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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that that employees with small dc huold have preference on having xmas eve off work?

332 replies

pippylongstockings · 30/10/2010 22:01

I work in an office with over 15 employees - 4 of us have young DC ranging from 11 to 2 years old - Surely at christmas it is not being unreasonable to think that the minority of 4 could have Christmas Eve off work?

BUT No, it is done on a random lottery - why ?

Honestly, I feel christmas is for the children and working til 4pm on xmas eve is not a happy place to be if you have kids at home waiting for you.

OP posts:
stickylittlefingers · 31/10/2010 22:25

Parents do have to be really careful with the "I've got children therefore..." arguments. "I have a sick child therefore have to work from home today" is reasonably persuasive (in my job). Being at home on Christmas eve to do luvverly stuff with the kids is obviously very desirable, but not really very persuasive to anyone (other parents would also want to be at home, presumably, non-parents might want to be jet-skiing in Hawaii, also very desirable).

Although my initial stance is - how is the human race going to continue if no one who works is really "allowed" to have children, once it is accepted that I'm allowed to be at work and have children, then everything else has to be a matter of negotiation, surely?

Corvidae · 31/10/2010 22:25

YABU, I have small children and would expect to take turns.

Why are your children more important than your colleagues spending time with their loved ones?

booooooooooyhoo · 31/10/2010 22:27

i don't think it is having no concern for employees. i think it is a case of not allowing employees personal prefernces to interfere with fairness when organising the rota.

and WRT the point of 9-5 jobs as opposed to emergency services etc. i don't think that just because your work in an office (just an example, not saying that os where you work)that you should have the priority for holidays any moreso than an NHS employee. no-one should get priority, regardless of what their job is or what their family circumstances are.

nellieisstilltired · 31/10/2010 22:30

Then you're lucky. It's the bleating and wailing about off duty over xmas that drives me nuts.

We work in a 24hour service but everyone knew that before they started. Ergo xmas is part of the deal and if everyone took a mature attitude it would be much easier.

The gripes start about the beginning of december and continue through.

scottishmummy · 31/10/2010 22:46

parental sense of entitlement is appalling.everyone has needs,parents cant get special dibs

gasman · 31/10/2010 23:01

YABU because you stated your desire in terms of your need to be at home with your children trumping the desires of your childless colleagues.

I still don't think you have understood the point so many of us are trying to make.

Just because you have successfully procreated your needs and wants do not trump those of the reproductively inactive.

I also write on the background of being consistently made to work bank holidays, school holidays and cover colleagues 'emergency' child care disaster days. After a while it does start to wear you down.

FunkyCherry · 31/10/2010 23:07

OP, finishing at 4pm still allows you to do all the things you mentioned; Church, present wrapping, spending evening with them.

MumNWLondon · 31/10/2010 23:12

YABU, no one wants to work on christmas eve.

I had difficult situation though that each year my nanny wanted the days between xmas and new year off, and one year i had to explain to her she couldn't go back to slovkia to spend time with her family as i couldn't get the days off.

Last year DH took DD to work on xmas eve as that seemed to be the tradition for people with kids who were of school age.

newwave · 31/10/2010 23:13

Of course your bring unreasonable, you have no less and no more right to have any particular time off that any other employee that includes the school summer holiday period.

A lottery is fair as peolple leave and join companies.

Clary · 31/10/2010 23:23

Actually gaelicsheep I don't have to work Chr Eve.

I work in a school and so I am off from Dec 22 I think it is. That's very nice for me of course. But I don't think I am entitled to it because I have small children. I get it as a perk of my job I suppose. There aren't masses of others. (luckily I enjoy what I do!)

I agree nobody is saying OP is BU to want to be with family. But it is not OK for those with family to expect what amounts to preferential treatment because they have children. That's just the kind of thing that pisses off those who don't, for whatever reason.

FWIW I used to do the Christmas rota each year for my dept. What a nightmare. I started by asking eveyone if anyone, by any lucky chance, wanted to work Christmas Day. If they did, hurrah (got extra pay and two days off). If not then I would pick someone (sometimes myself) who hadn't done it in last few years.

Similarly for NYD or NYE late shift (which perforce finished after midnight). Yes, I would consider people's requests but luckily even those with small DC were pretty accommodating. I have to say Chr Eve, which never meant a late and always a 3pm ish finish, was small potatoes.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 23:30

I suppose I just feel that the needs of the children to have a parent at home on Christmas Eve should come into it somewhere. Ditto to any other dependants or vulnerable adults - including the need to travel to see them - but the OP was about children specifically.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 23:33

Of course, when my DCs are old enough to have an opinion they may not care either way. In which case I might save the day's leave for another time.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 31/10/2010 23:36

Sorry, but I think YABU.

And it's not because this year I will be working Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve- happily only until 4pm, instead of the usual 7pm Smile

Before I had children Christmas eve was just as, if not more, important to me, because my parents lived miles away and my mum was seriously ill. 4pm is plenty of time to do the whole Christmas Eve thing with the kids, IMO.

LookToWindward · 31/10/2010 23:38

"I suppose I just feel that the needs of the children to have a parent at home on Christmas Eve should come into it somewhere."

Why? And why are those needs more important than said singletons need to be in the pub?

booooooooooyhoo · 31/10/2010 23:39

but how would a manager ever start to prioritise gaelic? say there are 8 employees.

2 with two preschoolers
3 with teenagers (one also with elderly parents)
2 with long distances to travel to be with family
1 with church commitments

how on earth does a manager decide who deserves the time off more than the others? they all need to off for different reasons. are any of those reasons more important than the others? honestly?

hubblybubblytoilntrouble · 31/10/2010 23:43

You sit down as a group and discuss it.

Everyone can't have the whole period off, obviously, but some people might prefer the time off after christmas, some before, some after new year.

Most reasonable people can manage to reach a compromise, they might not get everything they want, but everyone should be able to get something they want.

booooooooooyhoo · 31/10/2010 23:46

I'm talking about xmas eve hubbly. the day in question in the OP, not the whole hoilday period.

onceamai · 31/10/2010 23:48

YABU why should your contract of employment state different terms to those of your colleagues because you have children? Do you expect there to be other inequalities too?

hubblybubblytoilntrouble · 31/10/2010 23:49

Well given the choice, most people would want all of the time off, including christmas eve, but since that isn't feasible, then some would be happy to give up christmas eve to have the time off between christmas and new year.

Give and take.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 23:49

"Why? And why are those needs more important than said singletons need to be in the pub?" Because they are children or other people in need. Surely that point is not contentious!

Booooooooyhoo - I completely understand the practical difficulty/impossibility, and I'm sure it could never work. Informal arrangements between colleagues are the only way to resolve it. But a lot of people are dismissing even the principle that some people might need the time off more than others. The need of a singleton to be in the pub is as valid as the need of a child for its mother? Come off it LookToWindward.

kat2504 · 31/10/2010 23:50

Children actually have no more need to have a parent at home on xmas eve than they do on any of the other 364 days of the year. Don't mix up what you would ideally like with what kids actually need.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 23:51

Isn't hubbly's point that someone like me or the OP who really wants Xmas Eve would be perfectly prepared to work other days over the holiday? So it's about give and take.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 23:52

Nobody needs to go to the pub ever!

booooooooooyhoo · 31/10/2010 23:54

agree hubbly, give and take. but the OP was wanting priority because she has children, she wasn't wanting to negotiate it.

kat2504 · 31/10/2010 23:56

precisely, noone needs to go to the pub at xmas. So in those jobs that don't shut down for a week or two, the people who want to spend time with kids, and the people who want to go to the pub, and the people who might actually like to do a bit of both, or those who would like to go away on a holiday with their partner, they should all be prepared to take their turn and compromise and not expect any special favours because they think what they want is more important.

Yes, people should be able to sort it out amongst themselves, but I bet that doesn't always happen in real life so management have introduced what they feel is the most workable system. If you don't like it, you could always look for a job where being at work on xmas eve is not necessary.