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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

632 replies

LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 16:18

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1. Grin

OP posts:
NormalityBites · 21/10/2010 18:44

I don't have a house full of plastic tat. Why on earth would I - just because I have a 4 year old?

We have lots of lovely wooden toys including ostheimer/myriad and the like. We have lots of wooden vehicles, wooden blocks, a wooden train set, wooden kitchen, wooden dolls housee.

We have lots of lovely plastic toys. Lego/duplo, play-dough set, playmobil, happyland, remote control car and helicopter, plastic dolls.

We also have woollen dollies, fabric dollies,play silks, a dressing up box, a seasons table, musical instruments and an art and craft cupboard.

DD doesn't crave plastic or wood. Why would she? She hasn't ever watched ads on kids TV and to my knowledge has not yet been in a toy shop. Toys are valued for their play qualities here but at the end of the day I'm in charge of what comes in and what stays.

bruffin · 21/10/2010 18:52

"but at the end of the day I'm in charge of what comes in and what stays."

Who do you feel the need to be in charge of something like that?

ColdComfortFarm · 21/10/2010 18:55

I think Normality has a very nice sounding selection of toys for her dd. My youngest would be happy with that. Tbh I think arts and crafts stuff is the best things for little girls. Mine could/can never get enough.

ColdComfortFarm · 21/10/2010 18:56

I do find parties fill your house with crap tbh. I'd love to say, no presents but I can't - too antisocial!

bubbleymummy · 21/10/2010 18:57

well she is the parent! Are you going to let your child have everything he/she wants? Inappropriate DVDs/ games etc included?

ColdComfortFarm · 21/10/2010 18:58

I have the fisher price record player but it's really (shh...) for me! So retro!
For parents of under fives, there is a lot of cool kid points for having certain toys once kids are at school. I agree to some toys because I know there is kudos when kids come to play.

FrameyMcFrame · 21/10/2010 19:05

Every home should have the king of plastic tattery...

The Little Tikes Cosy Coupe. :)

Probably the most popular toy ever. My DD still tries to get in it and she's 9.

ColdComfortFarm · 21/10/2010 19:07

ha ha, I 'salvaged' ours on the street, and then left it as a present for the new owners of our new house!

HauntingTheTardis · 21/10/2010 19:08

Larkinsky - I'd suggest that balls probably should be plastic and not wooden. Though you can probably still get the odd leather football.

ColdComfortFarm · 21/10/2010 19:10

ouch at wooden balls! (oo-er missus)

bruffin · 21/10/2010 19:20

"well she is the parent! Are you going to let your child have everything he/she wants? Inappropriate DVDs/ games etc included?"

No, where have I said that. My DCs didn't get expensive toys unless it was their birthday or christmas, then they usually got what they asked for if we could afford it.

What I don't get is the need to dictate what others buy for your children or if your child really wants a toy for birthday or christmas that you can afford, why deny them it, just because its made of the wrong materialHmm

As I said my dcs are teenagers, they are unspoilt, do very well at school, are kind and caring and everything I wanted them to be, despite being allowed to play with "plastic tat" when they were little and playing bratz or action man or whatever some parents feel the need to disapprove of.

They have had the odd video game that is outside the age, but I have played it first and have gauged whether it is suitable.

Parenting brings so many decisions , what toys they is very trivial in the realms of it all.

bruffin · 21/10/2010 19:24

"The Little Tikes Cosy Coupe."

We hnad one of thoseGrin

Actually the best value toys I every bought was pop up tents and tunnels. They lasted and were played with for a good 10 years until the mice ate them Sad

bubbleymummy · 21/10/2010 19:28

bruffin - you asked why Normality felt the need to be in charge of what came in and what stayed. This would suggest that you don't feel that same need so that was why I was asking you how you would react to inappropriate dvds etc coming into the house and staying if you didn't feel the need to control them. Apparently you do exercise some form of control over what your DCs play and watch though so I'm not really sure why you were questioning Normality on why she does the same thing as you do - albeit with slightly different boundaries.

NormalityBites · 21/10/2010 19:30

Why would I feel the need to be in charge of what comes in and what stays?

Because I have a small house with no dedicated play space, anything that comes in has to take up my living space, be found a home, will be visible at least some of the time, and if it is ugly, annoying, gigantic I don't want it in here. More importantly, with the limited space we have available the more multi-function toys we can have, the better we all like it (ie lego, playsilks, blocks)

I can't speak for older children as I don't yet have one, yes we have plastic toys but they are not TAT - if any tat comes here it goes straight back out again. It is not an unrealistic goal for OP to want to avoid the tat - I can honestly say we have for 4 years and children do not come encumbered with huge amounts of it contrary to the opinions on this thread. When she is older she may well really want certain things I won't deny her. But decisions will still be made on quality multi-faceted play with quality well made items. Whatever they are made from.

GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 19:31

Oh you can't do that! Honest, you will be ver grateful for colourful plastic toys. Just so that you will have some colour in your otherwise trashed garden Hmm

BTW wait till your baby is about 11 and wants an X-Box. They don't do them in wood Grin

RustyBear · 21/10/2010 19:38

I used to think like this, and DS had some lovely wooden toys.

But that wonderful ethically sourced chunky wooden tipper lorry hurt so much more than a plastic one would have the first time DS rammed it enthusiastically into my shin. It disappeared soon after...

piscesmoon · 21/10/2010 19:39

I agree entirely with bruffin's common sense approach.
My DCs didn't get everything they asked for-in fact they never asked for much at all. We could happily trot around toy shops without them expecting me to spend a penny. They had far less toys than a lot of their friends. I tried to fit in with what they wanted for major presents.
Mine are now teenagers-they were described as kind and caring all the way through school and other parent's liked having them because they were always polite.
I can't see why you feel the need to control what other's buy-WHY? Sometimes people asked me, but mainly they got a surprise. They were all age appropriate so there was no reason why they couldn't have them-because they 'offend mummy's idea of good taste' seems sad to me. Mummy may like plain wood and not bright purple plastic but it isn't a present for mummy!
Of all the decisions to make in parenting I agree with bruffin-it is trivial in the extreme. If Great Auntie Mabel buys a a set of plastic stacking beakers it is a kind thought-they have the same play value-it is very unfeeling to hide it away because it doesn't fit your beautiful, adult ideas for a nursery.
Parents may try to control everything but I really don't see why they think they can control Granny, Auntie Mary or their friends over present buying!
Buy all your toys in wood or natural materials but it won't hurt to have the odd bit of plastic!

bruffin · 21/10/2010 19:41

Nobody has every bought my dcs age inappropriate toys or videos, however that is completely different from banning an age appropriate toy.

GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 19:42

We've been given some crap over the years! It's not just family that do it. When school-age birthay parties begin it opens up a whole new world of plastic junk!

SE13Mummy · 21/10/2010 19:44

My SiL has stipulated that only wooden toys are welcome across the threshold of their gadget-ridden home...we generally ignore it unless the gift we wish to buy happens to be wooden. You run the risk of someone deliberately choosing plastic tat to wind you up if you're too picky. My DD has decided to give 'wooden toys only cousin' a hideous styling head for her birthday because she thinks cousin would love it. And she's right. They don't do them in wood!

If you live in a first floor flat you can, IME get away with asking close relatives to avoid anything that makes a lot of noise; we did this after a different SiL gave 3 week old DD an horrendously noisy, battery-operated drum with an American accent. She changed it for something different and we've not been given electronic toys sinceGrin.

piscesmoon · 21/10/2010 19:44

I did mention school age birthday parties earlier! That will be a fun time-open the presents and confiscate them! Sad

bruffin · 21/10/2010 19:44

Piscess I think once your children get to teenagers, common sense takes over. Once your child had been mugged or carted to hospital a few times, your realise how insignificant some things are and you get a bit of perspective on their childhood.

Marchpane · 21/10/2010 19:45

Yeah yeah I said all that too. And I'll show you what happened...

I'm going to post a pic on my profile of my house just for this evening. Special bonus point if you can spot the baby.

piscesmoon · 21/10/2010 19:45

I have to say, evil person that I am, that if I had directives I would go all out for plastic!

piscesmoon · 21/10/2010 19:47

I think that the one thing you can do is look back and see that you were being precious, bruffin- and if you can't see it the DCs tell you!

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