To think this wedding will be horrific?

[peakythepoltergeist]

Ok, I genuinely want some opinions and and to see if anyone else has been in this situation.

I have a 4 month old baby and my BIL is getting married in December, my DP is best man.

The wedding is to be a huge Irish shindig, you know the score, 300 guests, mahoosive posh hotel etc etc.

I was initially so excited, but am now dreading it.

It is a 2 hour catholic service - and I am expected to stay there for the duration - I politely asked "DS is unlikely to stay still and quiet for the service, is it more important for me to be there at the beginning or end?" told, be there for the whole thing as you can stand in the side or go outside if he gets restless.

Main issue however, is the six course dinner. I am not allowed at the top table, and I do not know anyone else to sit with. When DP asked his brother if he could sit with me and DS, he was told "no. absolutely not. I need you next to me, and if you cant do that, then i will ask someone else to be my best man" DP was really upset by this reaction, explained that he wanted to help me with our son, crawl control, feeding etc. BIL replied "she looks after him on her own everyday, whats the big deal?".

So I will be eating on my own, trying to control DS, then going to bed with DS at 7. Great.

I have to take him to Ireland as its the inlaws chance to see their grandchild at Christmas, and I cant leave him with anyone there as i dont know anybody, and he is EBF.

Aaargh! Really dont want to be the awkward one, I am fine with the 4 day stag, but what can I do???

I would take pram/buggy to the reception and put DS in when he is tired and then throw blanket over the front of it. You'll be surprised at what they can sleep through!

I did this with my DS at BIL's wedding and it worked really well.

Hope all goes well, agree with previous poster, there will more than likely be a "crying chapel" if you would rather not sit in main congregation or are worried about noise. But honestly it should be fine, by the way bring an extra bag to put all the "sweetie money" your son should make at the reception. Certainly enough to buy momma a new pair of shoes

It sounds similar to my bil's wedding. H was best man too. I had three to shepherd on my own and knew no one on the table.

It wasn't my best day. Throw in the bride telling me she was sure that the version of our marital problems everyone was talking about were just one side of the story, and my day was complete.

Barely saw h all day. And yes I was miserable.

But we survived! The dcs had a lovely time, everyone was pleased to see them. I did my duty, and I am glad I did despite the day itself.

Irish wedding too.

Don't forget that having the only baby there will mean you will be utterly clucked over. There will plenty of offers to help. There really will.

It'll be grand.

I have only had time to read a few comments but the general consensus seems to be that you're not being unreasonable! In my humble opinion - not that it counts for much - is that you most definitely are. This is your brother in law and his bride to be's day and surely you should be doing all you can to put your own wants and needs to one side and do your very best to put up and shut up. You are making an absolute meal out of the sitting arrangements. Never in my life have I been to a wedding where the best man is not on the top table, baby in tow or not. You will be sitting yards away from him for God's sake! Can you not leave baby at home, let your hair down and enjoy what sounds like a fantastic shindig of a day? As for the church why on earth can't you take two hours out of your life for a family wedding? And for God's sake sit at the back of the church so you can take your baby out if needs be.

Sorry if its been mentioned already, (haven't read whole thread) - but at 6 months your DS may well manage a highchair, thus leaving your hands free to eat your meal. You can perhaps give him some bits to gnaw on - I found with DS that I could get through a whole restaurant meal plying him with green beans to keep him quiet. So it might not be so bad....

went to BIL's wedding with ds1 aged 2.5 and poorly - have the sad, big eyed photo to prove it! and ds2 at 3 months, ebf.
DH was best man and tied up all day.
was OK overall but exhausting. We ended up outside during the speeches; ds1 ran around and ds2 ate milki...