To hate being a housewife/homemaker?

[domeafavour]

I love being a mum, but hate hate hate the other stuff that comes with it.
The washing, drying on the line, on radiators, in a dryer that creases everything, the ironing, cooking , cleaning.
Sorting bills, car tax, direct debits, fixing everything that goes wrong. Organising, re- organising. Bring responsible for every bloody thing in the house.
Cooking, so sick of trying to think up new meals. Lost all appetite, don't even want to eat anything I cook.

Can't wait to go back to work, can you tell?!

YANBU! I too HATE every single sodding bit of housework. I love my kids, I love being with them. But I hate the fact that just because I gave birth to our DC's, it somehow automatically means I also get lumbered with all the domestic drudgery of housework. I have a degree and a professional qualification. I am a full time SAHM partly because I wanted to and partly because after having DC's I was too ill to go back to work and so had to resign.

I have a cleaner who touches the tip of the domestic drudge iceberg once a week and I might do a few bits and pieces if I feel so inclined. I like cooking so don't mind that side of it too much, although everyday cooking of DC's teas falls into drudge territory rather than enjoyable cooking.

I keep dreaming of building a lovely studio apartment in our back garden and finding ourselves a lovely housekeeper to live there and take over from me in being the general dogsbody around the house.

Shirty, get yourself a cleaner and don't keep it a secret. Housework is not women's work despite what your DH may believe, it is up to you to educate your DH correctly if he is misinformed about this.

Well if it's any consolation I have it pretty easy and still find it a bore sometimes. We have cleaner, dh does help lots with housework, bills etc. It's the cooking that does me in. It's so boring and I'm fed up eating the same meals month in month out.
Yes Chopin I sympathise as I too have degree and PhD and has an exciting career that I had to leave due to ill health.
Would love to work at some stage but I agree that at the moment that would be far too hard.
Besides your dc are only little once so enjoy. I love discovering all the little moments with dc.

Glad I'm not alone!

DS is 8 months and I'm going back to work when he's 11 months. I can't wait!

I love DS with all my heart and love spending time with him, but feel like I have cabin fever being at home so much.

Can't wait to get back 3 days a week and stretch my brain a bit.

Some of the older women I say this to look like me like I am bad mum, but I just smile at them and ignore them. A happy mum can often = a happy child.

YANBU at all. I honestly think I would get seriously depressed if I was a SAHM, and I mean no disrespect here, as I imagine many SAHMs would probably find my job/lifestyle equally depressing. Different strokes etc.

But I disagree with those here who have said 'when you work, you still have to do all that housework as well'. Somehow, it doesn't work like that, especially if you:

1. Have a partner who does 50%
2. Never iron, as others have suggested! Total waste of time.
3. Make quick meals, in huge batches for the freezer that can feed you for several nights.
4. If at all feasible, get cleaner. I would -and do - make many financial sacrifices in order to continue with cleaner.
5. Generally cut corners.
6. Do grocery shopping online in your lunch hour at work, if you have the kind of office-based job that allows you to.

Thank you, I'm glad a lot of people can sympathise. I do have dh but unfortunately he works long hours and is exhausted so I'm not going to ask him now. He likes cooking and will sometimes do that at the weekend. He won't mind if I ask him to put on a wash load. I hate my washing machine, it's a washer/dryer and honestly everything comes out creased. I don't iron any of ds clothes unless special occasion. I love cooking, but just find it hard to find new things to cook and the leisurely time to do it. It's always rushed.
I fully intend to get a cleaner and send as much to the dry cleaner as possible. So I just need to find a lovely cook who would come in for maybe an hour a day and have something prepared to go in the oven? Any takers?!!
DS is 3 next week, but still wakes up at least once and wants me.
Anyway I will be eternally grateful for being able(financially) to stay at home for those 3 years, he gas been an absolute joy to watch grow up and I will treasure every memory.

I am a SAHM and after 4 years very bored of it. Love the DC but fed up of housework (even though have a cleaner once a week), preparing food - I used to love cooking and beginning to loathe it (DH will not cook lived on ready meals for years before I met him), its the planning not the cooking that kills me off.

I have two pre-school children, when kids are home most of the day they do create alot of mess. When they are at school/nursery/childminders for a large part of the day they just don't create the same level of mess. Also schools and nursery feed your kids at least once if not twice sometimes three times a day so that is alot of the work you are free from.

Being a SAHM saps my energy and if I have one more toddler group type conversation I will scream.

I would not advise my DD when she grows up to give up work. I would not do it again to be honest and am looking to going back to work soon once eldest at school and youngest at pre-school.

YANBU, I am a SAHM (had a couple of part-time jobs) and not very domesticated, after five minutes of doing housework my mind wanders, but I agree with domeafavour I treasure the time spent with my dc now 5 and 8, but I just need some variety.

I've shrunk the voiles and I'm not very tidy.

I'm looking for a job, especially as we don't know how much longer dh's job will last, but until one turns up I'm going to do more volunteering. I just need some variety then I might cheerfully tackle the chores!

I hate being at home on my own with DD. It's not the housework, it's the lack of other adults. I love being part of a team at work, discussing the news, having a laugh, but when I am off with DD it's the two of us and Beebies. We usually just go and look round the shops, go to the park and I seize any opportunity to talk to someone!

If I hadn't gone back to work when she was 1 I think I would have had to make a big push to find like minded other mums to go out with during the day.

One thing that really helped me was having one set night a week where I went out straight from work - fantastic - left work when I felt like it, sauntered around the shops, had a coffee, came home to a tidy house, dinner on the table and a sleeping child - bliss.

Ooh yes Sarf, dh planning on picking up ds from nursery 1 or two nights, supposedly so I could work a bit later if need be, maybe I'll pop out for sneaky glass of wine with my new colleagues!

Another housework hater here!! I just went back to work full time, and we are getting a cleaner in a couple of days a week pretty soon. My DH is wonderful about helping, but I HATE that we have to spend a lot of our weekend catching up on housework instead of having fun with DCs.

I NEVER iron...DH does his own work shirts, and most of my work stuff doesn't require ironing, fortunately.

YADNBU!!

Oh god. I'm not even pg yet and you've all terrified the living shit out of me.

Backs away from motherhood before she ends up a domestic drudge. Is it really that bad?!

I hate doing mindless chores - Id rather be at home "homemaking" ;)

A1980 - no, it's not that bad if you have a partner who understands that they are able to help out, that it's only fair for them to help out and that you are not "sitting on your arse doing nothing" all day (AKA looking after the baby/children)

If you have a partner who believes that they, as "sole breadwinner", have earnt the right to sit on their arse the minute they walk through the door then indeed, back away from motherhood with such an antediluvian male chauvinist.

I do wonder sometimes about the relative ages of SAHMs who are 'happier' with being such - if I had been a SAHM when I was in my 20s, I might have been keener to get back into the workplace; but since I had worked for 25y already by the time I had DS, I was less bothered about it. But then I didn't have a glittering career with big bucks salary, so maybe that contributed too! Who knows...

No, you are not being unreasonable. It has taken me years to cope with the drudgery of it all. I find the resourceful cook website here helps me to plan my weekly meals, I have a regular routine for housework (would definitely get a cleaner if I could afford it) and now that my second DS has started school I am finally getting time to myself and doing some work. Plus the house doesn't get so messy anymore because the children are out all day.

Looking after small children is utter drudgery, in spite of how much you love them, but it won't last forever.

think dh is probably scared to come home tonight. texted to ask if i had forewarned the plumber i've arranged for this evening is aware of what the problem is in case they can come supplied with parts.

was so intensely annoyed at implication of my stupidity that i called him to ask which part of my being housewife meant that the skills which have allowed to me run international, national and conurbation services he thought had dropped out of my vagina with the children.

I work from home and end up running the home by default as DH works long hours and is away.

I find every aspect of cleaning/tidying/washing etc mind numbingly dull. I don't understand how anyone with half a brain doesn't.

Sooooo I outsource everything I possibly can and do as little as possible of what's left.

yeah yabu

just throw yourself into learning this new job the way you would any other
luckily no real performance standards and you can't be sacked
(you can also never leave so a two edged sword there)

i'm miles away from being a housefrau but am taking a full mat leave this time and learning the art of it all
you are def busier at home than at work and you need to be very organised and systematic

thankfully you have a job to return to

i see it as a challenge but i have so much respect for those who are at home ft. It's an endless thankless v poorly paid role

also for all those who say that you have to be brainless to enjoy it, I disagree

i get a sick satisfaction from cleaning the skirting boards
cleaning out the herb cupboard
sorting out the belts and ties etc

treat it like a job for a fixed contract and try to do it as well as you can and try to implement as many new workflows rationalisations etc as you can

it'll help when you return

I find I can just about stomach a few chores during the afternoon play on Radio Four.
At other times, my brain just explodes.

Yup, I agree, it is boring as feck.

I speak as a previous SAHP (of 4yrs).

Rannaldini people like you make me feel guilty and I know that is not your intention either.

But how on earth do you get pleasure at cleaning the skirting board? I would love to be able to do it. I clean the house out of fury that no one else will do it and cant wait to run away from it..

Please teach me!!I will listen, promise!

yanbu i left my job in July after the guilt of having ds3 in childcare from 14 weeks finally got the better of me. He goes to school nursery in the mornings the idea being we could spend the afternoons together. Except im really wanting to get another job now, hate hate having less money and not being able to do the things with him i want to do cause of cash flow. I adore my kids to the ends of the earth but hate the mundane that comes with it. There is only so much tea and gossip with friends you can handle before it all becomes rather dull i think.

a few people will be inspired to clean the skirting boards and enjoy it whether or not they are SAHM or go to work.

Most of us think its another pointless task we probably should undertake,but the whole day seems to be filled with pointless tasks.