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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that that employees with small dc huold have preference on having xmas eve off work?

332 replies

pippylongstockings · 30/10/2010 22:01

I work in an office with over 15 employees - 4 of us have young DC ranging from 11 to 2 years old - Surely at christmas it is not being unreasonable to think that the minority of 4 could have Christmas Eve off work?

BUT No, it is done on a random lottery - why ?

Honestly, I feel christmas is for the children and working til 4pm on xmas eve is not a happy place to be if you have kids at home waiting for you.

OP posts:
HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 01/11/2010 08:10

You don't need time off to travel to see a dependent surely? If someone is a dependent, then they are living with you/near you, surely?

It's nice if you can have Xmas eve off but it's not a right. I resent this Xmas top trumps stuff.

And the lottery system is fair in that it doesn't allow anyone to guilt trip any one else into giving up their time and it means that everyone has an equal chance of getting the time off. In my experience of rotas, there are some people who book their holidays months in advance so then they 'have' to have the time off, leaving everyone else to work every year.

Tootlesmummy · 01/11/2010 08:10

Op - top tip, wrap your presents before christmas eve!.

Sorry but I think YABVU. When I didn't have DS I was pretty hacked off each year with those with children saying 'but christmas is for children, we have to have the day off to get ready.....'. Ignoring that I travelled over 500 miles on christmas eve to get to my family.

Eventually there was a revolt and we agreed it was a lottery and then if people wanted to work they just wouldn't be included in the lottery. Everyones expectations were set and it was up to them to make arrangements as necessary for what needed to be done.

However, quite often the mothers would be off 'sick' on christmas eve anyway!.

Now I have a child I'm still ok with taking part in the lottery as it's the only fair way, my family my be the most important thing in my life, however, if someone's most important person is a dog/cat or even a goldfish I have no more rights than them.

runningrach · 01/11/2010 08:17

Agree with some other posters that volunteers followed by lottery, while possibly not ideal, is pretty much the only way you can treat people equally (even if that doesn't necessarily mean 'fair').

Taking turns never works as people move on. One year I agreed to work all over Xmas/NY so my colleague could go on holiday, and the arrangement was I would get the following year off (small team - our boss required one of us to cover). In March I booked a holiday to South America for the following year to make the most of the time off, and sure enough my colleague resigned shortly after that, BUT, was kept on as a contractor for another year and she then refused to work over Christmas. The Cow! I was glad I had already booked my trip. We hired someone else who was planning to get married/honeymoon over Christmas so they couldn't ask her to work either. I think in the end no one was in immediately before/after Xmas and the company didn't go bankrupt.

At least most of you get bank holidays at Christmas this year at all. My DH works in Switzerland and if a bank hol falls on a weekend you don't get another day in lieu, so he will only get to finish a few hours earlier on the Friday (Xmas eve) then straight back to the office (not even a life saving type of job!) on Monday, so very little time to spend with our DC1 who will be a maximum of 4 weeks old by then. At least she'll be too young to notice!

Sandinmyshoes · 01/11/2010 08:20

It's a difficult one... when I was living on my own a long way from family (no children) if I worked Christmas Eve I would have spent Christmas Day totally alone so a lottery wouldn't have worked for me at all - I had to leave early if I did work to get the last train home... one year someone threw themselves off a bridge so the trains were all cancelled... my dad (bless him) drove hours to get me from the station and take me home - we arrived in the early hours of Christmas Day. After that I made it clear that I couldn't work Christmas Eve. If I'd been told that I had to work so that parents who lived locally could play with their kids for the day I'd have felt seriously unvalued. I get that it's a time for families, but that makes it even harder for those without families - have a thought for those who have to travel just to have company on Christmas Day before you start proclaiming that you are more deserving of the time off than those worthy childless nothings... Yes Christmas is a time for families... it's also a time for goodwill and thinking of others.

GoreRenewed · 01/11/2010 08:21

I always take a few days off before christmas because I like to get ready with the DC and because it's so hard to take time off between christmas and NY because everyone else asks for it first. Most people like to be in work for Christmas Eve because you get to go home early.

YABU assuming that others don't want the time off regardless of whether the have DC or not.

Sandinmyshoes · 01/11/2010 08:21

*worthless... not worthy... sorry

emptyshell · 01/11/2010 08:29

Those childless "nothings"... are also someone else's children.

In years to come - won't you want your children to be able to spend the day with you? If they have to work Xmas Eve, so can't make trains or travel arrangements to visit you - and it happens year in, year out... wouldn't you feel annoyed?

expatinscotland · 01/11/2010 08:32

YABU

Serendippy · 01/11/2010 08:33

YABU. But you probably get that from the other posts Grin

pagwatch · 01/11/2010 08:41

YABU.

Dh rotates how his staff get xmas breaks and tries hard to make it fair. That includes people volunteering to come in and and getting a bit of leeway later in the year if they want a crafty afternoon or something. Also working xmas eve usually means getting new years off.
But he also started a great thing where he takes one of the kids with him and others who are working can do the same.
So the Dcs go in and get a room to piss about in or DD sits at his desk with him or goes to meetings and gets fed sweets.
The only criteria is that child has to be old enough to know how to behave.
DD loves it. DS1 used to go to but DD took over when she was big enough. Gives me just one at home to spoil entertain.

Sandinmyshoes · 01/11/2010 08:45

empty shell.. err.. that was exactly the point I was making... I was the "childless nothing" I was referring to... the implication being that this is the view the OP seems to have of people without Christmas... should have put in italics or inverted commas to be clearer - sorry...

Scaredandalone · 01/11/2010 08:45

My old work used to say christmas eve off for those with children and new years eve off for those without.

But we were allowed to make our own arrangements like if my childless friend wanted Christmas eve off and I prefered New years eve off we could switch. It worked for us but hoolidays are never completely fair.

Sugarmuppet · 01/11/2010 08:47

When I left school I worked in a call centre, 4pm-11pm. On xmas eve the first person to get a sale got to go home. It was me at 4.05pm! However the lady sat next to me had little children and I let her go instead. Will always remember how pleased she was, made her year getting to see her kids go to bed and spend time with them.

So you never know, someone might be as nice to you! Hope so!

TrillianSlasher · 01/11/2010 08:49

OP come back and answer me this - after the lottery, are you allowed to privately swap shifts?

If you are then it matters not at all that a lottery doesn't take into account people's preferences, because if you prefer to work NYE and someone else prefers to work Christmas Eve you can swap. The only way this doesn't work is if you are wrong and everyone values Christmas Eve the most.

2rebecca · 01/11/2010 08:50

YABU, people needing to travel should have priority on xmas eve because public transport is crap on xmas eve. OK those working on transport want time with their families, but you think they'd do a few late evening flights and trains for those of us who have to work until 5 or 6 who then want to travel 600 miles to see relatives.

2rebecca · 01/11/2010 08:55

Also my kids are teenagers. Why are they considered less important than small children? We travelled less with the kids when they were small as it was more hassle so were less likely to "need" xmas eve off.

emptyshell · 01/11/2010 08:56

Yeah sandinmyshoes I got what you were referring to - I put nothing in inverted commas because, while that's what some might see us as, I refuse to see my existence as such too!

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 09:02

2rebecca, no-one 'needs' to travel on xmas eve, so they dont deserve priority either. it may be very desirable to travel to see family but no-one needs it. YABU for thinking so.

HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 01/11/2010 09:03

Trillian - the OP said this in her last post:

"I work in a retail bank - we work on a rota basis all year so the lottery bit is the main part that really pee's me off - it is not in any way fair.

Yes, I can ask others for the swap and I will do so."

So yes she can swap after the lottery. I still don't see how that's unfair in any way at all. Am I missing something? Confused

AlpinePony · 01/11/2010 09:05

YABU.

TrillianAstra · 01/11/2010 09:09

OK, so you can swap - how is that unfair? If people value different things they swap. If everyone values the same thing it's random. That is fair, it is treating everyone evenly, and it is not prioritising one person's 'oh but I always do X on Christmas Eve' over another's.

Sandinmyshoes · 01/11/2010 09:19

booyhoo... you said "2rebecca, no-one 'needs' to travel on xmas eve, so they dont deserve priority either. it may be very desirable to travel to see family but no-one needs it. YABU for thinking so." Some people DO need to travel Christmas Eve - if they have to work (due to losing the lottery enforced by people who don't "need" Christmas Eve off to get home) and work is a long way from family. Or should single people with no children conduct their Christmas Day via Skype whilst they sit in their homes on their own?

Silver1 · 01/11/2010 09:24

Thankfully it seems that the majority of people on here are sensible enough to realize Christmas goes beyond simply being an entertainment laid on for the kids. The festive period is for people to spend their allocated holiday time, either from a rotation or from a ballot, as they want, without being forced to relinquish it by mummies in a Tizz.

booyhoo · 01/11/2010 09:25

saninmyshoes, if their jobs require them to work xmas eve and it is their turn to do it then yes skyping is what they will have to do. they don't 'need' to travel. i am not saying that travelling is unimportant, i am saying it is very much a want and not a need. the same way as being at home with your dcs on xmas eve is very much a want and not a need. i don't think either should get priority.

Sandinmyshoes · 01/11/2010 09:31

Are you serious??? Expecting someone to spend Christmas on their own when they have a loving family to go to so that they can go to work? Priorities seriously messed up there. Work/Life balance is so important. I would never choose a job over family and feel desperately sorry for anyone who would. If a job prevented me from seeing my family I would leave it.