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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to walk 2 miles from nursery in the dark

120 replies

Fibilou · 01/11/2010 17:09

Or am I being pathetic ? DH is at work and says he hasn't got time to drop the car back but I really don't want to make the 4 mile round trip in the dark, 2 miles of which will be with a 9 month old baby in a sling

OP posts:

arses · 01/11/2010 18:19

(I walk about 7-9 miles a day, but really think an older baby in a sling is for ultra-short distances or public transport).

monstermissy · 01/11/2010 18:19

Get a bike as suggested, dh found the one i use in the local tip bit of tlc and it was great. Brought a baby seat and off we go... :) i try and use it as much as possible to save on the petrol.

i think yabu but i understand not wanting to, i think once you get on with it you will be fine.

HalloweeseG · 01/11/2010 18:22

A bike? With a 9 month old and a toddler???

VinegarTits · 01/11/2010 18:24

why dont you just pick her up a bit earlier, before it goes dark? or do the nursery insists she stays until after dark?

yep you are being slightly pathetic

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 18:26

coinoperatedgirl. i am in northern ireland. it is pissing it down and the wind has knocked my shed sideways. i am wrapped up warm and i am inside

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 18:26

vinegartits, it has been dark for and hour and a half.

AllOverIt · 01/11/2010 18:27

I wouldn't want to do that walk with a 9 month old and a toddler, so I don't think you are being unreasonable.

But then I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to going out in the dark.

VinegarTits · 01/11/2010 18:31

oh so it has (i thought she was talking about another day)

get a taxi

localmum · 01/11/2010 18:32

Don't you have a push chair/buggy?

I couldn't walk that distance with a 9mth old in a sling - my back would give out - not to mention my pelvic floor collapsing - but with a buggy it would be ok.

BitOfFunderthepatio · 01/11/2010 18:33

Have a look down the back of the sofa for some money and get a taxi.

I'd do it with a buggy, but I wouldn't fancy it with a sling.

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 18:33

@ vinegartits. you almost had me checking outside just to make sure i was right!!

arses · 01/11/2010 18:33

Hands up who is a regular pedestrian on this thread? I am hoping to pass a test soon but have done masses of winter walking through dimly lit streets in poor weather.

It is really not a rustic, exhilarating experience leading a to cosy hot chocolate in front of a roaring log fire IRL. Even when you don't throw young children into the mix.

I am very that those of you who are suggesting the OP is BU have actually ever done a 4 mile "have to" boring-as-fuck trudge from a to b with young kids.

Merrylegs · 01/11/2010 18:35

W-ell.

If this is only a one-off and you knew there was a chance you were going to have to walk there and back to pick her up, and she was going to have to be in a sling for two miles, I wouldn't have taken her in, tbh.

Or picked her up earlier, while it was still light.

EdgarAirbombPoe · 01/11/2010 18:38

if you were my DH i would call you a big Wussy Wus Wus.

as you are another lady, i say of course he's being unreasonable, it's not fair to expect you to carry the baby that far...

EdgarAirbombPoe · 01/11/2010 18:40

i do take my kids on long walks all the time though. carrying at least one of them. But then i find tht easier thatn sitting indoors with them becoming increasingly naughty.

Original poster

Fibilou · 01/11/2010 18:41

Well I have just had one of the most frightening experiences of my life. I had just left nursery with baby in sling and had crossed the road to avoid an unlit piece of pavement. there was a man standing on his own with a bag of shopping waiting for a lift I assume. He said something to me but I didn't hear him and wasn't about to start talking to him as I was cold and wanted to get home to get Kitty to bed. He then started shouting at me "you fucking bitch", "fat fucking slag" and "go and fuck your own vagina" and then started following me. He must have thrown something at me because I heard the sound of something tinny ricochet off the pavement behind me. I didn't look round and I walked as fast as I could with a 25lb baby strapped to my chest. Eventually he stopped following me. I am no exaggerating when I say I was absolutely terrified. I used to be a police officer and am pretty handy in a fight but certainly not with my 9 month old daughter in tow.

So now I no longer feel pathetic for having been worried about walking home in the dark.

OP posts:

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 18:44

this is why i don't like the dark!!!!

peasantgoneroundthebend4 · 01/11/2010 18:47

Hope your ok that would scared me to

oh and did not think you was quad anyway because I to hate having to turn out in the cold and dark especially with kids

thisisyesterday · 01/11/2010 18:51

arses yes, i do walk. a LOT. and i have 3 children. and i use a sling. usually a storchenwiege for comfort, sometimes a mei tai.

i still maintain i would not have a problem walking 2 miles to/from nursery including in the dark.

no, of course it wouldn't be my choice if i had a car available. but i wouldn't really think twice about it if i didn't.

OP.... that sounds very scary! hope you weren't too shaken up by it.

Booboodebat · 01/11/2010 18:52

God, you poor thing.

Have you got any brandy? Have a dram in some hot chocolate.

Do you live in London by any chance? I've had a fair few similar encounters.

Original poster

Fibilou · 01/11/2010 18:54

My worry wasn't the walk, I pick her up from nursery in the sling most of hte time, we don't have a buggy so I am used to it; my worry was something happening - and I was right. Should have trusted my insincts

I am OK, a bit shaken and definitely put off walking in the dark again !

OP posts:

arses · 01/11/2010 18:56

thisisyesterday, this is my point though. The title is "AIBU not to want to walk 2 miles..." etc. I think anyone who regularly does this (whether alone, with 1 dc, or 2 or 3) and doesn't identify with not wanting to do it is some sort of weird masochist.

I absolutely hate walking in the dark in the Winter. And I've met more than my fair share of freaks like Fibilou mentioned. Never come to any harm but I doubt it's just been merely a bonus workout for the heart. I've earned my stripes to say, I think, it is not at all pathetic not to want to do it. It is tedious and tiring and boring as hell and easily romanticised by car drivers.

I had so hoped to be driving before this winter ((emits long, glum sigh))

Original poster

Fibilou · 01/11/2010 18:56

No, i'm in eastbourne of all places ! Not really where you expect baby-carrying women to have things chucked at them by weirdos.

I was extremely glad to shut my front door on the night

OP posts:

Original poster

Fibilou · 01/11/2010 18:58

thanks for the supportive comments, arses. We only have 1 car and I walk a lot (walk 4 miles and back to take K swimming once a week - in the sling).

OP posts:

pintyblud · 01/11/2010 18:59

How long does it talk to walk the 2 miles home? 25 mins or longer?

Are you at home? If so, why is your child at nursery until 6pm? I can't quite picture what your situation is.

If it's wild and wet, YANBU to feel a bit miserable at the thought of walking about in the dark with a couple of small children. But probably unreasonable to make a big fuss about it

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