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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand the idea of 'wanting your body back'?

64 replies

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:27

I mean, I do understand the desire to reclaim your body (although after pregnancy mine wasn't worth reclaiming), but to not BF because of this? I saw the baby as taking up 9 months inside and then at least 6 months outside BF, not just the length of the pregnancy. Didn't actually work out like that but still.

Would anyone get pregnant thinking 'I want my body back after 7 months so will demand a premature delivery by CS'? Or what if the baby is overdue?

I am totally baffled at this reasoning. Why is having a baby thought of as just the length of the pregnancy?

Speaks a mother who was overweight, bleeding and exhausted after birth for many weeks and therefore whose body belonged to anyone who would take it, namely DD.

OP posts:

peppapighastakenovermylife · 13/10/2010 14:30

Hmm - I wanted to be comfortable again and wanted to pee when I wanted to pee rather than when someone kicked me in the bladder. And to sleep how I wanted to sleep.

Breastfeeding - again I would like not to leak milk and my clothes to fit and to not get engorged and for no one to grab at them.

But I wouldnt have an early birth or stop breastfeeding because of these.

Now I would like my pre DC's body back

Original poster

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:31

My body wasn't that great pre-DCs, can I please have my 18yo body back?

OP posts:

Poshpaws · 13/10/2010 14:32

I felt the same as you after my 1st. By the 3rd, I wanted my body back desperately and began to really dislike b/f.

Sorry.

fatlazymummy · 13/10/2010 14:33

There isn't any reasoning. Some people want to breastfeed, others don't. Some fit in between and are willing to try.Why would you think everyone shares your feelings?
That's all there is to it really.

Morloth · 13/10/2010 14:33

Oh I want my body back to just being my own, but I want DS to have human milk for as long as he wants/needs to more, so I suck it up.

TrillianSlasher · 13/10/2010 14:33

Well, pregnancy is non-negotiable, whereas BFing is optional.

PoorlyConstructed · 13/10/2010 14:33

I'd like my 21 year old body back. Pretty please.

Original poster

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:34

Surely pregnancy in most cases is optional too?

OP posts:

alfabetty · 13/10/2010 14:34

Well, I found being pregnant, incapacitated by sickness and so on really unpleasant, and having a job (first pregnancy) and another child (second pregnancy) to look after was really draining. So it was a relief to give birth and then to FF so I could get back to being 'me' again.

My babies got a happier mummy for it!

And giving birth at 7 months as an option (were it even available) is hardly the same a choosing to FF rather than BF.

TrillianSlasher · 13/10/2010 14:35

Maybe if surrogacy was more common women would choose to keep their body and not have to get it back at all.

colditz · 13/10/2010 14:36

because breastfeeding is optional. for some women, it is the ONLY option, for social reasons (anyone WANT to be abandoned by every family member and friend because of a feeding choice?) as well as physical.

Whereas pregnancy happens until it stops happening any more.

Original poster

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:37

Poshpaws don't apologise, just trying to see the reasoning because as far as I can see, your body is not entirely your own through pregnancy and although I wanted it back I was not going to take it back until DD was finished with it. I started the whole process thinking that BF was the next step. Maybe after 3 I will feel differently, though can't imagine having even another 1 at the moment!

OP posts:

mosschops30 · 13/10/2010 14:38

Your argument is a bit odd

not breastfeeding is a choice that is unlikely to harm a baby to the point of it being fatal.
having a delivery 8 weeks early could harm baby and be fatal.

So if your argument is all women should want to breastfeed and not have 'their body back' then YABU
if your argument is that women want a CS at 7 months then YANBU

Rhian82 · 13/10/2010 14:39

I certainly liked 'getting my body back' when I stopped breastfeeding (at 15 months). I wouldn't have not breastfed to get it earlier though.

Original poster

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:39

colditz I appreciate that BF is optional and I understand and sympathise with many of the arguments made for FF, I just don't understand this one.

OP posts:

FindingMyMojo · 13/10/2010 14:39

I'm happy to share! But when I do get my 'body back' I'll take the 18 year old version too please.

Poshpaws · 13/10/2010 14:40

. I do see where you are coming from. It was doing the school run with morning sickness and a toddler which made me realise how much I wanted my body back, but I would never had wanted him to come early.

Also, although I was fed of b/f, I did carry on.

5DollarShake · 13/10/2010 14:41

I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 2 years and 5 months now, with at least another 10 months to go.

I have to watch what I drink, at least make a nod towards eating healthily, wear breast pads every day and basically nourish my DD as I did for my DS. I can imagine there will most definitely come a time when I will want my body back, just for me!

I can't really see that that's unreasonable.

JockTamsonsBairns · 13/10/2010 14:43

Who gets to "demand a premature delivery by CS" ? I've never come across such a scenario, sorry.

I've also quite fancied the idea of getting my body back, and I don't think I'm unusual for feeling like that. The fact that it's becoming less and less likely the more DC's I have doesn't diminish the desire any.

May I add too - when I switched from BF to FF, I was utterly devastated at feeling like a failure due to my inability to master what I was told was the most beautiful and natural act of humankind. I used the "getting my body back to myself" way of thinking as some small compensation for how bad I felt.

So, YABU.

Original poster

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 14:43

mosschops I didn't mean to imply that anyone would want their body back at the risk of their baby's life! Change my point to 3 weeks early... What I think I am trying to say is why is having a baby not seen as a longer process than just the 9 months you carry them for? Do people want their bodies back because they are so fixated on this period of time? I had heard people on here refer to the '4th trimester' and that really helped me as I then saw DD as part of me for that extra few months

OP posts:

pjmama · 13/10/2010 14:43

I actually preferred my bf body and wish I could have THAT back! When I decided to stop breastfeeding my DTs at 16 months, all my baby weight had dropped off, I was back in my skinny jeans and had a decent sized pair of boobs for the first time I my life!

Fast forward a couple of years and now I have deflated balloon A cup boobs again and a much bigger bum!

C'est la vie!

Whitethorn · 13/10/2010 14:48

Each to their own I say.
I bfed for 3 months but desperately wanted my body back and newsflash ladies, the bfeeding baby stage is a very short part of your parenting experience.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 13/10/2010 14:52

I've been pg and/or bf since late 2005 (that seems like a loooong time when I write it down). For me the worst bit of bf was the early months, when it was constant and leaky etc.

Now with a toddler bf is easy and I feel like I can 'clock off' at the end of the day, so don't feel the same 'wanting my body back' thing that I certainly did feel in the early months with both my children.

chipmonkey · 13/10/2010 14:54

Not for me, Whitethorn! I have spent 6 years bfing!

But I would like my 18 year old body back even though I didn't appreciate it when I was 18!

GMajor7 · 13/10/2010 14:55

"Breastfeeding - again I would like not to leak milk and my clothes to fit and to not get engorged and for no one to grab at them."

peppapig puts my life in a nutshell

I'm happy to share my body with DD for now...

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