to want to go to sleep so DH and I can have sex?

[BigMommaOf4]

She is 13 and although she is constantly nagged to go to bed from 9pm onwards, is up and down the stairs all night and still awake up to midnight some nights. The other DCs are all asleep long before we go up so are not a problem.

Her bedroom is right next to ours so obviously we can't do the deed until we are sure she's in a deep sleep. Have only been able to do it twice since DS3 was born almost 12 weeks ago. Am getting frustrated!!

Can't do it early in the morning as DS3 is up during the night and we are knackered by then.

Any ideas, short of knocking her out ??

You'll be needing a bat.
It's some kind of baseball thing.
I have it incase people try to kill me.
I doubt they'd bother, or care, but still, I have a baseball bat.

Oh and lock the house, and learn to shout at people. (this doesn't work when you can't shout)
(Also, don't have asthma, that won't work at all)
(It may work if you whisper evilly)

Aye. Ignore me.

have sex on the floor, no creaky bed sounds

have the telly/radio/cd player on low

I must admit that even in my thirties, the idea of hearing my parents have sex makes me feel a bit faint...

Mu Dad is ancient.
He once told me that he was upset that he didn't have a full relationship with my Mum before she died.

I didn't need to know that.
Bleergh.

Eek.
I have to whisper, as my asthma is playing up.
I'd love to sing.
John Barrowman songs?
He's quite fun too?
And I hear he has something worth going there!

Oh, the Glee soundtrack. I can't sing. I can't shout, I can't do anything.
I'm just hoping I don't have to call an ambulance.

I'm sure I'll be fine.

mug???

how many threads are you posting on?

I sometimes "accidentally" leave the laundry basket behind our bedroom door, in case DD (6) gets up and tries to wander in.

You just have to have sneaky sex, OP. Under the duvet, and very quietly. It has a lot to recommend it.

Deadponcy - well if he is knackered I am not sure why as I do all the nights with dd (to be fair she is a brill sleeper so I'm not knackered either). The twice we have managed it I have basically cornered him on the sofa and given him no option. Can't really be arsed with doing that anymore though, it's not exactly satisfying when you know you have pretty much forced the other party into it!

muggglewump, why the very odd posts?

Put a bolt on your bedroom door and do it quietly.

I know what you mean about forcing, Igetmorelove! But there are other ways of "forcing", such as forcing him to think. Hope you manage to talk to him, but 12 weeks is not terribly long, so there is time for things to improve....

Iget - my DP went off me for ages after DD was born - at least 12 months. He denies it was because he had seen me give birth but I dont beleive him. Happily now he is back to being a dog on heat - things will get better. Its the last straw though isnt it, after all you've been through they make you feel so unattractive! x

We have a similar problem as are 9 year old is up later now and we prefer to do it when the kids are asleep. We nearly got caught once and yelled at them to go away and then felt mean.

My DD is now 5 and is not bothered in the slightest, she is always walking in and giving it and walking out again. We like it in the morning

We must get a lock on that door, but I think that would make her take more notice to be honest. She just wanders in and out of our room at will and we always stop if she comes in.

to JodiesMummy.

What? Your DD walks in while you're giving DH the rodeo ride of his life, and she just goes meh?

Pmsl at "rodeo ride of his life".

My dd is 12 and is usually in her room by 8/8.30 at the latest. She doesn't go to sleep until about 10 but she occasionally wanders out for a glass of water etc.

Suggestions:

• In the shower: lock on the bathroom door, noise of the shower should make you less self-conscious, you can always leave it on and go for it on the floor if you're not a stand up gal. You can even put the icing on the cake by chirping "bathroom's free" in her face as you come out.

• Doorstop in the bedroom combined with intentionally silent shagging (just think of trying not to wake your parents when you were doing similar things as a teenager and it makes it rather fun actually).

• Just drop the odd veiled hint that you and DH still have a sex-life (doesn't need to be blatant - you could mention doughnuts to a 13yr old and they'd probably think you were talking about sex). This should be enough to ensure that you completely disgust her and that she'll keep her distance both during the day and night.

• Be bloody grateful that you've managed it twice in 12 weeks since the last DC. Me and DW would've killed for that. Ungrateful sod ;-)

jodiesmummy

LOL Deadponcy - thinking doesn't really happen with DP, I had many a frank talking to with him (it can't be a discussion as he doesn't respond). In the end I was so angry/hormonal/sexually frustrated that I assaulted him with two magazines that I had in my hand (a Pick me Up and Take a Break I believe). That's the only time in my life I have been violent towards anyone and I was quite shocked at myself, I guess that's what long term rejection can do to a person (he wouldn't come anywhere near me when I was pg either).

I really don't see why you can't have sex anyway. I can remember hearing my parents having sex (well, I heard the squeaking of the bed - wouldn't really recommend noisy sex!) at that kind of age - and I honest thought that it was great that they still enjoyed each other.
I think it is perfectly ok for a teen to realise that her parents love each other and express their love through sex.

I heard my mum and stepfather at it, very noisily when I was a teen and it utterly traumatised me and damaged my relationship with my mum for a few years. It was horrible so I don't recommend exposing young children/teens to it quite so obviously but I do agree with giving older ones a warning and giving them a choice.

I used to hear my parents at it.. head-board merrily bouncing off the wall...didn't really bother me at all tbh its part of life..what bothered me was the whispered biter arguments they had before they got divorced...

A friend told me that when she was little, she heard her mum making some whimpery noises in the bedroom. When my friend asked her later what that was her mum said there was a little dog that died and she was crying about it...

Nelly...my friend stayed for a sleep over once and the head-board was banging I blamed the boiler!!!

Agree, just get on with it. Send her to her room at 9pm and order her NOT to come down again, and then get on with it downstairs!!