to be rather down after this phone call??

[anonymousbrainsnatcher]

The world has not ended.
No one has been hurt.

But I just spoke with my parents for the first time in weeks. They've been away, back at the weekend. They left a message. I called back. They literally had nothing to say to me. I had loads to say to them (but I didn't just launch straight in, gave them a chance to speak about their trip, but said absolutely nothing) but they could not have sounded less interested if they tried. They didn't even ask how the DC or my DH was. Not even mentioned any of their names.

I was telling Dad about some stuff that is going on and all I got was "OK" and "good" (in flatest voice possible). And then "here's your mother". She actually took the phone, said hello and then ................................... deathly silence. And not even how are you, how are DC. Just "so what's going on then.".

They have never really shown any interest in anything that matters to us. How hard would it be to ask after DC (I kept mentioning half term, dropping loads of hints), or even DH (dropped loads of hints there too - HE IS OUT OF THE COUNTRY - not even an "oh where is he, when is he back"). Absolutely nothing. Mum has never been a great communicator, but Dad is normally breezy and chatty.

They are coming to stay this weekend. The whole point is that THEY. ARE. COMING. TO. SEE. US. Mum actually said "shall we stay in a hotel". Give me strength. They have stayed her gazillion times before, we have room, it's not like they sleep on the floor. They get guest room and bathroom.

WHY ON EARTH would she suggest they stay in a hotel?

Oh, I'm probably emotional, but it's really got me down. And I've had such a great week. Was really on a high.

Let it go over yer head. No bigger, it just feels it at mo. Go distract yourself and I'm sure you'll be nice n relaxed by wkend n all forgotten. Til the next time!

Maybe you called at a really bad time, eg in the middle of an argument?

Maybe something is wrong in their lives ?
Just wondering whether they are not talking much because of stress or illness or something else.
Sometimes its hard to be chatty if you have your own problems.

Tubby - possible! Hadn't thought of that. They aren't generally the arguing type... but yes, perhaps caught at an awkward moment (not one of THOSE types of awkward moments, of course!)

Fat glass of wine right now, will distract me Flojo!

Sorry, I think I just needed to vent!

Are they normally like this?

It sounds odd if your dad is normally chatty.

you're not being unreasonable to feel down. i take it they live far away from you? my dh's parents live about 100 miles away and he speaks to them every week on the phone - for about 10 mins! if that was a friend he would be on the phone for half an hour or so.

re hotel - may be they don't want to be a burden on you, or they may, like my MIL, can't cope 24/7 with dc because they are not used to it. my mil loves my ds but she is the first to admit that she is glad when we have gone home/ she has gone home, dont get me wrong i know she has loved spending every minute with us but she is not used to having to cope with ds and it tires her out!

re trip, maybe they didnt have such a good time and neither want to admit it?

or may be you caught them in the middle of an argument/ disagreement when you rang back?

i know i am probably clutching at straws but just wanted to cheer you up a little,

If you've had a good week and are feeling on top of the world, it's likely your parents just weren't in the same place as you - they maybe can't read how good you are feeling and everything's just as normal as them.

My mum and dad recently suggested staying in a hotel instead of with us. Bizarre! Especially as we live in an area where the hotels are the kind of establishments that house people who have just got out of prison/are waiting to be rehoused by the council! I think they were genuinely being polite as it's easy to feel like you're imposing if you are staying with a family with young children.

Just try to remember that how your parents behave is not your fault, and you can't expect to read their minds. Therefore, try not to second guess what they might be thinking or feeling - you're probably making things harder for yourself than they need to be. My mum was always a little cold and distant when I was growing up and I have since always had a feeling that there's something I've done to upset her that I don't know about. Don't get me wrong - I love my mum and we had and still have a really good mother-daughter relationship. But I now know that she is how she is and I am how I am. Simple as that.

Phew! That was a bit deep and meaningful but I hope it's some reassurance. All parents do weird stuff and I'm pretty sure your kids will think the same about you at some point!!