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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish my neighbour would SHUT UP about her son!

74 replies

CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:06

He is 7 months younger than DD (2 years, 4 months).

ALL she ever talks about is her DS. When my DD was born she took zero interest in her, even though I lent her books on her pregnancy and she chatted to me about her bump (it was all about her pregnancy). In fact, I don't think she even bothered to learn DD's name until her DS came along and she though DD would be a useful friend.

Every time I see her, she yacks on and on about DS and never bothers to ask anything about DD or, in fact, anything else at all. She's even started to text me in the evenings to let me know what DS has or hasn't eaten etc.

Today, she saw DD in full temper tantrum mode, and me obviously very stressed. DD has was also in a bad way a couple of nights ago, which involved an ambulance turning up. So, when the neighbour saw us, she just said that her DS was a bit poorly (oh, by the way, he's ALWAYS poorly!) and watched me struggle to walk down the road with a screaming toddler. She clearly wanted me to stop and hear about his latest chesty cough, and it really pissed me off!

This doesn't sound too bad, but I'm just so sick of it now. I'm not the only wrong to think this of her. In our local playgroup, it's been commented on before. Whatever's going on in people's lives, she'll go on and on and on about her sickly DS. She's always going on about how much hard work it is too, but she has her parents attention on demand.

Am I being unreasonable to wish she'd just SHUT UP about her son?!

OP posts:
Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:07

"only wrong" - Freudian?? I meant "only one!"

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/10/2010 19:11

Maybe she has no one else and is very lonely in search of friends.

FreudianSlippery · 18/10/2010 19:11

Must be really annoying. But the fact she is always saying he is unwell worries me a bit... Is she depressed?

Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:16

If she's lonely it's because she's bored everyone! Wink She's lived in this area all of her life and she must have a few people to talk to. She has an NCT group, but I know at least one of the members isn't keen on her at all. I forgot to mention that she's also an incredible snob.

Her DS always has a rattly chest and has inhalers. IMO she should cut down on his milk intake. He's not dramatically ill, but she just has to tell everyone. He only has to sneeze for her to tell everyone about it.

OP posts:
echt · 18/10/2010 19:18

Why would cutting down on milk help his chest?

FreudianSlippery · 18/10/2010 19:19

Exaggerating your child's illnesses is a symptom of PND

Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:21

Could cut-down on the mucus build-up. He drinks a lot of cows' milk.

OP posts:
Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:22

She doesn't just exaggerate his illnesses, it's everything. What he wears, what he eats, what he plays with etc, etc. Oh and the fact that everywhere they go, people say he's the cutest child they've ever seen....yeah, right.

OP posts:
memoo · 18/10/2010 19:22

If he has inhalers doesn't that suggest he has asthma?

laurely · 18/10/2010 19:23

I feel sorry for her

And agree she may be depressed.

YABU

Pushmeinthepool · 18/10/2010 19:23

I can't stand people like that, where the conversation is all one-sided.

Avoid, avoid, avoid!!

memoo · 18/10/2010 19:23

Actually OP you don't sound very nice at all.

IAPJJLPJ · 18/10/2010 19:25

dairy intake is thought to produce excess phlegm - have no idea if this is true or not

Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:26

She doesn't exaggerate his illnesses, she just presumes that everyone wants to hear about every detail of it.

We're all incredibly interested in his sleeping and eating patterns too, apparently.

She even moves her body to face you at whatever angle you're standing at to make sure that all you can see is her face. Countless ties I've been trying to keep and eye on DD, but she demands exclusivity and your undivided attention. It's awful!

OP posts:
FreudianSlippery · 18/10/2010 19:32

Ok why did you actually start this thread?

PutTheKettleOn · 18/10/2010 19:34

yanbu, she sounds a bit nuts. I have a neighbour whose DS is 6 months younger than my DD who is a bit like that. She often comments on other kids' (including DD) temper tantrums, snatching etc saying 'ooh, isn't it funny, DS never has tantrums and he never snatches, he just doesn't mind sharing his toys...' I'm just waiting with bated breath til he turns two... Grin

spookyhalloweenFluffypomkins · 18/10/2010 19:37

isnt that something all of us do?

Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:38

Freudian to find out if others think I'm BU.

Yes, Putthekettleon, I forgot to mention that she's critical of other children in a negative way. She's shouted at DD a couple of times which was very wrong. One time was because she was "dawdling" when we were walking. Nothing wrong with a 22 month old dawdling and not her place to criticise DD directly. I've also heard her say silly things like "Doesn't your mummy like cutting your fingernails?" in the mum's earshot.

No child can compare to her gorgeous little boy who always needs sympathy...apparently.

OP posts:
Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:40

Spooky, not to this extent. In one playgroup we'll be chatting about the usual toddler-related stuff (tantrums usually) and she's take over by talking about her DS and showing no interest in other people. Conversation over.

BTW, I rwas the one who encouraged her to join local groups and meet other mums. Wish I hadn't bothered!

OP posts:
Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:46

OK, I'm convinced I'm NBU! Just received a text: "XXX managed all of his dinner tonite (sic) and had Waitrose yogurt".

Fascinating. Why mention Waitrose too?

OP posts:
spookyhalloweenFluffypomkins · 18/10/2010 19:46

I think you will have to say something to her then?,obviously you cant avoid her as she is your neighbour.

BeerTrixSixSixPotter · 18/10/2010 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CommonSenseSuze · 18/10/2010 19:53

But it's all so one-sided. As I said, we had an ambulance here for DD the other night (she definitely knows about it) and that's glossed over due to lack of interest. Instead she just tells me that her little darling has a cough again.

OP posts:
Firawla · 18/10/2010 19:53

yanbu!! lol @ that text, very strange to send that kind of thing. i can understand sending to the child's dad if interested but to your friend or neighbour?! why would they have that level of interest if he ate his waitrose yoghurt or not! she does sound a bit crazy

SalFresco · 18/10/2010 19:53

I have a neighbour like this - except she is obsessed with herself, not her DS. She is pregnant with DC2 and has barely done anything since she was about 5 weeks pregnant - she constantly seeks attention on facebook - when a friend of ours was in hospital with her own poorly newborn, she was texting her about her own swollen ankles! She is a massive PITA - BUT she suffered extrememly bad PND after her DS and is on anti-depressants in this pregnancy, so I try and be patient and make time to listen.

I think YANBU to be annoyed by her. You are only human. But think about why she is like this.