to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

[LovestoLove]

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1.

Saying that people who allow their children plastic toys have houses that look like charity shops is rude and unnecessary.

Of course we all make decisions for our children but as an old lady, all the children I know who had controlling parents (and that's what this is about) who banned things only meant their kids wanted whatever it was that all the other children had and they were allowed, even more. Presumably by the time they're 10 you're not going to insist they play football with a felted ball and a crocheted net?

were = weren't

HeadlessLadyBiscuit you talk about controlling parents, but don't all parents shape their children's lives in the early years? You're allowed to watch X amount of TV, you're not allowed to play computer games/ you are allowed to play computer games....you can eat fast food/ you can't eat fast food...etc etc. It all comes down to control in the end...and choices that parents have to make. Why should a type of toy, wooden or plastic make any difference? Or is this just because it is going against the mainstream?

oh, and by the time they're 10 they will have moved on from toys and none of this will matter any more as long as they have toys it doesn't matter what they are made from, but I didn't like the way MN's jumped on the OP and laughed and made fun of her, perhaps my dig about charity shops was in rsponse to that.

And you're saying now that just because a parent might make a choice about the material a toy is made from we're being controlling, isn't that judgey? Why aren't parents who only choose plastic toys, because wooden ones are far too expensive, being called controlling? It's all a choice/control, do parents choose plastic or wood...toys with characters/toys without characters? It is all control/choice when children don't hold the money and have the final say in purchases made during their early years?

sungirltan thanks for bringing a balanced view to this. My mother still has a vintage fisher price cooker up in the loft that the children still play with when they go and stay!

my family have happily excepted our choices and have been very supportive too. Alot of the wooden toys have been purchased by them as joint chirstmas pressies.

oh, and sungirltan have you seen the Yoga Pretzel cards? I have been doing them with my two DD's this morning and they were loving it! They are beautiful to do with young ones.

poppyboo no probs! (it was mostly because i didn't have time to read the whole thread though ;-))

its true though - one needs to assess the appeal of the toy over the material it is made from. BUT i do think a lot of plastic toys (vtech etc) have far too many bells and whistles which kind of do the opposite of stimulate the imagination!

i will google yoga pretzel now - thanks for recommendation :-)

Vintage fisher-price??? But that's plastic 5My DS plays with the F-P house I had as a child. As did all his cousins :)

My DS had a lot of wooden toys when he was a baby but he now chooses his own toys as he's 3 and they aren't generally wood. Even that psycho felted soap woman's son loves cars more than anything else. I just find it bizarre that any parent would decide on the quality of a toy based on what it is made from. When my DS was young, some people bought him eastern european wooden toys and I had to throw them away so really not longer lasting at all. Give me fisher-price any day :)

sungirltan, i've just checked the box and the title on it is:
Yoga Pretzels
50 fun yoga activities for kids and grownups

I really, really recommend them, they are based on proper yoga breathing techniques for example and one card will be all about a snake and breathing in, holding for 3, and then breathing out while hissing like a snake. The kids adore it, even my 2.5 year old.
And different animal poses step b step...they are really great!

you're right about the appeal of the toy, i wouldn't stop my older girl having lego if she asked for it.

yes i know its plastic - it was just to illustrate the point that wood/plastic often last the same amount of time.

i generally like fisher price but i draw the line at disney fecking princess - i will go all mental if people try to push that on dd

I don't think it was the choice of wooden toys per se that invited the response, but the wooden-toy-snobbery and falling over buckets of plastic toys attitude that was offputting. Most people who have children have had their floors covered with toys at some point and I think the judgeyness about having to pick your way carefully through a house where children live for fear of falling over their toys was evident in the OP.

There is nothing inherently right about going against the mainstream.

If you don't want to fall over toys in your own house or anyone else's, watch where you're putting your feet, and if having a lot of plastic lying around offends you, pick it up and put it away at bedtime. I have lived through long stretches where the sitting room was colonised by towns made of both wood and plastic building materials -- they are equally difficult to clean around, equally a PITA to step accidentally on in bare feet, and equally hard to see underfoot when 30 weeks pregnant.

i just found them on amazon - think i will order they are only £6 and dh is v into yoga.

i love lego and expect my old duplo is still in good ocndition. i asked for duplo for dd for her birthday - wanted dh to bring it back from denmark where he's working but apparently it is super expensive over there!

mathanxiety - i'm not a childminder - i can't sue myself! anyway i'm sure that like most parents, i use my own judgement on whether a toy is safe for my child, i wouldn't rely solely on kite marks etc, either way.

is that second hand toys out as well then?

oh sungirltan, please order them, if she is very into yoga she will LOVE them!

My DD's like to play with Duplo at there nanny's house who lives locally. They have alot of fun with it.

It's not just the obvious condition of the toy. You can't tell just by looking whether there's some chemical in the finish that would be banned nowadays. Regulations have only been in place since the 90s.

And it's not just a matter of suing or someone suing you. It surely matters if your own child is being exposed to lead that may lurk in an old toy?

i don't know one parent who ONLY chooses plastic toys for their children poppyboo.

most ar balanced individuals who have the good sense to provide a wide selection of toys based on the individual child's basic preferences.

it's called common sense.

'oh, and by the time they're 10 they will have moved on from toys and none of this will matter any more '

This is very sad-moved on from toys at only 10 yrs old?! (maybe they are fed up with the wooden ones!)
I think that you are muddling two different things. I am not talking about batteries and flashing lights etc, I was meaning plastic garages, Noah's Arks, dolls Houses etc and they do exactly the same as wooden ones-they are just made from a different material.
Is a 4 yr old remotely bothered about how they feel to hold? Not in my opinion, they want to play with them and use their imagination. I think people are viewing it from an adult view point rather than a DC who couldn't care less what it is made from.
I agree that wooden are much nicer from a adult point of view, but DCs haven't got to that. Mine are older than 10 yrs but I can assure those of you that have younger DCs that they had not grown out of plastic tat by 10yrs. They also had their own money to spend and friends who will buy them for presents. How will you stop it-and should you? Why can't DCs find out for themselves that wooden is best?

Well maybe 10 years old was wrong, but i cartainly don't remember playing with toys by the time I had gone to secondary school at 11 years old? I remember reading, drawing, crafting and making things and being interested in nice clothes/fashion etc etc

My Lo's have a wooden dolls house , does it matter its not pink and plastic? they don't want a plastic garage, they're not into cars!
And a 4 year old might not be able to verbalise that a wooden toy is nice to hold, but will enjoy it all the same!?!

thanks for the link

'It?s extra important that you check all used toys before you give them to your child to play with, and then keep an eye on them periodically to check for breakage and potential hazards.'

this is my least favourite expression, but common sense no?

piscesmoon - agree, i don't think i binned all my toys at 10 :-)

oh, blinks, come on, i bet there are thousands of households that only have plastic toys in the house, just because that is the mainstream thing to have and easy and cheap to buy, and really it doesn't matter! It is a parents choice what they buy their children in the early years!
But people who want to buy wooden toys or who have a certain ideal shouldn't be bullied by people or jokes made at their expense just because they have done something different and gone against the mainstream which is what happeded to the OP.

We do have a mixture of toys, they are made of wood, cloth, silk, wicker,glass, crystal, enamel...and plastic play-doh tools

That tattybumkin lady was on dragons den, she didn't go down well far too flaky.
Poppyboo- some parents just seem to be far more controlling than others. Dictating what material your child will play with is very controlling. Telling others what they can and cannot buy for your child is again very controlling. Some parents feel the need to control everything. Do they get nicer, happier better children for it, I very much doubt it. I did a quick google and found no evidence of it other than from stores selling wooden toys
Toys that make noises and lights tend to be to promote dexterity not imagintion. They reward the child for making the right movement or putting the right shape in the hole etc, so encouraging them to do it again.
Wood was used for toys because there was no other materials to make toys out of, not because it made better quality toys or promoted more imaginative play.

My mother and sister used to work for a company that imported wooden toys from czhecoslovakia back in the 60s through to the 90s, they were very cheap and certainly not the greatest of quality.

My dcs had a mixture of toys but it was the lego, pokemon cards, cuddlies and play pop up tents, scooters and bikes and nintendo DS's that proved the real value for money.

I have nothing against wooden toys DCs had them, I just doubt the play value is any greater than a lot of other toys. I just see a sense of smugness, "look at me aren't I a wonderful parent because my children are not allowed to play with plastic." type thing.

My DCs have a pink wooden dolls house that they loved when we saw it in the shop; it was a Christmas present one year. They have got great mileage out of it. They love the fact that it's pink and they chose it over the plain models that were also displayed.

I believe it's also very true for children that "a little of what you fancy does you good".

I think I would like you as my Mum, bruffin . People should listen to the voice of experience-it is really hugely unimportant! It is much better to have a mix of toys than a controlling mother! The DC doesn't care! Certainly the younger they are the less they care. Mine liked a saucepan and a wooden spoon better than any toy anyway!

"Mine liked a saucepan and a wooden spoon better than any toy anyway!"

LOL I have a lovely picture of my DD aged about 1 sitting in the middle of MIL's kitchen surrounded by everyone of MILs pots and pans.

I also played with dolls into my teens but I don't think I would have admitted it to my friends

bruffin - i don't watch dragon's den. i have attended tatty classes for almost a year. apparently that dragon's den thing was just recently, so facebook informed me, so forgive me if i made up my own mind about it's value. also, so i'm told, DD did not show the classes.

meanwhile i worked in a holiday scheme with 4 - 12 year olds all the way through my degree. it was an excellent test of the value of toys :-) i can honeslty say that most popular toys by a long shot were brio train sets for the little ones (wooden) and for the big ones toy food and a toy till. the kids would play with this (mix of many different materials) and pretend it was a cafe or shop for HOURS! we had evety toy imaginable but that was the one they fought over. otherwise they all prefered games which you have to sit down and play with them or arts and crafty type activities

:-) at 'a saucepan and wooden spoon'. so not plastic and with no bells and whistles then.