to ask guests to bring a dish instead of a present to a wedding?

[iNEEDaWHINGE]

Trying to plan a wedding!

We are thinking about having something really informal.

Wedding in a gorgeous old palace/castle place.

It has hug grounds with a loch and playpark for the kids. everyone goes there during the summer for bbq'a /picnics.

I want to do the ceremony, and all saunter the 20 yrds out into the park area and have a bbq/pinic.

No real dress codes, people can be casual if they like, we just want our friends to be there and actually enjoy the ceremony.

We dont want them to obligued to spend money on outfits.

My real question is... AIBU to ask them NOT to buy us any gifts. And just bring a dish along for the picnic/bbq.

we are aware we may get nothing but 16 cheesecakes... but we dont really care. as long as there is something to eat.

afterwards... those who want can join us in the local or head back to the house for drink.(only 100yrd walk)

I went to a wedding last year. We were all given either a salad, main or dessert to bring. The food was fab.

The b&g
Don't drink but were happy for others to drink- and it said to bring alcohol as well-there was masses of lovely booze.

Do this if your family and friends are good cooks!!

I like the idea though..

I think it sounds a lovely idea. You could make it more varied by suggesting everyone brings food starting with the first letter of their name ... or something like that.

Great plan - go for it!

Cool idea. Can I come?! Everyone will love it, esp the kids. But plan b in case of rain? My bro got married in the US and it was similar and everyone had a wonderful day. Good luck x

Friends ofmine did this. said they couldnt afford to feed everyone but wanted everyone to be at their wedding and could people bring a dish instead ofpresents.

the buffet table was huge, lots of lovely food.

go for it, sounds like a lovely setting,

"Well that's true KiwiKat. I'd save a lot of money and time bunging a quiche on a plate and bringing that instead of taking the time to find a gift for the OP and her husband that would be something she would like, use and would have a sentimental attachment."

There's no need to be sarcastic. I expect the OP and her partner already have everything they need and, if they are anything like me, don't really care for nick-nacks or other "useless" presents that serve no useful purpose.

When my aunt and uncle celebrated their golden wedding anniversary they also asked for "no presents, but a contribution to the feast would be very welcome". Same aunt (now a widow) recently celebrated her 80th birthday and again asked for "no presents, but your presence" and asked (very nicely and politely) for finger food contributions.

Maybe I am just more practically minded, but bringing food to a wedding is a present because it saves the bride and groom the headache of organising the catering themselves.

I agree with Bunbaker. If the bride and groom have asked for food for a party then it is a present. It has the added bonus of being what they asked for.

I had a clear out a few years ago of the carefully chosen wedding gifts that people gave us. It made me realise how little people knew us :) I wouldn't mind but I didn't want any presents - I just wanted people to come and celebrate our day with us

Nice idea, but the practicalities seem haphazard and if it was me, I'd be wondering about:

Where are the loos?

What if gatecrashers turn up? Naughty kids from the village turning up and nicking the food?

Who will set it all up/get the bbq going? Will they miss the ceremony to do this?

If it's a wash out, one of the main factors of the picnic, al fresco fun, will be impossible.

And, OP, you sound a little bridezilla in saying if your guests don't like it, you don't want them there...

Sorry, it sounds ,like my idea of wedding hell as so much is left to chance and the elements. I went to a wedding in March, bride picked venue miles away from where everyone lived because you can get married outside. Rain came down in sheets, relentless (it was March though) and it all seemed like the wedding that took place was the wedding the b&g didn't want because of the rain [hhmm] and guests had massive journey there and back all to keep them happy, but no one dared say anything as it was their 'big day' ...

oh - and let's not forget BOOZE!

You'll be needing bath-sized containers of ice to keep it chilled, won't you?

It's your special day to do it your way! I think it's very creative- perhaps make a food list instead of wedding list and then you wont end up with 20 pasta dishes :) GOOD LUCK!

Personally I would absolutely love this kind of wedding [as long as provision is made for the weather changing, after all this is the UK!] .Personally I would much prefer it to the formal sitdown reception sort of wedding.I suppose it won't suit everyone, but then nothing ever does.

I went to a wedding like that and it was great. Transported lemon and almond cake from London and had no problem with doing that.

The food was fantastic - lots of variety and it felt like everyone made an effort.

Sounds like yours is a smaller event thatn the one I went to but worth asking a couple of people to organise getting everything out, unwrapped etc.

They also had electronic list, and actually allocated things to people.

e.g we would like Essie W to bring cake that feeds 8-10 people and 2 mangoes for fruit salad.