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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that giving a flat to a 16yr old with a baby is wrong

138 replies

twirlymum · 15/10/2010 13:34

In my capacity running a voluntary youth group, I have a few of the girls as friends on facebook (that's another debate).
One of them is 16, and her baby will be a year old in December. She currently lives with her grandmother, as she doesn't get on with her mum.
Last week, she put as her status 'FML, fed up with rules, going to the council to get a flat'.
A friend (judging by the photo in her 30's) commented that it's not as easy as that, the council don't just hand out flats willy nilly, and that in the circumstances, she'd be better off where she was.
What followed was a barrage of comments from other friends (at least five), all saying pretty much the same thing:
you are entitled to a flat, they have to give you a two bedroom place, you'll get a grant to furnish it, the council pay your bills etc.
I was a bit stunned, is this the case? I had thought it was something the media hyped up, but maybe I'm wrong??

OP posts:
MumBarTheDoorZombiesAreComing · 15/10/2010 19:07

I'm not sure a 25 yo needs a 'foster carer' when alone with a baby. I was 25 when partner left me and DS 13 months. I managed abroad with 2 jobs and then returned to UK and rented privatly. 15 months later I got offered a new build 2-bed flat which I've been in 3 years. BTW apart from the first 9 weeks after returning to the UK I have worked since end of maternity.

I do think a conditional flat should be given. For example rent is paid but voluntary work must be done, or must attend college. Childcare would have to be state provided but ultimatly they would get the money back in taxes.

allhallowsandwine · 15/10/2010 19:17

to charleney, yes your friend would get full housing benifit if not working. if working she would get a top up, amopunt depends where you live they tend give lower end going rate for private rent charged for the area you live and what housing you require ie 1bed 2bed so on for instace in my area family or one parent with 1 child 2 bed going rent = 625 per calander month. there are different stipulations for children sharing age gender etc.

grannieonabike · 15/10/2010 19:17

Everyone needs somewhere to live. Surely it's better to give a girl a good start in life as a mother?

Save your anger for the buy-to-let landlords who are putting up the prices of rented accommodation because they know the government have to pay the rents of people who can't pay their own. They are the ones fleecing the rest of us, not the poor girl and her baby.

If the government hadn't sold off all the council houses they wouldn't have to rely on the BTL landlords.

How the chickens come home to roost.

embarassedone · 15/10/2010 19:22

As others have said, some (most?) councils would require proof of estrangement from parent(s) and eviction...

I wouldn't fancy being homeless with a 1 y.o. (i.e. in a hostel/a room in a b&b).

coodles · 15/10/2010 19:34

Where I am,proof of estrangement and therefore refusal to continue to provide accommodation is done by a simple written statement, dated and signed by the parent/homeowner.

This is accepted by the Council as evidence.

embarassedone · 15/10/2010 19:37

I've had placement in Tier 4 CAMHS where parents were encouraged to do this (write letter of estrangement) so that their child could get into appropriate supported living.

I think what I would be concerned about is whether the yp involved understands that it can be a one-way street.

allhallowsandwine · 15/10/2010 19:41

you did actualy state up to 25!! anyway should you not have more insight into the structure of this from your job, seems strange you wouldnt, also i would have imagnined you would have more empathy than simply being outraged a 16 yrold should seek what she requires to establish her own family unit. yabvu

Horton · 15/10/2010 19:46

The idea of 25 year old women being placed in foster care has me doing the twirly finger thing at my temple. It's nuts. When my mother was 25, she was a qualified teacher, had two kids under 18 months and was working four days a week. Had her and my dad split up and she'd been unable to access reasonably priced housing, the very last thing she'd have needed was foster care. I would imagine that most 25 year old adults are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Those that aren't have issues that are not going to be solved by treating them like children.

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 19:49

Hang on, allhallows, is that directed at me? I never mentioned 25 or indeed anything about foster care, that was clumsy?
Can't find a reference to clumsy's job, so am a bit confused?

OP posts:
lowercase · 15/10/2010 19:51

what should become of them then OP?

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 19:58

Supported housing, where there is someone to keep an eye on the girls, with parenting classes, and childcare while they are in education.
Is that wrong of me?

OP posts:
Theincrediblesulk1 · 15/10/2010 20:01

sounds like a great idea to me twirlymum.

SpecterBooAlot · 15/10/2010 20:05

The councils suggestion to me was to get a credit card Biscuit And they won't allocate me anywhere because my parents have not thrown me out on the streets. If my parents did throw me out, I would be given a bedsit nearly twenty miles away.

Its not that easy.

And as to your original question OP, yes, YABU. She is a parent, she and her child deserve somewhere to live, and to call their own, regardless of her age.

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 20:12

On that basis, would you say the same if she was 15? 14?

OP posts:
grannieonabike · 15/10/2010 20:12

twirlymum: great idea. Higher taxes for the richly-housed can pay for it.

Theincrediblesulk1 · 15/10/2010 20:15

it would be no different to sheltered housing for the elderly, might help the girls feel part of a community, and parent together!

allhallowsandwine · 15/10/2010 20:15

sorry twirly mum in not reading the thread properly that was a mistake i appologise.

GiganGORE · 15/10/2010 20:21

Under the age of 18 the only way she will be offered any housing assistance is if she has no family willing to take her in, whether she wants to go back there or not.

IF she is deemed to need housing assistance then they will home her in a mother and baby unit, or even place her in foster care with the baby.

She will not be given a flat. or a widescreen tv holiday at butlins and access to free vodka

MillyR · 15/10/2010 20:28

Twirlymum, I agree with you that a supported housing scheme for young mothers is an excellent idea. They would have each other for support and babysitting.

But isn't supported housing going to be in flats? This seems to contradict your thread title, as at the start you seemed to be against young single mothers being given flats.

embarassedone · 15/10/2010 20:35

Supported living can be in rooms. Hostels can have an element of supported living.

Original poster
twirlymum · 15/10/2010 20:38

Allhallows, that's fine, I was confused! Smile

OP posts:
dementedma · 15/10/2010 20:53

I used to work in a furniture recycling project and we held the local authority contract for furniture "vouchers". these were worth £250 and were for newly rehomed people - often young mums - to buy second hand furniture such as sofas, beds (mattresses were new), white goods, etc.Some of the stuff we had was really good, and all cleaned before re-sale. I lost count of the times that the beneficiaries of these free vouchers, objected to having to have second-hand "crap" and asked if the voucher covered wide-screen tvs, dvd players etc.When told it didn't and that it was only for essentail stuff our staff - mostly volunteers - got dog's abuse!
DH and I have second -hand TV, children's beds, bookcases, kitchen table and chairs and many other things and we both work but can't afford new. I'd love someone to give us £250!!!!

allhallowsandwine · 15/10/2010 21:02

think i was confused! word to self stop reading long threads whilst dd is trying to swing around your neck at bed time.

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 15/10/2010 21:03

Sometimes I really hate Mumsnet.

brightyoungthing · 15/10/2010 21:15

I have a real-life DM story about the state of social housing Angry
In 2004 I split with XP who I was renting a private 2 bed house with. I had nowhere to go and went to the council for help. They found me and DD a place in a hostel. It was the only local one, which was lucky because I needed to still get to work and couldn't drive. It was full of druggies, all night parties going on every week-end and was freezing and run-down.
XP, who is an immigrant and by this point had lost his job due to becoming addicted to heroin and crack, rented a room in a private house full of similar types. One day he got fed up of living there and went to the council office to request a flat on the grounds that his room was unsuitable for him. The next day the housing officer visited him at home and decided that it was in fact not suitable for him and asked him to come to the office later that day. When he got there they offered him a 2 bed flat in our town.
He went to see it and was shocked to find it was unfurnished. He moved in and a helpful man from the council came round with some brochures so XP could choose between paint and wallpaper of various colours and designs, a new sofa and curtains in the color of his choice and a nice brand new fridge freezer. He also benefited from a new mattress.
They call it a loan but he didn't pay any rent so did not have to pay anything back until he started working.(never)
18 months later when I was offered a HA flat to rent (the council would not house me here but wanted me to move to Weston-super-mare many miles away) it was completely bare of anything and needed complete furnishing. I asked what grants/loans are available to help with the cost and was told NOTHING.
Sorry but sometimes the DM are spot-on Sad