to want to go to sleep so DH and I can have sex?

[BigMommaOf4]

She is 13 and although she is constantly nagged to go to bed from 9pm onwards, is up and down the stairs all night and still awake up to midnight some nights. The other DCs are all asleep long before we go up so are not a problem.

Her bedroom is right next to ours so obviously we can't do the deed until we are sure she's in a deep sleep. Have only been able to do it twice since DS3 was born almost 12 weeks ago. Am getting frustrated!!

Can't do it early in the morning as DS3 is up during the night and we are knackered by then.

Any ideas, short of knocking her out ??

Love the Freudian slip in your title! ;)

Haha title should be 'to want DD to go to sleep'.

DH is not that boring that I would want to sleep through it!!

Is is so bad that you have to sleep through it?

Short term, get your partner to take a random morning off work so you can go back to bed for the morning.

Long term, I'll be interested to hear the answer as ds isn't old enough... yet....

Cross posted - best laugh I've had all day!

at "DH is not that boring"

Hope DD goes to sleep soon.

Why are you nagging her? She's 13, you are the parent, pull youself together and lay down the law then impose sanctions if she messes you about otherwise you'll never get a shag for the next 5 years!

Send her to a friend for a sleepover?

Just do it anyway, but quietly?

it's crap. and why we rarely manage it these days. were so much more active when tey were small. now they are always bloody awake. except for occasional monday mornings.

Does she listen to music/watch loud TV/otherwise drown out any noise there might be? And does your bedroom door lock?

just tell her to go to bed. tell her at half 9 ( i don't know what time teenagers go to bed at, sorry) that she is to pee/wash/drink etc all now as she is to be in bed with lights out for 10pm. (adjust times to suit you of course)

ave sex as noisily as possible, she will pretend she's asleep if she's an average, embarrassable teen.
The title is certainly an attention-getter.

When I met dh, him and his siblings were 17, 14, 12 and 10 respectively. MIL and FIL used to say 'we're going to bed, you might want to stay away from our room and the rooms next to and below it'. And then get on with it.

They were/are adults in love. They didn't tiptoe around or they'd never have had sex.

They're always at it though. I've dropped round at lunchtime on a Saturday and they've appeared flustered, in dressing gowns and making up crap excuses.

i have a baby of almost 12 weeks too and have only had sex twice since she was born too...mostly because dp doesn't seem to fancy me anymore..i wish i had a teenager to blame.

My parents used to have sex really loudly. I soon learnt to either put my headphones in or go to sleep

It does seem to get harder as your children get older i think it is because if they heard anything they will know what you were doing. you cant make up a story anymore.

My parents were very open about it and had a lock on the bedroom door so we knew what was going on if it was locked. but i am a bit more embarrassed about these things.

Iget . Start another thread. 12 weeks is really really early days, especially with a first baby.

What's the worst that would happen if she heard you? She sounds old enough to be disgusted embarrassed but not actually traumatised/scarred.

If you can't "perform" with her around, you will have to say to her, "Look, hop it. Dad and I want to have sex, so unless you want to hear what's going on, you have to piss off." She must surely be old enough to (a) understand that and (b) run for it, faced with such a threat!

Good lord. I think dd was 6 months before I stopped fending off dh with a broom.

Almost 11 months here Mermaid , though in fairness I am on dc3 and return to normal was quicker with the first 2.

Oops, cross-posted!

igetmorelovefromthecat*, your DH could be tired, too. Mine was tired and lazy for ages. He is still lazy, at 2y6m of having a child, but now I take the initiative (though I must admit that can only happen when I can catch him in bed - he stays up late, "unwinding" and I can't stay up).

Ditto the six months before intermittant service was resumed nevermind normal service.

I would also agree with being the parent and telling her to go to bed at a set time and beyond maybe twenty minutes later she's not allowed out of her room unless it's to pee. Otherwise I'd go to bed, lock the door / make it otherwise unopenable and carry on. Definitely arrange more sleepovers or send her to guides or similar where they go camping a lot. Nick off for a quickie whilst all DCs are downstairs eating tea / watching TV?

Yep, send her on a sleepover this weekend and make it 'shag-night'.

Give her an ipod, tell her you and DH are going to do the things that grown ups in love do, and get on with it. Then if she hears anything and is traumatised for life, she's only got herself to blame

DD1 is eleven and has just started trying to stay up 'til all hours; I'm going to have to try out my own advise pretty soon

She's 13, just get on with it - she'll get over it! They don't actually believe you only ever shagged to make them you know :)

Get a lock on the livingroom door and get comfy in there. Or just make sure your headboard doesn't touch the wall. Unless you yowl like alleycats, she won't hear you.