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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that giving a flat to a 16yr old with a baby is wrong

138 replies

twirlymum · 15/10/2010 13:34

In my capacity running a voluntary youth group, I have a few of the girls as friends on facebook (that's another debate).
One of them is 16, and her baby will be a year old in December. She currently lives with her grandmother, as she doesn't get on with her mum.
Last week, she put as her status 'FML, fed up with rules, going to the council to get a flat'.
A friend (judging by the photo in her 30's) commented that it's not as easy as that, the council don't just hand out flats willy nilly, and that in the circumstances, she'd be better off where she was.
What followed was a barrage of comments from other friends (at least five), all saying pretty much the same thing:
you are entitled to a flat, they have to give you a two bedroom place, you'll get a grant to furnish it, the council pay your bills etc.
I was a bit stunned, is this the case? I had thought it was something the media hyped up, but maybe I'm wrong??

OP posts:
bubbleOseven · 15/10/2010 13:36

What, this is the first time you've realised that young mums get allocated council houses? Really? Have you lived in the UK long?

Glitterknickaz · 15/10/2010 13:40

She cannot be responsible for a local authority or housing association tenancy until she is 18.

She will not get a flat. Hostel at best.

grapeandlemon · 15/10/2010 13:43

My DH's neice got PG at 18 applied for a flat with her DP, turned down 3 places as they were not near enough to Tescos and got allocated "thr right" one 6m later. It was so easy I was really Shock

AuntiePickleBottom · 15/10/2010 13:44

my friend had a flat at the age of 17 with her daugter

theywillgrowup · 15/10/2010 13:44

Not as simple as its made out

think i will skip away before the "well my friend of a friend got a flat with a jacuzzi and steam room through the council for free" starts.

lol

Glitterknickaz · 15/10/2010 13:45

APB possibly under Social Services' supervision then. Which happens if a child under the age of 18 doesn't have an adult willing to be responsible for them.

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 13:47

Some of this girls friends have said that they did get flats at 16? Their advice was 'don't take any shit, by rights you're entitled to a two bedroom flat, don't let them put you in a baby unit, they have too many rules'

Someone did actually point out that they are not actually 'entitled' to anything. Just because they chose to have a baby does not ensure that the world owes them a living. That opened a whole can of worms!

bubble, I really thought that it wasn't that common, just a myth perpetuated by the press.

OP posts:
MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 13:47

what glitter said - plus if she's got somewhere to live, unless her grandmother is willing to kick her out, or where she's living is completely unsuitable she's not going to be a high priority, and thus further down the list, with an even longer wait.

You can get grants to furnish your house (they're frequently empty shitholes), she'd get HB and CTB paid for her (once she's old enough to be responsible for the La/HA house) but not the rest of her bills - and as she's only 16 - she won't be getting the £65 a week IS - she'll be getting £50 a week, plus CTC and CB for her one child to pay her bills.

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/10/2010 13:47

It's not that simple - if she's living with her grandmother then she'll be judged to be adequately housed so will be right at the bottom of the list. If her grandmother threatens to evict her she'll be a priority though. She may get a 2 bed flat straight away if there is lots of property available, but in most places this is not the case, so she's likely to get a hostel or b&b for some time before a suitable flat comes up.

Hammy02 · 15/10/2010 13:48

Hopefully under this government, people knocking out kids when they are in no financial position to do so(at any age) will not automatically be given a new place to live. I say 'new' as they will have been living somewhere when they conceived. This culture of entitlement has to come to an end. I am not talking about people who fall on bad times-they should be helped of course.

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/10/2010 13:49

She'd need a grant to furnish the flat tbf, as it will come with nothing - not even carpets or curtains, fridge, cooker etc. It won't be enough money for nice stuff though!

expatinscotland · 15/10/2010 13:53

Tell that to our downstairs neighbour.

She's in the one-bed council homeless flat with her 2-year-old and she's 7 months pregnant.

The flat's former occupant was a massive alcoholic.

When the girl got the flat, the carpet was matted with puke, which was also on the curtains and furniture. It was a rank hellhole.

They've told her she'll be in there for 18 months.

Glitterknickaz · 15/10/2010 13:53

Sorry. Forgot the Daily Mail is gospel and this happens all the time. My mistake.

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 13:55

I know 2 young people that got pregnant -they applied for council housing

  1. First of all got put into a "homeless hostel" - basically a shite hotel full of drugs, alcohol and crime. She'd already got a young baby at the time. She was eventually given a grotty council house
  1. Young girl (19 now), still living at home with her parents, (and for a while her fiance but the fucker left her when she was 7 months pregnant), 2 younger sisters, 1 older (adult) sister and due any day - (well due Wed just gon eactually). Her parents refused to throw her out to help her find somewhere. Baby was NOT planned, and it was all a bit of shock when it happened. anyhow, over crowded, baby due any day, not been offered anywhere.

She's going through the RAS to see if she can find somewhere private to rent while waiting to see if the council ever offer he anything.

ratspeaker · 15/10/2010 13:56

A lot will depend on the local authority
Some will regard her as making herself voluntary homeless, some may assign her a case worker, some may have hostel accomodation, some may use b and b
Watch and see what she reports on her FB

She may get a shock when she finds out she will have to pay her own gas, elcectric, tv licence, mobile phone, travel costs, as well as food, nappies, clothes
That a crisis loan for furnishing has to be paid back
That she may be in a run down area

grapeandlemon · 15/10/2010 13:57

Nothing to do with the Daily mail here; just people I actually know in person.

I also went to school with countless girls who did this. It wasn't shangri-la but they were housed.

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 14:00

She has been advised to ask her GM to say she's thrown her out.

OP posts:
HowAnnoying · 15/10/2010 14:00

I don't understand why people get all up in arms about people getting housed by the local authority. I mean, what's the alternative? Maybe people WANT to see young mums with babies living in cardboard boxes begging for scraps. THat'd be nice wouldn't it. Make us feel really great about ourselves and our country.

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 14:02

aww well twirly case number 1 that I mentioned above got her mum to say she was throwing her out (to be fair to the mum the house was extremely overcrowded and there really wasn't space for her older DD and baby) - and she ended up living with druggies and alcoholics for several months - nice

Clumsymum · 15/10/2010 14:02

YANBU.

It is wrong to give a girl with a baby her own flat, whether she is 16, 18, or 25!!

If someone in her situation is homeless and without any financial support, she should be offered a place with a family, in effect a "foster family", who will act as surrogate grandparents to the baby, and apply responsible house rules for the mother to follow - hence if she has left home because she doesn't like the rules and responsibilities her own parents impose on her, the alternative is to live in a home where she will similarly have rules & responsibilities, guidelines if you like.

That would benefit the baby, and indeed, benefit the young single mother (most of us know that life at home alone with a new baby can be very lonely).

Obviously, if she has the means to pay rent/bills for herself, then she is at liberty to get her own place.

My niece didn't like living at home with her mum & dad. She and her boyfriend decided to live together, altho neither had a job. They moved into a truly grotty house, shared with other (not folk they knew, just a group of people who needed extra help with the rent). Niece didn't like it (being used to rather more comfortable surroundings).
So she and BF decided to have a baby, because they knew that once they did, a flat would be provided by the state.

And it was. They have a flat, new cooker, new washer, new TV, and a baby girl, who, at 3 weeks old, was propped up in a corner of the sofa with her bottle to feed herself, because her mum can't be bothered.

The childs father has said that he "might look for some gardening work soon" (cos as we all know, there is lots of gardening work available in the uk thru Nov, Dec, Jan ....).

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 14:05

25 - you think a 25yr old with a baby on her own should be given a place with a foster family??? WTF!!!!!

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 14:06

new cooker and new washer was probably bought with the loan they'll be paying back through their IS/JSA

Clumsymum · 15/10/2010 14:06

Yep - because she still needs support and guidance

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 14:09

I just think at 16 she would be too young to cope on her own. She is very immature.
We have children bringing up children.
It just seems petulant to say that as she doesn't like rules, she should be free to do as she pleases.

OP posts:
Glitterknickaz · 15/10/2010 14:10

Clumsy, and of course there is a SURPLUS of foster families for troubled kids already isn't there? Hmm

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