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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think people who don't bath/wash their DCs every night are lazy?

365 replies

BigMommaOf4 · 18/10/2010 22:11

I am shocked by the amount of people on here who state that they only bathe/wash their DCs once or twice a week. OK bad cases of excema accepted, I just think that's soooo lazy. No one IRL I know leaves it that long so is it just a peculiar Mumsnet trait because they are too busy MNing?

DTS1 has excema btw, I just cover him in an emollient before he gets in the bath and it does not exercerbate it.

I mean, come on, babies and toddlers in nappies, older Dcs not very efficient at bum wipeing - how can people leave them to fester for days?

In the 'olden days' when tin baths had to be got out and water boiled in a copper pot, obviously it was not possible every day but nowadays that's not the case.

Also my DCs love RELAXING in the bath/shower. It's not only for cleanliness. They love feeling warm, clean and comfortable before getting into bed. Even my 12 week old starts getting excited just from me taking him upstairs of an evening because he knows he's going in the bath and he adores it.

Do all these people, who only bath their DCs twice a year, have a bath/shower every day themselves? Bet they do! Feel sorry for the poor DCs.

OP posts:
Giddyup · 18/10/2010 22:26

Dullard.

BatBrainsPumpkinHead · 18/10/2010 22:26

or applying polish to her beautifully manicured hooves?

Francagoestohollywood · 18/10/2010 22:27

Bidets, bidets, bidets... that's the secret.

megapixels · 18/10/2010 22:27

Don't be silly. I used to bathe my oldest everyday as I am from a hot country, but when I came to the UK and had my next baby the GP specifically asked me not to do that as it is not necessary in this country.

As for bum wiping, my DC are washed everytime they go, you should try it sometime Wink.

DinahRod · 18/10/2010 22:28

No. Am conserving water now for when they are teenagers and spend 45 mins in the shower every morning.

mybabywakesupsinging · 18/10/2010 22:28

my 2 ds (5+3) get themselves very very dirty - especially in the summer when they play outside a lot - if they didn't get showered pre-bedtime I would have to wash their bedding instead...
They love a bath but don't get one everyday.

ForMashGetSmash · 18/10/2010 22:28

God....no! I used to when I had one only and when my Husband was working in the same country as me! Now it's every other if we're lucky...they'd rather a story and a hug than a bath taking up all the time! They get wiped before bed if they don't have a bath and again in the morning.

YABU....and where have you gone anyway OP?

TheBrideOfBlatherstein · 18/10/2010 22:29

Mine might go in the bath every night but we spend most of that time learning to spell with the foam letters or pretending to be Octonaughts!

Actual washing - hair washing especially - happens about twice a week as it makes DS scream and takes all the fun out of it.

Original poster
BigMommaOf4 · 18/10/2010 22:29

Not angry at all Hmm just shocked.

My DCs are reasonably efficient at bum wiping thanks. Still think babies in nappies need a bit of warm water and soap to clean them properly rather than just baby wipes.

Actually yes, I do like my DCs to smell clean but mostly I like them to feel clean and comfortable and bath time is time for them to wind down in our house. My 8 year old DSs hate missing one when we are out late occasionally. No I don't NEED to bath them every night but it's not just about hygiene.

OP posts:
gaelicsheep · 18/10/2010 22:30

I totally agree with the point about water consumption. We're on a private supply taken from a burn so I'm not too bothered, but if we were on mains or metered I definitely wouldn't bath them every night.

altinkum · 18/10/2010 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BigMommaOf4 · 18/10/2010 22:31

Bloody hell, this thread moved quickly! Must have touched a nerve!

OP posts:
NothereisnobodylurkingbehindU · 18/10/2010 22:31

I bath mine two or three times a week. Dd1 showers herself pretty much every night but she is 12 now and feels the need so to do.
As long as the children aren't actually growing mould or repelling everyone within a twenty mile radius I think I'm doing ok.

OP - can you restrain your horror at matters which actually don't concern you in the slightest?

StarkAndWitchesWillFindYou · 18/10/2010 22:31

I bath my kids when they are dirty. Sometimes two days in a row, often two weeks in a row, but sometimes even two fortnights in a row.

No point them having a bath when they are clean I say.

Lauriefairycake · 18/10/2010 22:31

Depends on age - I insist dd aged 12 has a bath and hair wash every day. As I do.

It's particular to her though as she had very poor hygiene when she came into care and I do it so that she is encouraged to value herself.

Serendippy · 18/10/2010 22:32

I mean, come on, babies and toddlers in nappies, older Dcs not very efficient at bum wipeing - how can people leave them to fester for days?

This could have been what got the reaction. Implying that your older children cannot wipe their bums and that babies will 'fester' if only cleaned regularly throughout the day with babywipes.
Top tip: PREVIEW!

ElleAndBump · 18/10/2010 22:32

i only bath my baby evry 2/3days,and it could be evryday if shes sicked or pooed/weed evrywhere that day,,, i dont see why they need bathing evrynight, its drys the natural oils out of ther hair and skin, and just because shes in nappies all day doesnt mean i dont change them regularly and clean her properly, and give her a kick about with no nappy on to get air to it, evry morning i wash her face and hands with damp cotton wool,,,where does a 12week old baby go to get that dirty they need bathing evry night? i understand if they find it relaxing and its part of a bedtime routine, but ma baby hates it and just aggitates her before bed, so i wouldnt class maself as lazy as i spend time with her talking and cuddling her rather than cleaning a already clean body

lilolilmanchester · 18/10/2010 22:32

BigMomma, I don't think it's what you said, more how you said it... kind of "I'm a great mother because..... unlike those of you who...." (which might not be what you meant, but is how you came across)

Georgimama · 18/10/2010 22:32

So your children actively enjoy bath time: has it ever occurred to you that every single child isn't exactly the same?

cakewench · 18/10/2010 22:32

YABU. I'll second those saying that in other countries, it's not the norm to bathe babies every single day. What is it they are "festering" in, exactly? They wear nappies, yes, but do you not clean them with wipes when they've done a poo? Or are you just leaving them in their filth all day until the regimented bathtime arrives? They aren't sweating like we do, either, so I'm not seeing the reason there.

My son does have excema, and honestly I'm surprised more children don't. Their skin is so thin and delicate compared to ours.

And no, I don't shower every single day. Certainly if I gone out and gotten some exercise (most days) but if I'm just around the house or have gone to the shops? No.

As for the people you know IRL- hate to suggest it, but they might actually be lying to you. Wink Haven't you noticed that everyone in toddler groups tend to have the perfect babies, always sleeping in their own cots, through the night, from the first month? Then when you mention oh, mine isn't, and we're still having to co-sleep half the time, a few other brave souls admit they're in the same situation. It's been known to happen!

RockBat · 18/10/2010 22:32

OP, having realised she's talking bollocks, has disappeared. DD is bathed when she needs it. It may be every night, it may be every two or three nights, depends on what's been happening. She hates the bath at the moment and, as she doesn't work with livestock or get sweaty or roll in mud, or eat jam with her fingers there is no need for regimented bathing. She has her bottom cleaned at every opportunity and her hands and face washed frequently throughout the day.

And she's two and a half, she doesn't need to relax ffs. You must have filthy, stressed kids if yours do.

bubbleymummy · 18/10/2010 22:33

Who are these children who smell bad if they don't get a bath everyday? What on earth do they smell of? Are they rolling around in manure or something?

sweetkitty · 18/10/2010 22:34

3 times a week here for the DCs

DD2 has very dry skin and bathing dries it out even more, you should see the state of it as we were on holiday last week and she was swimming and showering every day.

cory · 18/10/2010 22:35

But the needs that are not just about hygiene can be met in other ways, Bigmomma. I used to sing to mine of half an hour every night to help them wind down: does that mean all parents who do not sing are neglectful?

For those needs that are not about hygiene, I'd rather do something that's not environmentally wasteful.

Mine do shower more frequently now, but that's because they're older and need it. And a quick shower wastes less water.

sausagelover · 18/10/2010 22:35

DS gets a bath almost every night, he is 20 mo and gets himself into a right grubby state most days with mud, paint, draws on himself, smears food in his hair... etc (worse ona nursery day!). I obviously clean him throughout the day, but still a good soak will get it all off properly. His hair also gets greasy if it is not washed every day, as does mine. If for some reason he doesn't get a bath then I will make sure he has a good sponge wash before bed. It is such a nice feeling being all clean, in clean jammies and off to kip.