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Original poster

condom found in husbands sleeping bag..

103 replies

Bubbles007 · 14/10/2010 22:26

Husband returns home from three day sailing trip, I find a condom in his sleeping bag whilst hanging it on the washing line after I have cleaned it. I asked how it got there and apparently it was an ongoing joke amongst the other married men on the boat. They kept moving condoms around. Am i being unreasonble by being uncomfortable with this ?

OP posts:
Deliaskis · 15/10/2010 14:21

I really don't think anybody is saying men find condoms funny. I would think, imagining the scenario, it's not the condom itself that is funny, in a 'ewww you have a condom' type of way, esepcially as it was still in a a wrapper anyway, it would more be the 'who is going to be daft enough to end up with this in their sleeping bag to explain to DW when they get home' type of thing.

It's not hilarious, but it's not 'finding a condom funny', it's finding it funny for somebody to have some embarassing explaining to do. It's the same kind of humour (for want of a better word) as tampering with a mate's phone to either take a photo of or add a fake phone number to the address book of some random girl, leaving the mate wondering who the hell it was and possibly with some explaining to DW about who it is and why she's on his phone.

And I'm not saying think that's particularly funny either, but is a pretty plausible excuse in the circs of a boys weekend away.

D

NotanOtter · 15/10/2010 14:24

are they men or 11 year olds?

stubbornhubby · 15/10/2010 14:25

is it his size?

ShrineOfCrazyDemon · 15/10/2010 14:27

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Deliaskis · 15/10/2010 14:30

Shrine, well as it was still in its wrapper, it clearly wasn't used.

D

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 15/10/2010 14:30

Just as a matter of interest - how old is your DH and his mates?

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah · 15/10/2010 14:32

Delia I don't know how old the OP's dh is, but a friend of mine recently had his phone snaffled by his mates, who proceeded to post all sorts of "hilarious" crap all over Facebook. To be fair some of it was quite funny. They're in their late 20s-early 40s.

Trees the mark of a good party is when all the DCs come downstairs to tell their mothers to keep the noise down. Repeatedly Grin

Deliaskis · 15/10/2010 14:32

And FWIW, believing your DH doesn't mean you're daft, it could equally mean you're just not paranoid.

D

ShrineOfCrazyDemon · 15/10/2010 14:32

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ShrineOfCrazyDemon · 15/10/2010 14:33

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lennon80 · 15/10/2010 14:34

Agree with Shrine.. 'it was just a joke' is default position.

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah · 15/10/2010 14:37

I can quite see someone using this as a cover [pun not intended!] But I think it all depends on the DH.

In the unlikely event that I was cleaning out dp's sleeping bag and found a condom in it, I would believe him completely. One or two of his friends enjoy "hilarious" rugger-buggery, which he has complained about after trips away with them in the past. I can imagine one of them pulling such a stunt.

upahill · 15/10/2010 14:39

I was on some sex education training with our team about a month ago and it was all about condoms and STIs. Loads of condoms were put on the table and if any left over the instructor said we could have them if we want.

The women in the group went 'Oh, OK' The fellas thought it was hysterical to put one in the bag of the guy who had left the room to go to the loo! Honestly they laughd and laughed. Us women just shugged and didn't really get the joke.

These guys are in their 30's 40's and one in his 50's!!

Seriously weird!

ScaryFucker · 15/10/2010 14:45

Did all these grown men have a communal wank on a biscuit too ?

Deliaskis · 15/10/2010 14:46

You're right Jenai, it does depend on the guy, the rest of the 'story' and the relationship to start with.

This is just not something that would bother me, because I know from personal experience that sailing trips are just not 'pulling' type holidays, you're all living in very close quarters, probably sharing beds/bunks with your sailing companions, limited toilet/bathroom facilities etc. It's not the kind of place a bloke would lure an illicit fling back to, plus you spend most of your time in big woolly jumpers and waterproof trousers.

It would be entirely different TBH if a condom was found in someone's bag after a city break/stag do etc. especially if not the type used at home.

And still, my default position would usually be to believe my DH, unless there were other pointers to cause concern, or other reasons the story didn't check out. I honestly can't imagine that not being my default TBH. It would be different if the OP had any reason to suggest the DH hadn't been on a sailing trip at all - but seriously, you can just tell.

D

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah · 15/10/2010 14:46

They were wearing johnnies, Scary. No biscuit was harmed.

BeenBeta · 15/10/2010 14:52

bubbles - its a stupid bloke joke specifically designed to get your DH into trouble with you. It worked.

In some circumstances this type of thing can turn into mean bullying behaviour among a group of men.

MrMeaner · 15/10/2010 14:57

OK Ladies, this is how it goes:

Fisherman no. 1, end of a long day on the boat, is pulling on his jeans ready for dinner. Puts his hand in his pockets and feels something strange. On pulling it out he realises that he is wearing the same unwashed jeans that he last had on when going out with his wife 3 weeks ago when away for the weekend. Fear floods his brain as he realises that if said item is now found on his person, questions around his fidelity and reasons for carrying with him will spring to his spouses mind... [cf responses above].

A few seconds later a smile crosses his face, and a little giggle spouts from his lips. On the way to the dinner table, a small detour into his friends' cabin/tent/wherever they were staying and a flick of the wrist and the dirty secret is deposited deep in his friend's sleeping bag. He smiles secretly to himself all night.

Evening No. 2 and Fisherman No. 2 has spent all day in a sweat, worrying as to where the small article he found in his sleeping bag had come from. Was it a test from his beloved wife? Was it left there from when he was 21 on his last camping trip [indeed - who knew sleeping bags could be washed]. Regardless, disposal is required. However, what use disposal without making someone else live in trauma for a while. On the way to the dinner table, a small detour into his friends' cabin/tent/wherever they were staying and a flick of the wrist and the dirty secret is deposited deep in his friend's sleeping bag. He smiles secretly to himself all night.

Evening No. 3 and things have sped up. The item has been found in a number of different locations. The speed of reappearance is increasing as the day of departure looms. Everyone knows that only one person will face the wifely wrath when the ghastly gift is ultimately found. As long as it is not them much laughter will be expended over the next few months when meeting up again over a few beers...

But beware, the reappearing condom will never be forgotten and revenge one day will be sweet...

Bwaa haa haa haa haa haa

ScaryFucker · 15/10/2010 14:57

jenai... thank god

I was worried about the biscuits for a moment !

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah · 15/10/2010 14:59

People so rarely give the biscuits a second thought :(

hmc · 15/10/2010 15:02

Juvenile joke - is all

KnightRob · 15/10/2010 15:04

From the perspective of an immature bloke:

A group of us working in the City used to have a running joke (well, it was funny to us- particularly when drinking) to hide condoms about each other without being spotted, with the aim of causing maximum embarrassment. They were normally, but not always, wrapped.

Seeing your friend walk across a bar with a condom tucked under his suit collar, trying to swig from a bottle which is wearing protection, or walk off into the rainy night not realising what his umbrella handle is wearing, can be very amusing to we merry simpletons.

Years later, I am still much amused by the memory of one colleague talking to an important client, sipping a G&T, while the rest of us waited for the ice in his drink to melt - knowing what one cube was wearing and that it would eventually float to the surface of his drink.

It was all good-natured, and we were as bad, and as childish, as each other. I doubt we've changed much.

AbsofCroissant · 15/10/2010 15:10

I'm with the it's-a-stupid-bloke-joke.

I know my DBs, as lovely, intelligent and otherwise fabulous fathers and husbands they are, around certain friends, would do this and find this hilarious.

And on the scale off stupid jokes that I've heard of men doing, it's rather tame

BigWelt · 15/10/2010 15:19

There is a simple explanation. I've asked my friend who is also a sailor and he tells me sailors often use condoms on sailing trips to protect their equipment and to stop it from getting wet or dirty.

Quite often sailors will lend fellow sailing friends condoms if they have nelgected to bring their own. Sailors don't usually like to see other sailors with dirty equipment as it can often cause embarrassment and can sometimes lead to their own equipment becomming dirty and possibly rusty or corroded.

I hope this helps.

humanoctopus · 15/10/2010 15:23

Reminds me of a terrible 'joke' my brother and his friends got up to while on a trip. They got someone to 'unload' himself into a condom, knotted it and put it into the pocket of their victim's jacket. He, the victim, was single, but lived at home, and I often wondered if he did his own laundry??!! They were all in their 20s, and are much older now, but within and hour or two of being together, they revert back to the same sense of humour.