So what is the point of Health Visitors?

[wonderstuff]

I've seen 3 so far, they all seem very nice, but really not very useful.

Today lovely lady came by, did PND questionnaire, weighed my baby. Talked about weaning - advised that some babies (especially boys) are ready for weaning at 4 months, to be aware of him taking interest in us eating couldn't give any advise about BLW as no reseach has been done and she doesn't want to get sued - fair enough, but seemed strange that on the weaning age she was willing to contradict research evidence. She also warned of 'missing weaning window at 6 months' I didn't ask what would happen - will I end up bfeeding forever, Little Britain style? Told me breastfeeding was tiring (there was me thinking it was the lack of sleep that was knackering but presumbably if I bottle fed I'd have much more energy?) She stayed for half an hour.

Really what is the point - could money be better spend on Midwifery or Social care?

For my first, the HV was clueless about bf-ing and gave me all sorts of misleading information (eg I need to eat more fattening food to improve the quality of my milk) and referred me to A&E when once she deemed my dd, who had a heart condition, was not putting on enough weight, where we waited for 4 hours to see a doctor who immediately sent us home, dd crying and stressed by it, not to mention her mother. All the time she was watching me like a hawk for PND.

By the time I had ds, I avoided HVs like the plague and simpered at their patronising advice, including on the sleep front, whilst counting the seconds till I could get out of the clinic.

I don't need to be patronised by health professionals who have their own prejudices and misconceptions about raising children. I tolerated HVs.

Well if mine had done what she was supposed to I might think there was a point. Inexperienced, inconsiderate, semi-literate and downright discourteous. Couldn't answer a single question in the context of evidence based research could only read leaflets out loud about such things as b/f and immunisation. Failed to find out information, failed to provide help about b/f when it was requested, failed to make a proper first appointment to visit me, failed to record information correctly. Expected me to sit in a grubby clinic on demand waiting for advice in which I had no faith. Find it rather strange that on the first visit she thought she could send a letter the day before received at 8.50 telling me she would arrive at 9. Arrived at 9.25 - surely she wasn't held up at a clinic. When breast feeding failed big time told me that B/F mothers put their babies first and F/F mothers put themselves first. When asked then for help with it told me to phone the NCT!! Totally pointless waste of time. Saw them twice with 1st child and refused to see them with second child and would never ever allow one into my home again. That was 15 years ago - still angry at the sheer incompetence and audicity of a so called service. Hope it is aboloished in Wednesday's spending review. Total waste of resources that provides a job creation scheme for nurses who don't want to lift sufficient fingers to nurse. Concluded very fast that if I had doubts about my baby's health or well being - you speak to a doctor. Also and the bit they don't tell you is that the HV is obliged to offer a visit you are NOT obliged to accept it. When they are literative, clean, properly trained and older than 25 and have children of their own might change me views. Still cross even now.

OK you all win HVs are a waste of space should all be shot at dawn! Thinking of giving up anyway cant cope with ongoing child protection.
onceamai- I was a paediatric ITU sister but was horrified at some home situations children were discharged into. Thats why I chose to go into health visiting to try to address child poverty and poor parenting.
Many years on Ive just about had it.Baby P upset all but I see situations on a weekly basis which damage the emotionaland physical welfare of children.
Yes Im literate,clean shower daily to face sitting on urine soaked settees,older than 25,have brought up 2 girls by myself having left abusive husband.
But have decided tonight I have had enough. Job hunting tomorrow.

I don't think that jaffa. I've been involved with two, one was slightly old fashioned but ver supportive and reassuring when I was worried about DS's weight loss. She also made it very clear in a non patronising way that she was linked to SS, but she wasn't there to assess me, and that she wasn't expecting us to clean up for her visits. The other was in her 30s, having children at the same time as me and talked about how she co slept and gave fantastic advice (OK I didn't follow it but that was my fault :o)

Oh and the 2nd one has gone to be a HV for children with SN, the 1st is on sick and we are having floating ones from the area. Glad I am past the stage of visiting regularly :(

Jaffacake - I am sure it must be beyond discouraging for you to read this sort of guff. But you must appreciate that the real dimwittedness on this thread is being displayed by the people who have had a bad experience with a health visitor - and therefore think that all health visiting as a profession is pointless.

They are the ignorant fuckers, not you.

My HVs were great, spotted that dd wasn't feeding properly, did their best to support me with the breastfeeding, kept badgering me to take her to the doctor (where undernourishment was spotted), got the breastfeeding counsellor to come out. I had my head firmly stuck in the sand; they had the experience to see that things weren't right.

They also saw that I was on the verge of developing PND and managed to get me out of the house and to a new mums group which then stayed my support and social focus for many years.

And it was a HV who first flagged up concerns about dd's joints.

Your GP is an excellent port of call if you think you may be suffering from depression but he/she really won't give a crap and will be pissed off if you want a whole, precious, 10 minute appt each week to talk about weaning, possets and rashes. They're also highly unlikely to know about what's available locally for young families to do to have fun.

It's not a perfect service, it's stafffed by humans not robots, but there are 1000s(more, millions, billions) of families out there who are much, much better off for having had a health visitor available to them.

She does not visit you at home to judge you because you haven't brushed your hair that day or hoovered for the past week. She is there to assess whether you are coping and whether she can offer you extra support if you need it. She comes to your house because when your baby is 10 days old it is a LOT easier for her to come to you than it is for you to make it to an appointment with her, particularly if are feeling low and might actually need her. She is a trained professional who has the knowledge and contacts to put you in touch with all the relevant help you may need. She is not an HV because of the fab and pay and great working conditions, she is an HV because she gives a damn about you and your babies.

When the HV came to visit us for the first time when DD came home from hospital she was a lovely lady and no doubt meant well, but when checking over DD said "Hmmm - did the hospital say anything about her genitals?" me - "No...[pause] Should they have done?", HV "Oh well I'm sure it's ok really then" and refused to be drawn any further. I was in pieces until the 8 week check when the GP looked at me like I'd grown an extra head when I asked if everything was normal with her genitals. Yes.

Jaffa cake I'm sorry you feel like that but some of us are only relating the experiences we have faced. Don't you think the system should be more honest? If I'd been told at the time, HV's have x, y and z as their priority and you will get only five minutes of their time - that would have been fine. The fact was I was treated by the little madam on the one hand as though I was the equivalent of the families you have described and on the other as though I was an over privileged middle class mother who was not entitled to care. There were a lot of class related and political comments that could only have been intended to offend. On another thread you asked who would screen if the service was not offered to every mother -well surely the social questions asked by midwives could indicate a huge amount and surely the GP's 6 week check could incorporate the Edinburgh questions (apart from the fact that they should already know the family quite well in many cases and could alert hv's ss to those with problems) leaving HVs more free to deal with deprived families which as you say is why you went into it and I rather got the impression that mine had a political agenda to kick a middle class mother when she was very very down.

Excellent post, 3wise.

Have 4 dcs, never really saw the real value of HV's until my youngest had problems when he was 2. She came round every week for months for a chat and gave loads of fantastic advice which really helped. They're like airbags for want of a better description.

Jaffacake please don't quit

jaffacake - read my post! read my post! i loved my HVs. And one of my friends wanted to become an HV, for the same reasons you did.

name I don't appreciate being referred to as an 'ignorant fucker' because I have been less than enamoured of my HV.

I am an intelligent woman and an experienced parent as are many of the people who have posted here.

The fact remains that women will be reluctant to seek help and advice from someone whose job, in part is to judge them. You must see that there is a conflict.

I am sure that many HVs are wonderfully supportive but if you want more people to post positive stories about their HVs, then as a profession they need to raise their game.

Thank you stresshead.

I get quite upset at these HV bashing threads and there are quite a lot of them.

I'm not an HV, it may have sounded like I am, but I do work with them and I see, 1st hand, everyday the difference made by them to those who need them.

Am leaving the thread now as feel like am bashing my head against a biased, HV hating wall.

Completely agreed Karmabeliever. As I have said in the past the difference between the HV and other provessonal advisers, is that if I appoint an accountant, lawyer, (or private physician for that matter) I do so on the basis of reputation and personal research. The HV is imposed upon women - even for maternity care women often have a choice of hospital, midwife led unit or even a private obstetrician if that's what they want. When a service is imposed and I am told I have to accept it, as far as I am concerned there is no room, no room at all, for error.

With DS1 my HVs were absolutely useless and just so condescending. I went to a Baby Cafe and the HVs there were lovely, but also quite useless when it came to assistance for me - my DS turned out to be lactose intolerant (temporary, grew out of it at 4 1/2 months) and was in a LOT of pain when breastfeeding. They said 'colic' and kept telling me to try gripe water and infacol...(um, yes I have, repeatedly, they don't help!). Then I found out about colief on the internet and tried it, and it helped a lot. Flaming SAME HV then says - oh yes, a lot of mums have success with that.... Well then why the flipping heck didn't you tell me that when I was trying to work out what to do for my son who was screaming blue murder whenever I fed him then and asked for your advice????!!!!! (And visiting ones not turning up when they were supposed to or even ringing, etc, etc)

But then with DS2 I had the most lovely HVs - different area, different clinic. They were so helpful and so non judgmental. I was quite sad when I didn't need to see them anymore!

I just wish there was a way of weeding out the awful ones. They really do give HVs a bad name.

The very simple fact is that the work load is expanding beyond their capabilities, they are not Drs so are not allowed to diagnose.

(sigh) there are huge inequalities within the NHS and the people it is trying to serve.

I was once shown a families 'pets' whilst my mentor was on a home visited - they were huge woodlouses living in the utterly damp children's bedroom. I have never seen anything like it.The mother was beside herself because she was supposed to bringing the baby home after being in hospital with broncholitis.Our next visit was to a more comfortably well off family who was cross and verbally abusive because we were 15 mins late.... Sometimes it's hard to prioritise.

Still, hopefully George will cut the service hey?

I have had 5 kids over 18 years and feel that the role of HV has changed enourmously in that time.

With DD and DS1 I saw HV after the MW dischared me. MWs came round every day for about 12 days and then HV took over for a couple of weeks.

They were great. Some were a bit barmy but the nutty one turned up to visit DD in hosptial 12 years later when she was dx with cancer. She bought her a perfect present and chatted for ages. She knew exactly who we were. I was beyond touched. I dont always remember her name but then it pops into my head. Next time it does I am gonna google her

DS2 was a huge suprise. He came to live with us at 8 weeks with no warning. I really needed the local HVs but because I hadnt given birth they were all confused. Everytime I went to clinic they would read the first bit of the red book and treat me like sh*t because they thought I was the one who had neglected him. It was like a fecking farce. When I pointed out I was his new carer they attitude changed like magic! All this judging was done in the open plan cattle market clinic with everyone agog.

With DCs 4&5 I have had terrible experiences. I always post about them on here! Thank God I am experienced and pretty confident. One spent the whole appt grilling me about my late DD and ended the conversation with 'I bet you are really worried the others will get it [cancer] now arnt you?'

In short, a good HV is a gem to be cherished, a bad one is a fecking nightmare to be avoided at all costs.

3WiseMumsies - Mine didn't ring to make an appointment until Ds was 5 weeks old by which time I could have made it to the clinic or whatever, she then proceeded to comment on the fact that due to a 6 year age gap i'd probably forgotten all about baby safeing the house, whilst casting her eye around it (we quite clearly were having building work done, which would be completed shortly ie the roof was off ). 4 kids, 5 different areas, 0 HV's with any tact, diplomacy or even anything helpful to say.
I don't believe for a moment they aren't going to be looking for what they consider to be mums in need of extra help but as I haven't heard from mine for 13 weeks now could be me but how would she know ?

As an aside, my baby is 7 months old and nobody has done the edinburgh screening thing with me. Should they have?

Nobody asked me about domestic violence when I was pregnant either (there isn't any btw!) but I thought everyone was supposed to be checked?

My Health visitor, I believe saved my life.

I come from a very middle class family and area and was totally prepared and looking forward to the birth of my first child. Unfortuately my mother suddenly died a week before she was born but I thought I was fine and carried on. My health visitor obviously realised otherwise and came round weekly. After a few weeks I had not bonded at all with my baby and spent hours driving around so I didn't have to spend time with her. I then spent time thinking of ways I could end my life.

I truly did not realise there was anything wrong and there was no way I would ever have seeked help.

My health visitor carried on coming round slowly made me realise what was going on encouraged me to get help and supported me for 18mths until I was totally better.

She took me to toddler groups and just gave me the support I was missing from not having my mother.

I hate to think what would have happened if she hadn't spotted what was going on, that is why we soooo need them.

Hopefully this story shows that it doesn't matter what area or background you come from things can go wrong and so different to how you expect.

Pleease support health visitors I strongly believe I wouldn't be here otherwise.

(maybe some need a little more training in some areas!!!!)

My health visitors were lovely.

The first was supposed to see us on day 14 after DD1 was born. she was a casualty of SIDS in the early hours. Of course I had a houseful of police and concerned friends to deal with. So she left me a very sweet note, with a contact number and said to be in touch if I needed anything. She continued to drop by for a couple of months, which I was very grateful for, as the father had left weeks before birth.

She was still at work for DD2 and acted sensitively, when I was reluctant to bond in the early days. Her approach was always gentle and sensitive. Although her husband died at around the same time as DD's father did, she was able to pass on condolences to me. Over the years we have met in other roles and it is always a pleasure to see her.

The second HV was less gentle, but equally as well meaning . . . meeting me in the aftermath of a fatal accident probably hoiked me up to the top of their list again; but better that than slip under the radar. Although my mum lived 3 miles away, she does not deal with things in any practical sense and I was able to have more honest conversations with both HVs than ever with my mum.