to think that that employees with small dc huold have preference on having xmas eve off work?

[pippylongstockings]

I work in an office with over 15 employees - 4 of us have young DC ranging from 11 to 2 years old - Surely at christmas it is not being unreasonable to think that the minority of 4 could have Christmas Eve off work?

BUT No, it is done on a random lottery - why ?

Honestly, I feel christmas is for the children and working til 4pm on xmas eve is not a happy place to be if you have kids at home waiting for you.

YANBU
Pre children when I was in a job that required Xmas Eve working, I always worked it to let a colleague with children go home. One year, we had an elderly great aunt who needed round the clock care for about 6 months. Her 2 sons stayed overnight with her but I relieved them on XMas Eve as they had children.

I think thats really fair enough and no I dont think that people with kids are more important but simply that this particular day is more important to them.

I agree that nobody needs to travel on Christmas Eve, however it would be very sad and lonely to spend the day on your own. Sandinmyshoes if a job requires you to work, you have to work. I agree that if you feel so strongly about it you should not take the job in the first place.

Sandinmyshoes - so you're saying that anyone who doesn't have children doesn't have a "loving family"?

sandinmyshoes, i also would never choose a job that had such an impact on my family but if someone chooses a job that requires them to work xmas eve and they know this will mean they don't get to see family on xmas day then i am sorry but that is their decision and tehy can't expect the terms of their contract to be changed just because they get to december and realise it is their turn to work. it is not me expecting them to do it, they chose that job.

my priorities are not in question here, it is the priorities of those who feel they should get xmas eve off over someone else. travelling to see family is no more or less important than a parent being with dcs on xmas eve. IMO neither should have priority and it should be decided on either a taking turn basis or a lottery scheme. i don't understand how you think that is unfair.

I think the way our work does it is quite fair.

We put a list up for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day (and this year the bank holiday monday as well)

Then everyone puts their name down for the shifts they would prefer to work.

If there is enough people job done. It normally works out OK cos the people with kids usually want Christmas Day off and the people without want NYE off. If there isn't enough people for a particular shift then if you had it off last year you have to do it this year and if there still isn't enough people then it's done randomly.

Maybe you could suggest a similar system at your work?

Don't be so f*cking ridiculous. How dare you want preferential treatment just because you've knocked out some kids. Imbicile.

All people are asking for is equality. If people have to work over Xmas... it's not fair for it to constantly be the same people - whoever that is (unless they hate Christmas and CHOOSE to hide at work). If that means some years you don't get home to spend it with the kids till gone 5pm, if that means some years that someone doesn't get to make it to their relatives - the key part is "some years" in that.

My family and my life, different to yours though they may be, are no more or less significant to me, than yours are to you.

That's all we're saying.

Sandinmyshoes is actually arguing the same point AlpinePosy - I think it might be getting muddled getting across... she has to travel Xmas Eve (train) to get to spend the day with her family. Following the logic of some on here - she should be the one always obliged to work Xmas Eve and therefore never be able to spend Xmas Day with her family (sorry - hands cold cos the heating's gone off so being lazy not typing Xmas out in full). She's made the choice that she works in a job which doesn't require Xmas working so she's not in that position - but if she was - that would be the situation if parents got point-blank priority - she'd never be able to spend Xmas with her family. (I think I've read what you're saying correctly Sand - correct me if I'm wrong)

Alpine Poney - no... I'm saying the exact opposite!!

I have always asked at interview about the employers approach to work/life balance (especially when a single and childless person) as it was important to me to be able to spend major holidays with my family and not stuck by myself. My employers have always looked at the consequences of not giving Christmas Eve off to people, and prioritised leave so that everyone could be with their families. The view being that it would be unfair to expect someone to miss out on seeing their family entirely so that someone who sees their kids every day could have an extra day at home with them. I don't like the idea of working in a team where someone thought I should be alone for Christmas so that they could have an extra day playing with their kids.

When the shoe has been on the other foot and I haven't had to travel then I have always worked Xmas Eve as I actually find it a fun day to be in the office!

My apologies - I thought you were arguing that only those with children deserved to get off "the good days" and that anyone without a child was living a Miss Havisham type lifestyle.

Giving up a job you enjoy because you can't have xmas eve off seems bizarre to me.
I have a loving family, but they are still there if I get home at 7pm having had to work xmas eve pm, and were still a loving family on the years when I used to have to work xmas day.
Chucking in a job that supports your family because you can't be with them on a particular day sounds strange to me.
Families should be able to cope with a bit of flexibility without falling apart.

Yeah - where exactly do I sign up for this hedonistic debauched lifestyle I'm meant to be having anyway? :D

2rebecca - the point wasn't that I would leave if I couldn't have Xmas Eve off, but that if I had to travel long distance to get to my family and working Xmas Eve would mean that I couldn't get there (and would therefore spend it alone and without my family) - slightly different to chucking my toys out of the pram for the sake of a day off. Happy to work the day as long as it doesn't prevent me seeing my family.

I think spending Christmas Day by yourself is somewhat stretching the bounds of "coping with a bit of flexibility".

Can't some of your family come to you? My family have done that for me as i have a more antisocial job re working xmas etc than most of them.

You don't have to hate christmas to not want to take off christmas eve!

In the 20 years I was working I never once took off christmas eve, because, in the first instance, I rather liked working it. Secondly, if I worked christmas eve, it meant another colleague who did take off christmas eve would cover for me in the few days in between christmas and new year.

I did that every year, it wasn't unfair, no one was put upon, everyone got a little bit of what they wanted.

People have different priorities for holidays. Whilst some might think christmas eve is the most important, for others it's the day after boxing day, or new years eve. It's really not beyond the realms of possibility to cater to everyone, without resorting to a lottery system.

I had a one bedroom flat and so could not accommodate the family coming to me whereas there was a spare room for me at home.

I have always travelled back as soon as public transport allowed and covered the days in between xmas and new year to repay the favour - I just needed Xmas Eve off to get home in time for Xmas Day. Never minded working new year's eve as I just got changed in the loos at work and went straight out. Agree that if you have Xmas Eve off there has to be give and take with the days in between. I also used to "go last" with the pick of summer holidays/days around other public holidays as I couldn't be flexible at Christmas.

Christmas Eve is so lovely that no-one should have to work it

Sandi, sorry but I don't think it's a case of you couldn't be flexible, you didn't want to.

Again, I would say a lottery if fair and if it meant you had to work and others didn't want to swap then so be it. If necessary I'd say a couple of family could travel to you or they come and get you.

And yes, I've been in the position where I couldn't get back to my family at christmas and ended up with some friends who asked me to spend the day with them.

No one has a god given right to have any day off, it's making sure it's fair and if people want to come up with swaps then fair enough.

Tootlesmummy - my point was it's never been an issue... my colleagues were aware that working Xmas Eve would mean I couldn't get home so it was never questioned that I should go to my family and they would take the days in between off - good deal for them, they worked Xmas Eve and I worked all the days after Boxing Day up to New Year. Most of them felt that they had a better deal than me! It wasn't just me by the way - anyone who had a long journey to get to wherever they were spending Xmas got priority - there were a few of us who lived a distance away from our families. In return those who worked Xmas Eve got priority at other times of the year... ie sports days, school concerts etc, half terms etc etc.

Sandinmyshoes, I would imagine the reason you've never had a problem getting the time off is that you sound like a considerate person.

Most reasonable people are happy to help make sure everyone has a nice time at christmas, particularly if you're happy to return the favour, which you obviously are.

Having worked all my life in nursing/residential homes, i was always very happy to work x mas eve and or boxing day so that i could spend xmas day with the dcs.I do not expect people without kids to do the "shit shifts" and would gladly work anything apart from just the few hours the dcs were awake on xmas day.However when i became single mum of 4 i was put down to do xmas and just couldnt as had no childcare.It was such an issue and nobody would do any kind of compromise. In the end i was in hospital with kidney infection over xmas so couldnt go anyway,but i made sure i got a9-5 job by the next yr.

this thread has been an eye opener for me. the amount of people (whether they agree with op or not) who think family time at xmas is sacrosanct.

I think my family deserves some sort of award then.

3 dc under7 both dh and I work in a 24/7 service. Both of us will possibly be working xmas day, on opposite shifts and are only likely to have one "big" day off.

Both of us have brothers who work in 24/7 services so neither of our parents will ever have us all there on xmas day because the logistics are just impossible.

We do our best and get round people but we will never be able to have the big family do and our dc will always have both parents working at some point over xmas.

Can't say anyones been traumatised by it.
But it does rather make me smile when I see the fuss over xmas eve.

Sorry but agree YABU, Before I had DC I often used to travel the length of the country to go spend Xmas with my Parents, lots of single childess people do the same, & had I needed to work until 4pm Xmas eve, I would not of had time to make the journey, so yes, YABVU

What utter poppycock!!

You have chosen to have children, therefore you should have Christmas eve off every year ahead of people who have decided not to, or who can't have children.

What planet do you live on?

Should we then pick a special day in the year and decree that only childless people can have the day off and all parents must work?

Just go to work, enjoy a lovely relaxed day at work (I am presuming you are in an office, no one in an office ever really works on Christmas eve) then get home for the last few hours of the day. Lets face it those are the best hours anyway.

nellieisstilltired -i agree with you
it's only one day in the calendar fgs

what about priests/vicars and the children who are choristers etc... One of my friends when I was growing up was the son of a priest, and of course they had their family Christmas on Boxing Day...

Like ggirl said, it is one day. Yes, nice to get a day when all your family can be off at the same time (whichever day that is). Nellie is the one who I would listen to complain, but she's not!