little more responsibilty for things like homework.

I know its a pita, I spend every day after school interegating my DC. Neither of them ever have it written down any more, unless its somekind of worksheet they have to complete.

Not that it matters but I am a TA too. Although not working atm after having DD3

wodalingpengwin · 01/11/2010 20:42

YANBU. They're seven years old and the homework instruction wasn't in the usual written format. The fact that 90% forgot shows that the instruction wasn't good enough. I bet 90% don't forget every other week.

I'm also sympathetic because I can't remember anything I'm supposed to be doing unless I make a written list Confused

herbietea · 01/11/2010 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
startofnewterm · 01/11/2010 20:51

Herbie, I know that the teacher set the homework, but there were very few actually did it, 4 in fact.

If the teachers are trying to get the children to take more responsibility for their homework by remembering to do it when its not written down then I am fine with that.

But, surely its going to take a little bit of getting used to. And doing it on the last day of term when the children have a full week off school, and then shouting and threatening them with missing playtime on the 1st day back is surely not the best way to do it. Especially as this is not their usual teacher and she wasnt the one who set the homework in the first place. She probably has no idea that my DS always hands his homework in on time, she doesnt even know their names yet.

OP posts: