I lived in Egypt for 3 years. I couldn't settle, I couldn't accept life there. It was torture. I tried.
It would have been so much easier for me if I did just say OK, this is Egypt, I can accept it. I couldn't. I couldn't accept the role women have in society. I couldn't accept the role men demanded in same society. I abhorred the way children are brought up.
Much of my ill-ease was to do with 'H'. I know. At best, he couldn't be bothered to help me integrate, at worst he actively prevented it.
i tried to learn the lingo. I learnt Portuguese in 4m when I lived in Brazil, I taught myself spanish (OK so it's not great, but I can communicate and understand) spoke some french, german. Brazil was very different, very difficult to understand to begin with, I struggled with the poor/rich thing, with the haves and have nots, but in the end, I understood how things were, I learned that life is not always fair, but that at least you can keep fighting and keep hoping life will improve. Once I recognised the faith and hope present in that society, the self-deprecating humour, the fun factor, I loved Brazil, and in the end blended in seamlessly. I embraced the culture, it was fun, and very warm.
2 things prevented me from learning to speak Egyptian. The first, 'H' decided I was spying on him 
; the second everyone that came near me tried to either get something out of me, money, steal possessions, or say that I had said/done something to get me into trouble with H. So that was that. The only hope there is that they can take something from someone who has, rather than go and work hard. There IS no spirit, no fight left. I learnt within the first few months that I was better served if I could shrug and say I don't speak your language.
LOL on the salad cream. I would get HP sauce and Heinz baked beans... at £2 a can.... equivalent of £20 in their money...
75% of the failure to adapt was culture, 25% was H with his control issues. I have a friend out there still. She has a supportive H and money is not an issue, she has a great house and all the trimmings, but is pretty much as miserable there as I was. She just isn't abused on top of her gilded cage life. I know another girl who like me, hated it and dosed herself up every day with sleeping tablets to get through another night, sleep away as much of life there as possible. she has to go back at some point, she is already having nightmares.
It's a truly sad existence.
Most of settling into a country is our own attitude. I couldn't do it in Egypt. I know some can, I have my own pet theories on the success of those who do make it in Egypt, with a H from there. It helps if the H is hugely supportive, makes allowances for the sacrifice of giving up all things familiar. Without this, it's pretty much doomed, unless she gives up all recollection of everything she ever knew in the UK. Which some actually do do.
If the H is also an expat, I think it also helps, cos you are both adjusting to a new scheme of things.
For a expat/trailing spouse to settle in a culture vastly different from her own, there has to be a support network, her H first and foremost, a friend - you only literally need ONE friend to make life bearable, trust me. I've been there. Oh and an open perspective, and willingness to give things a go. I was and I did, but literally got punished for trusting anyone. Every time.
Funny enough, My sister will be returning from living in the US, where she has been for 5 years. She liked life there, house, car, had her daughter, has friends, big job, rubbing shoulders with some very famous people. She liked life, but didn't ever love it.
Strangely for her, and she is the most inclusive and open person I know, she didn't have that many US friends. she found she didn't connect with them on a level she was used to connecting Brits/Europeans. They were fine superficially IHE, but not in depth. Consequently, many of her friends were actually British.
She does have a couple of good US friends, but actually, these people are very deep, very caring and possibly viewed as pretty alternative by their fellow Americans.
So she made her home there, but it wasn't actually HOME, IYKWIM.
I do love my country, I do love Britain, I love and admire the men and women that fought so hard for equality, and continue to do so. I know that with freedom comes responsibility, and I take this seriously.