to be pissed off that my sister thinks I'm a selfish careerist bitch while she polishes her SAHM halo?

[motovacuum]

The snide comments about self-sacrificing mothers (and the fact i'm not one) are never-ending.

I work 100-hour weeks on about 20K, as does my partner. I have done for the last 15 years. Sometimes we have to dress up in the course of our work, so we have some nice clothes. Mostly we wear jeans and jumpers. We do not get any help from our parents at all and haven't since we were at school.

My sister lives 5 minutes away from mummy, and she and her dear PFB are constantly being bought expensive designer label stuff by my parents - and house deposits, new cars, new computers, whatever she bloody wants. This afternoon it was two pairs of shoes each - the 2yo's shoes were over 100 pounds a pair, god only knows what my sister's ones were. Mum was delighted to have spent the money, Dad thought the shoes were lovely, etc etc. My sister's husband thinks it's great (possibly because he doesn't have to pay for his and his family's expensive tastes?)

I'm currently "home" (gritting my teeth in my parents' house) trying to get work done, while my sister comes round every five minutes to slag me off for being selfish, spoiling myself with nice things because apparently I think I deserve it because I don't work myself to the bone for my darling child (because I don't have children yet). I wore a nice coat to a meeting this afternoon, and had to listen to a tirade about it - and she got her PFB darling child to rub jam into it.

and yes, this is partly in response to the opposite-number thread currently in AIBU. What is in the minds of you people ?

Potato waffling @ Mackerel

OP thank you for starting a hilarious thread which has put a smile on my face for the first time in an otherwise shitty fortnight.

Giving the OP the benefit of the doubt, she might not need a time machine if she's not posting from the UK?
But that doesn't stop her being VERY unreasonable!

I thought that guacamole but she mentions pounds, not dollars or yen or whatever.

Oh indeed she does! You are all very eagle eyed!

I cant imagine this is all true I can understand that bits of it may be but to be honest just think of it that you can stand on your own 2 feet and you support your own child.

It is nice to be bought things every once and a while from parents etc but personally if it was me I would begin to feel like I wasnt supporting myself or my child :)

Akshully, people, if you search on her other posts you can see that she is for real (or she has been plotting this thread for a while) and she is feeling a bit down so perhaps we should back off a bit.

Yeah, have just done a search. Poor motovacuum

Sometimes we have to dress up in the course of our work

What on earth do you do for a living? It sounds absolutely fucking bonkers.

If you are for real then grow up. The only people I know who sound this petualant and silly tend to be under the age of 18.

so what if the gramps want 2 get things for the gc's they r kids....you are an adult and im sure that when n if the time comes your future kids will recive nice things. im not sure if you realise how immature this who thing sounds

so what if the gramps want 2 get things for the gc's they r kids....you are an adult and im sure that when n if the time comes your future kids will recive nice things. im not sure if you realise how immature this who thing sounds

Mackerel Brillant can you write some more pls pls pls. Sorry motovacuum you are funny1 Did you stomp about as a kid going its not funny stop laughing at me. If you haven't got kids and are working so hard what are you doing on this site instead of enjoying your freedom and running around having fun! Don't get it!

Your niece only has 9 pairs of handmade of designer shoes - poor little mite

MV - having read some of your old threads I can now see why you're so upset.

Have you managed to find anything new to move into? How much longer do you have until you and your DP move? It's very very likely that all the stress of work and family stuff has contributed to the TTC problems, so maybe the move will give you some breathing and head space. Is there a chance that you could take a break from work after the move and just let you (and your body) have some time out to recover? It might be the best thing for you.

You are jealous. Simple really. I love the way you call your nephew "the toddler". Lovely.

You're a tenured academic on 20K? Where - University of Monkeyland? Even a postdoc earns more than that. And how many smart clothes does an academic need - I never see any.

Haven't read any of your other threads - but if you are ttc - then you are allowed to rant!

I do think the OP is plausible. She could have been doing her PhD part time while working in the field in a low academic position. That take up 8 years, plus 5 years for BSc and MSc. It is quite plausible that she might be an early career researcher and be on £20,000 for a 100 hour week.

Anyway, my advice to the OP would be:

1. Hardly anybody thinks that academic work is a proper job. Get used to the fact that almost everyone in the country thinks you're just messing about doing nothing sensible, useful or particularly constructive.

1. You seem annoyed about your financial situation. You have to accept that most academic research is not well paid and is insecure. You have chosen to pursue this role and there isn't really any reason why your parents should be offering you financial support or gifts.

1. Your sister has children. Because of this your parents are grandparents, and grandparents are often keen to spend money on supporting their grandchildren. You have no reason to believe that your parents will not do the same for your children when you have them.

1. Your comment that your sister is receiving handouts is sexist. Her husband is supporting the family through working while she supports the family through providing childcare.

1. I've done the 'work' that both you and your sister have done (although didn't have the academic work and the toddler at the same time, thank goodness). One is not easier than the other.

Okay, to prevent more MNers making twatty comments, this is what my searching uncovered - MV is TTC, but without much success. She is not happy in her job (and hasn't been for a while), but is moving with her DP/DH somewhere else and was looking to find something else to move into (which she isn't so miserable about).

In that context, the rant on this thread looks a lot less unreasonable - I could totally understand why her sister's comments and actions would rile her.

Oh.

To be honest I thought it was just a joke thread, as there are so many others on a similar theme.

I am a SAHD
I know nothing of halos
Do they do them for dads as well?
where can I get one?
Do they do them in brown?

Agree, Abs. I read your Employment thread, MV, and it's obvious that you feel backed into a corner and very sad. Have you tried telling your sister that? Maybe you could support each other, since you're clearly both anxious about the implications of life choices which aren't always made with total 360 degree vision (or, indeed, powers of clairvoyance). Good luck.

dwain Had to make my own I'm afraid but it has got tinsel on!

Offensive not offencise grins

I apologise to the OP for the rudeness of my previous post.

OP for goodness sake get some counselling it's awful to feel this angry at your sibling for having a child and having a husband that supports her. I can't believe she called you selfish, can't imagine in what context she would.