to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

[LovestoLove]

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1.

Stangirl - there are many versions. Mainly to do with what Puppy is doing rather than "calling".

[hgrin] kungfupanda

Yeah, but the problem is that when you get a load of "experienced mums" (, also quite a twatty phrase) being all superior, it's just like a group of sixth formers ganging up on a first year.

I don't think the OP is that judgy-pants, I think she just doesn't like plasticky crap (who does?) and is at a stage where she is just imagining a future where she makes decision about these things.

I really did find it completely arsey when I was pregnant to have all the "hilarious" bless-you'll-learn-fool-you-can't-go-back-now crap. I didn't even have a sodding plan, I was as laid back and "will take it as it comes" as you like and still had every Tina, Dawn and Harriet opining about how I would never shower/pee/sleep/yada yada again.

It was an irritant, and a boring one at that. It really plays into the stereotypes of "mums" being a bit cliquey and smug and competitive.

I don't think it's serious, just very boring and twee.

My dses are teenagers, so I have missed out entirely on this Puppy thing - what is it and why is it so dreadful? Or am I going to regret asking??!

It is an award winning Vtech walker with an activity centre on it. It is pure plastic tat and sends small children into a frenzy. It has an irritating sing-song voice and every time you go anywhere near it, it launches into the "Hello Puppy calling" song. And then randomly announces things like "Puppy says clap your hands" or "Dance to the island beat".
It isn't quite as bad as the Vtech laptop which occasionally asks from the depths of the toybox "Are you hoooooome?" in a slightly sinister way....

Which goes back to my original question arses - why bother asking? If you aren't interested in what people who have been there/got the shitty nappies to prove it have to say, don't ask. I agree the tone leaves a little to be desired though

"Which goes back to my original question arses - why bother asking? If you aren't interested in what people who have been there/got the shitty nappies to prove it have to say, don't ask. "

Well, hello sixth-former!

I didn't ask anything!

Don't go there Haunting! Or, if you really must see here. My eyes!

The day I told my work colleagues I was pregnant (which I did very shyly as I was quite nervous about it all, having had an early bleed), I had one colleague who literally told me - very seriously - I was a total fool if I thought I would enjoy it and that whatever image I had ever had of my new baby I should smear shit all over it and then imagine looking at it through a vale of tears.

Then she laughed. Heartily.

I thought it was pretty shitty.

Am I allowed in the common room even though I am a first year? Or are opinions only for the older girls?

My sister only allows her DC to have wooden toys and dolls made of natural materials, and she doesn't let them watch TV.

I find it really annoying and am not even sure I could explain why . Partly it's because she is so holier-than-thou about it - she manages to convey her disapproval of those of us who muddle through with plastic crap and hours of TV very efficiently. Partly I feel irritated that if I want to buy her DC a present, it has to be approved - she can't be gracious and accept a present she doesn't approve of; she will just reject it. Partly, I think it boils down to what a lot of you on here have said - it all seems to be about what she wants rather than what might be best/most fun for her DC.

Do I have ishoos or does she??

"I really do think I'll be a good mother and won't give into tantrums, is that so hard to believe really?"

times ten.

Do get real, dear. there's a good girl.

Sleeping lion. Your sister is all "holier than thou" and yes, it's all about her, not them. Stick with it sister.

Dementedma, I laughed so hard about the pens from the bookies that something shot out of my nose and now I can't find it [hblush].

Would like to add that while I allowed my standards to drop wrt plastic, Barbie, and even The Lion King 2, I have always drawn a firm line when it came to books.

Why do some of you think it is so impossible for a child to be satisfied with non-plastic toys and that they all throw tantrums until they get them? DS might play with plastic tat in other people's houses/playgroups etc but he never asks for it. When he does mention something that he likes, e.g, a marble run, we don't run out and buy him the first plastic one we see, we make the effort to look for a wooden one and guess what - he loves it! Ditto kitchen stuff, instruments, stacking toys, blocks, whatever. It's just easy to find a plastic version of what your children are looking for - but it is not necessarily the only one that is out there! You'd be surprised how many wooden versions of popular toys there are.

FWIW DS doesn't watch TV either, just the occasional DVD. I'm not holier-than-thou about it but that is the way things are in our house and I hate the implication that I am somehow depriving my children of a wonderful childhood because they don't watch bloody cbeebies every day and play with junkie toys!

You didn't ask arses, the OP did. Stop being so disingenuous, the colour really doesn't suit you darling.

Our house is very much like bubbleyummy's/ Although DH makes the toys they would like mainly. Wooden toys are lovely and last really well - which is fab when you have alot of children like we have.

We have plastic things too, and yes the kids like it. But they usually break or get so annoying that I have to get shot (yes, we have the puppy walker - grrrr!)

You are possibly being PFB and idealistic. But as long as you don't judge others - why not aim your standards high?

BTW, I always wanted a house full of good books, and kids who are equally happy reading as doing any other activity. And guess what, we have that too. Not cos we want to be better than other people, or because I have forced the kids to do nothing but read. But because books genuinely are fab, and I have read to my kids and encouraged them with books from a very young age (months old)

YANBU OP to prefer wooden toys, but your OP does sound a little, well, smug (sorry!)

We did all have ideals before we had children, and I would never rubbish anybody else's ideals, but it does seem like you are saying that only environmentally ignorant don't-care parents, who give into tantrumming and feed their kids whatever the hell they want, just to get 'em to shut up, would allow plastic toys. I think that's why you've ruffled some feathers!

Me? I had ideals that I was confident I could make happen, but I didn't announce them to others, just kept them in my head, as I was aware that it might not work out the way I planned. As it happens, some came to fruition, others didn't (I have 3 differently faddy-ish eaters, but they all sleep well, to name but a couple!)

I don't think you are crazy to think your son or daughter could happily live without plastic toys. And it would be lovely to have a house devoid of "bucket loads of plastic toys" to fall over. But my children have a mix of both, and many of their favourites (or even can't-live-without- thinking ds's dinosaur collection) are plastic. Now, I am no great lover of plastic dinosaurs (especially when ds puts the smaller raptors in my shoes- those guys are pretty spiky) but they make ds happy. And I love to see him happy. So I let him have them. I even gather them all up from various locations 40 times a day without swearing out loud. Maybe you will achieve your aim, but I think what most people on here are saying is that you shouldn't be too closed- minded, that's all.

Glad I'm not the only one Pumpkin. :) we managed to dodge the plastic walker things thankfully! We found a lovely wooden pushalong car walker with a beeping horn, key that turns etc. DS2 loved it and it has been put away (still in great condition) for DC3 whenever he/she ever comes along :)

Meant to add, wooden doesn't necesarily mean eco friendly, or ethical.

Excellent post jooly

Thanks Pumpkins! I am right with you on the books front, on the other hand- they are a must in this house too! (although many of them now feature dinosaurs. sigh)

I went off and did a little googling, and found some really lovely wooden kitchen things - though you'd need a lot of space for the cooker, dishwasher, fridge/freezer, washing machine and sink unit - and the child would have a better kitchen than mine!!

There's some lovely wooden toy food on that site too, that I would love to have a chance to play with - in fact, can I ask LovestoLove very nicely - please will you get your dd this lovely stuff and invite me over to play - pretty please - I will bring cakes!! [hopeful smile]

why is wood good but plastic tat?

who made this decision?

Have skipped ahead from page 6, but...

I had a friend who only wanted 'neutral coloured' toys for her ds. I thought it really weird (like op) because it seemed to be treating the child like an accessory in her life. It seemed really narcissistic. What will you do when your child wants to dress in clothes that you don't like, study subjects or take up activities that you don't approve of or live their life in a way that you didn't foresee? Your child is their own person not an extension of you. I don't like branded clothes, but ds loves clothes with superheroes on them, so I let him wear them because it makes him happy and it is an expression of what he likes. I feel the same way about pink, and at the moment I can limit it with dd, but I know soon she will be choosing her own clothes.

Also, I recently had to go and buy a bribe present for ds for completing a star chart (something I'm sure op will never have to do). I was short of time so popped into one of those fancy stores that sell mostly wooden toys. The toys were beautiful but there was nothing ds would like and certainly nothing for under $40. So I had to dash to the department store and buy him a little plastic spiderman on a spiderbike. Oh the happiness! He carried spiderman around and slept with him for a week. I would rather that he was happy than I looked sophisticated.

Btw, by 'neutral' she meant beige-ish, not gender nonspecific.

lol with all respect, wait a year or two and see how you won't give in to tantrums and give copious amounts of whatever shuts up the little mouth that's been screaming at you non-stop for the past 48 hours [hwink] A lot of us were really principled once. Before DCs!

As to the plastic tat, I think you can very reasonably ask people to buy wooden now. But be prepared to give in later, unless you also want to be principled RE the amount of toys your child will have. Which in itself may be a good thing - they don't play with half of the toy box load anyway!

Another thing you'll find when your child gets to around 6 months or so, the best 'toys' that keep them occupied for longest aren't actually toys. Cookware, shoes, curtains, paper, your skincare pots, etc etc.. so why splash out on toys when there's a whole world to explore? [hsmile]