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Original poster

To feel like the worst parent in the world today )-:

52 replies

mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:10

because I shouted at my baby last night Sad, not even once, but I shouted shut up several times because I was absolutely delerious Sad

have been up 3 nights in a row, hes not ill, or in pain because as soon as he gets into our bed hes off like a light. I had been trying to soothe him for a while and just felt horribel after Id shouted.

Apparently my dd (14) mentioned it to dh this morning Sad and dh rang and said 'hello psycho' Sad although he didnt mean it because we have had a rule with all 3 that whatever happens in the middle of the night, stays in the middle of the night (after me and dh saying particularly nasty things to each other in the night out of tiredness).

I would just like some support and to be told that someone else has felt like this (probably no one else has done it Sad) it took me over an hour to get to sleep because I was so upset

OP posts:
sparkle12mar08 · 21/10/2010 12:14

Shut up? That was it? Okaaay, I won't tell you some of the things I've shouted at my babies in the middle of the night...

In all seriousness this is totally normal, and you really do need to get a grip on the guilt thing - it's toatlly unecessary to beat yourself up like this. Truly Smile

NordicPrincess · 21/10/2010 12:14

everyones done that, try not to feel bad

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:15

it wasnt just shut up though (well it was) but it was in his cot (not from another room) and several times like a loon Blush Sad

OP posts:
phipps · 21/10/2010 12:16

A lot of us have begged our babies to go to sleep in words that weren't the best. Stop beating yourself up about it. Have your dh do the night shift tonight so you can get a full nights sleep.

Hawkmoth · 21/10/2010 12:16

Yes done it. Then left them crying in cot while I go in other room to cry. Not often, but just one of those occasional things when the well is dry and nothing else comes into your brain than "SHUT UP!".

Take heart in the fact that you're bothered about it. If you weren't that would be a concern.

cornflakequeenie · 21/10/2010 12:16

Oh moss, it's perfectly ok to feel ike this. I had a bad night a few weeks ago, it was 2:30am in the morning and DS would just not settle.

I said some very horrible things to him and my dh that night, out of pure exhaustion. I felt bad for a few days, but made it up to him with lots of love and hugs (he's 8 months)

I hope you feel better about it soon x

izzywizzywoowooo · 21/10/2010 12:17

People do worse to their kids OP. You were stressed and tired...Don't beat yaself up.

Rosedee · 21/10/2010 12:18

I've shouted like a loon to my son in the middle of the night. We all have. Your baby won't remember and will love you just as much anyway. Please don't feel bad it does happen.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:18

Yes I know people do worse, but I dont, it was a terrible thing to do, he cant understand.
I think I feel like he's just wrapping me round his finger at the moment, rather than it being illness or pain etc which is different

OP posts:
JinnyS · 21/10/2010 12:19

No I'm the worst parent in the world today.

You don't even come close :(

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:19

btw thanks for all these lovely posts, are you all just trying to make me feel better?

OP posts:
Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:19

oh jinny why??

OP posts:
proudnscary · 21/10/2010 12:20

It's called 'losing it'. We all do it on occassion. It's not great, it's not best practice but it happens because we are human. Don't feel too bad x

JinnyS · 21/10/2010 12:20

Because I am trying to reason with teenagers.

I'll leave it at that :)

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 21/10/2010 12:21

Hey there Mosschops,

You are definitely not alone...I remember doing that once too. I was on my own with a sobbing baby and an upset pre-schooler and it was about 2am and we'd all been awake for about forty-nine million hours.

It was definitely a low point and I was horribly ashamed afterwards (still am). But everyone survived, nobody got hurt, we were all friends in the morning and I am probably the only one of us who even remembers it. If it was happening every night then of course it would be a problem (and would mean you need more support and help). But if it's just a one-off, it's really the end of the world.

I can't believe your DH phoning you up to call you "psycho"! What an incredibly insensitive thing to say to a sleep-deprived mother. I hope he's apologised.

Try and get some rest today and take care of yourself. And forget what your DH said to you, okay? It's not true. You had one bad moment, and we're all entitled to that.

ItWasADarkAndStormyNight · 21/10/2010 12:21

I feel :( today too, shouted at my baby last night too, exhausted.

TanteRoseFromTheDead · 21/10/2010 12:22

no, we've all done something similar - please don't worry.

Can he not just sleep in your bed? if only for a few nights, just so you can all get more sleep?

go and give him a big cuddle right now - it will make you feel much better!Grin

BlueFergie · 21/10/2010 12:22

Its OK don't worry. When my two were newborns I am sure I shouted shut up at them in the middle of the night. I vaguely remember calling my DS a bastard as well Blush. Too sleep deprived to remember properly. He is 21 months now and loves me anyway.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 21/10/2010 12:25

we had a million kisses at our music class this morning so we are friends again Smile I know its just me who remembers (and dh and dd of course Blush)

jinny every morning is spent with me arguing with teenager so I can feel your pain. Its all a bit hard work at the moment

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 21/10/2010 12:25

When DS4 was a few weeks old, XH asked me one morning "Why do you hate your baby?" I said what did he mean. He said he'd heard me cursing at him for hours and calling him a "wretched baby". Mm yeah... DS4 was a really lousy sleeper. I'd walked him up and down, up and down the bedroom, crying with tiredness, and yes, saying "go to sleep, you wretched baby" (and "I love you but I wish you'd sleep", and any kind of nonsense in between, but of course his fond papa only heard the cussin').

So, I said, if you heard me crying and cursing for hours, why did you not wake up and take a turn, and maybe give me a break? Er I wasn't really awake as such, he said hastily, I just woke up for a minute and heard you.

No he didn't have work the next day either, before you ask.

Angry

Oh, er, what has this to do with the OP? Just that unless you've been that parent servicing your baby all bloody night until you're so knackered you feel like the Living Dead, you just don't get it. It passes though, it passes. Try not to shout though, as it may wake him up more. Just sort of... mutter. If you can.

Tee2072 · 21/10/2010 12:27

We've all done it.

Just bring him into your bed. You'll all get a lot more sleep.

sparkle12mar08 · 21/10/2010 12:27

I think I love you Annie!

TheLadyEvilStar · 21/10/2010 12:30

OP This was me on Sunday

anonymousbrainsnatcher · 21/10/2010 12:31

Do NOT beat yourself up.
You are NOT the worst mother in the world

You are a completely NORMAL mother.

Poor you, just hang on in there. You have older DC, you know it WILL get easier (though different challenges of course! Hmm) and you will get more sleep soon.

Good luck...

LadyThumb · 21/10/2010 12:31

We've all done it, I can assure you. Said a lot worse to my ExDP when he moaned that I couldn't stop the baby crying at 4 a.m.!

Worse thing I ever did was stumble to cot, get baby out for feed, tried to get get down our very narrow, steep stairs and caught DS's head on wall! Still feel guilty about that years later and wonder if that caused his ASD!